Mark Reads ‘Feet of Clay’: Part 14

In the fourteenth part of Feet of Clay, EVERYTHING IS COMING TOGETHER AND I’M SO CLOSE. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld. 

Accusations

I actually misinterpreted the intentions of Mrs. Palm, Mr. Boggis, and Dr. Downey. In my head, the three of them were headed to Vimes’s office to plant evidence, not to find it. Of course, that means I’ve got to re-evaluate this scene: Who sent them there? Who wrote the guild leaders and told them that Vimes was the killer?

I did, however, vocalize my other theory: that somehow, someone had planted arsenic on Vimes and he was unknowingly poisoning the Vetinari. Who would suspect that? Who would think to examine the investigator on the case? NOT ME. But the explanation for all of this – which is almost entirely laid out in this section – is both simpler than this and more complicated. It’s more complicated because I’ve got most of the pieces os the puzzle assembled, enough that I can make out what the picture is supposed to be of. But I haven’t found the pieces to link it as one unified portrait, you know?

At the same time, I had actually gotten a few things right, and the celebration can commence now:

“The golems made it themselves, I think. But of course they needed a priest for the words and they had to borrow Mr. Hopkinson’s oven. I expect the old men thought it would be interesting. They were historians, after all.”

Carrot says it so plainly, HOW DARE YOU. This was a complicated thing for me to figure out!!! I demand respect for the rare accomplishment I’ve made!!!

“I mean they drove it mad, sir. The other golems. They didn’t mean to, but it was built-in, sir. They wanted it to do so many things. It was their… child, I think. All their hopes and dreams. And when they found out it’d been killing people… well, that’s terrible to a golem. They mustn’t kill, and it was their own clay doing it –“

WOW. THERE IT IS. It filled in nearly every gap left in the golem’s story. So the golem’s creation (which is Meshugah, right???) kills Hopkinson and Tubelcek, filling the other golems with guilt and shame, correct? Which causes all of them to act out, since it was made of their clay and they can sense what their creation did. I thought this plot was completely wrapped up until Cheri unknowingly opened it back up again just minutes later:

“Dangerous stuff,” said Vimes.

“Not good at all, sir. But useful, sir,” said Cheri. “Tanners, dyers, painters… It’s not just prisoners that’ve got a use for arsenic.”

“I’m surprise people aren’t dropping dead of it all the time,” said Vimes.

“Oh, most of them use golems, sir–“

oh.

………………

OH.

OH MY GOD. HOW MANY GUILDS HAVE GOLEMS. HOW MANY OF THEM COULD HAVE GOTTEN A GOLEM NEAR VETINARI. What about the arsenic rats??? Oh shit, I’m so close, I AM SO CLOSE.

Something we don’t see, thought Vimes. Something invisible. No, it wouldn’t have to be invisible. Something we don’t see because it’s always there. Something that strikes in the night…

CANDLES CANDLES CANDLES. IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE THEY WOULDN’T BE USED DURING THE DAY, SO YOU WOULDN’T “SEE” THEM. I HAVE TO BE RIGHT I HAVE BEEN TOO PUBLICLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS THEORY TO BE WRONG. Please don’t embarrass me, Pratchett.

Meshugah

WHAT THE HELL, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???

Wee Mad Arthur looked down. “D’yez believe in that reincarnation stuff, Mr. Colon?” he said.

“You wouldn’t get me touching that foreign muck,” said Colon.

“Well, it’s putting itself together. Like one of them jiggling saw puzzles.”

!!!!!!!! HOW CAN MESHUGAH DO THIS. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS.

Dorfl

So, that whole sequence was very strange, but I enjoyed it. I don’t know what will come of it, though. Has Dorfl fully realized what freedom means? Is that a good or a bad thing? (A good thing, I’d argue.) Regardless, I appreciated the slight change in Pratchett’s style for this sequence; it was refreshing and a lovely surprise.

Nobbs

Just kidding, NOBBY’S REACTION TO BEING OFFERED THE ROLE OF KING IS THE MOST SURPRISING THING HERE. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE IMAGE OF HIM PLUNGING HEAD-FIRST OUT OF A WINDOW AND LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY AT THE SUGGESTION. IT IS THE BEST ANSWER POSSIBLE TO THE QUESTION OF WHETHER OR NOT NOBBY WILL REIGN.

Now that their plan’s fallen apart, what will these people do???

Diane Duane is still offering a massive discount on the first 9 books in the Young Wizards series just to this community, so please take advantage of this deal while you still can:

http://bit.ly/markreadsYW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8e4EAEmEFI

Mark Links Stuff

– I am now on Patreon! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards.
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– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next Double Features for Mark Watches have been announced here.
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