Mark Reads ‘The Last Continent’: Part 5

In the fifth part of The Last Continent, OH MY GOD I GET IT. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld

HOLY SHIT, I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT VERY EARLY ON, AND WHILE IT’S NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE, I’M STILL RUNNING WITH IT

Mono Island

So, early in this section, it was confirmed that the wizards were most certainly not on Fourecks. Simply put: the Bursar and Runes could not have walked around the whole place while Ridcully took a nap. Where were they, then? Clearly, the Geography professor had spent a great deal of time in this place, enough that he had set up a camp of sorts. Yet where was he? Enough time had passed that his UU notebook, with observations on Mono Island, had been eaten partially by ants. That implies that he hadn’t visited in some time.

But these concerns were immediately eclipsed by one massive plot twist. Look, I was surprised to see Mrs. Whitlow because I’m so used to all scenes with the wizards being just the wizards. Sure, we’ve seen her every so often, but she’s a background character for the most part. Now? Well, she an’t exist in the background, can she? She has to be part of the main story since none of the wizards know how to interact with women, and she’s now stuck with them. Why?

BECAUSE SHE REMOVED THE STICK THAT HELD THE WINDOW OPEN AND NOW ALL OF THEM ARE TRAPPED ON MONO ISLAND UNTIL SOMEONE OPENS THAT WINDOW. Technically, I guess, but more on that in a second.

The Key

THIS WAS SILLY AND AMUSING AND THEN IT GOT SUPER REAL AND I LOVE HOW THIS SNUCK UP ON ME. The Trickster kangaroo – now known as Scrappy – didn’t seem to be leading Rincewind to anything that made sense. Y’all, I’m re-reading this, and EVEN THE JOKE ABOUT THE VANDALS DRAWING IN CAVES IS PART OF THE SET-UP TO THE REVEAL OF WHAT THE TRICKSTER GOD WANTED RINCEWIND FOR. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This form of art is vital to the story itself! First, it’s what provides the means of the god to move anywhere it wants, which is how Scrappy got down into the waterhole with Rincewind. It’s how Rincewind fell into every waterhole, which gives his journal entries a whole new meaning. Yes, you could read them as nothing but a week of suffering, OR you could see them as a document of how Scrappy saved Rincewind’s life at precisely the right time.

But why? Obviously, Rincewind was wanted for a quest of some sort, but I mistakenly interpreted the faded petroglyph reveal as being a drawing of Rincewind. AND I WAS WRONG. SO WRONG. See, it took a bit of mental arrangement to put this together, to spin the continent and realize what Scrappy was talking about here. Why did it matter that this was the “last continent”? Why show Rincewind a drawing of himself? Why was Scrappy so insistent that Rincewind had changed history by arriving??? IT DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME. As far as I knew, he suffered in the desert for a week. How could that have altered tens of thousands of years of history?

Rincewind is here to twist the last continent back into its proper place. Why?

Rincewind turned and looked at the rock pictures again, the pictures that hadn’t been there a few weeks ago and then suddenly had always been there.

Figures holding long sticks. Figures in long robes. The artist had done a pretty good job of drawing something quite unfamiliar. And in case there was any doubt, you only had to look at what was on their heads.

“Yeah. We call them The Pointy-Heads,” said the kangaroo.

MEANING THAT THE WIZARDS FROM UNSEEN UNIVERSITY TRAVELED BACK IN TIME. MEANING THAT RINCEWIND’S ARRIVAL IN XXXX PRECIPITATED THEM LOOKING FOR HIM TO TAKE THE LIBRARIAN’S PLACE, MEANING THEY ENDED UP SEEKING OUT THE GEOGRAPHY PROFESSOR, MEANING THAT SOMEHOW THEY GET OFF THAT ISLAND AND MAKE IT TO XXXX AND OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

Well, this book just got a thousand times more interesting.

Mark Links Stuff

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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