In the fourteenth part ofÂ Feet of Clay, EVERYTHING IS COMING TOGETHER AND Iâ€™M SO CLOSE. Intrigued? Then itâ€™s time for Mark to readÂ Discworld.Â
I actually misinterpreted the intentions of Mrs. Palm, Mr. Boggis, and Dr. Downey. In my head, the three of them were headed to Vimesâ€™s office toÂ plantÂ evidence, not to find it. Of course, that means Iâ€™ve got to re-evaluate this scene:Â Who sent them there?Â Who wrote the guild leaders and told them that Vimes was the killer?
IÂ did, however, vocalize my other theory: that somehow, someone had planted arsenic on Vimes andÂ heÂ was unknowingly poisoning the Vetinari. Who would suspect that? Who would think to examine the investigator on the case? NOT ME. But the explanation for all of this â€“ which is almost entirely laid out in this section â€“ is both simpler than this and more complicated. Itâ€™s more complicated because Iâ€™ve got most of the pieces os the puzzle assembled, enough that I can make out what the picture is supposed to be of. But I havenâ€™t found the pieces to link it as one unified portrait, you know?
At the same time, I had actually gotten a few things right, and the celebration can commence now:
â€œThe golems made it themselves, I think. But of course they needed a priest for the words and they had to borrow Mr. Hopkinsonâ€™s oven. I expect the old men thought it would be interesting. They were historians, after all.â€
Carrot says it so plainly, HOW DARE YOU. This was a complicated thing for me to figure out!!! I demand respect for the rare accomplishment Iâ€™ve made!!!
â€œI mean they drove it mad, sir. The other golems. They didnâ€™t mean to, but it was built-in, sir. They wanted it to do so many things. It was theirâ€¦ child, I think. All their hopes and dreams. And when they found out itâ€™d been killing peopleâ€¦ well, thatâ€™sÂ terribleÂ to a golem. They mustnâ€™t kill, and it was theirÂ own clayÂ doing it â€“â€œ
WOW. THERE IT IS. It filled in nearly every gap left in the golemâ€™s story. So the golemâ€™s creation (which is Meshugah, right???) kills Hopkinson and Tubelcek, filling the other golems with guilt and shame, correct? Which causes all ofÂ themÂ to act out, since it was made of their clayÂ andÂ they can sense what their creation did. I thought this plot was completely wrapped up until Cheri unknowingly opened it back up again just minutes later:
â€œDangerous stuff,â€ said Vimes.
â€œNot good at all, sir. But useful, sir,â€ said Cheri. â€œTanners, dyers, paintersâ€¦ Itâ€™s not just prisoners thatâ€™ve got a use for arsenic.â€
â€œIâ€™m surprise people arenâ€™t dropping dead of it all the time,â€ said Vimes.
â€œOh, most of them use golems, sirâ€“â€œ
OH MY GOD. HOW MANY GUILDS HAVE GOLEMS. HOW MANY OF THEM COULD HAVE GOTTEN A GOLEM NEAR VETINARI. What about the arsenic rats??? Oh shit, Iâ€™m so close, I AM SO CLOSE.
Something we donâ€™t see,Â thought Vimes.Â Something invisible. No, it wouldnâ€™t have to be invisible. Something we donâ€™t see because itâ€™s always there. Something that strikes in the nightâ€¦
CANDLES CANDLES CANDLES. IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE THEY WOULDNâ€™T BE USED DURING THE DAY, SO YOU WOULDNâ€™T â€œSEEâ€ THEM. I HAVE TO BE RIGHTÂ I HAVE BEEN TOO PUBLICLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS THEORY TO BE WRONG. Please donâ€™t embarrass me, Pratchett.
WHAT THE HELL, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???
Wee Mad Arthur looked down. â€œDâ€™yez believe in that reincarnation stuff, Mr. Colon?â€ he said.
â€œYou wouldnâ€™t get me touching that foreign muck,â€ said Colon.
â€œWell, itâ€™s putting itself together. Like one of them jiggling saw puzzles.â€
!!!!!!!! HOW CAN MESHUGAH DO THIS. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS.
So, that whole sequence was very strange, but I enjoyed it. I donâ€™t know what will come of it, though. Has Dorfl fully realized what freedom means? Is that a good or a bad thing? (A good thing, Iâ€™d argue.) Regardless, I appreciated the slight change in Pratchettâ€™s style for this sequence; it was refreshing and a lovely surprise.
Just kidding, NOBBYâ€™S REACTION TO BEING OFFERED THE ROLE OF KING IS THE MOST SURPRISING THING HERE. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE IMAGE OF HIM PLUNGING HEAD-FIRST OUT OF A WINDOW AND LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY AT THE SUGGESTION. IT IS THE BEST ANSWER POSSIBLE TO THE QUESTION OF WHETHER OR NOT NOBBY WILL REIGN.
Now that their planâ€™s fallen apart, what will these people do???
Diane Duane is still offering a massive discount on the first 9 books in theÂ Young WizardsÂ series just to this community, so please take advantage of this deal while you still can:
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