Mark Reads ‘Feet of Clay’: Part 3

In the third part of Feet of Clay, murders are investigated, Vimes is rejected, and Nobbs is not who we think he is. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld

This book is already hilarious and entertaining. LET’S DO THIS.

Coat of Arms

Well, this took a twist, didn’t it? Pratchett makes a ton of jokes and puns and introduces us to the King of Arms, a vampire named Dragon (I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP AT ALL, OH MY GOD), and then drops a massive reveal about Corporal Nobbs.

One thing at a time, though. The more I think about it, the more tickled I am by the fact that a vampire is head of the College of Heralds. Who else would be able to literally remember all of the different bloodlines and pedigrees than a being who can live indefinitely? I wonder how Dragon became a vampire. ANYWAY, Dragon delivers some bad news to Vimes: he can’t get a coat of arms. Good news: Because he already has one! Worst news: it was permanently destroyed because his ancestor, Old Stoneface, murdered the last king of Ankh-Morpork. I keep trying to remember if this story was referenced in Men at Arms, but I don’t think it was. So, all we know at this point is that the king was a “monster,” someone who had something down in the basement that inspired Stoneface to execute him because no one would take him to court.

So, no coat of arms for Vimes, despite that his made me laugh a lot. But you know what’s even funnier? CORPORAL NOBBS GETS ONE. Why? Because he’s got a direct ancestor who was the illegitimate son of Edward St. John de Nobbes, the Earl of Ankh. Meaning that he’s the Earl of Ankh. CORPORAL NOBBS, THE POSSIBLE WORST CANDIDATE TO BE EARL OF ANYTHING. The irony, it hurts so much.

Angua and Carrot

I’m so glad that Angua is back, so of course, Pratchett had to include this line in his book:

And yet… and yet… you couldn’t help liking Carrot. Even people he was arresting liked Carrot. Even old ladies living in a permanent smell of fresh paint liked Carrot. She liked Carrot. A lot. Which was going to make leaving him all the harder.

Angua details her reasoning for it, and it’s heartbreaking. Carrot, lacking any irony or subtlety for the most part, has become obsessed with how other people view Angua. And I get it: he wants to protect her, and he wants her to be safe. But Angua experiences something here that I absolutely recognize. She’s part of a marginalized group within the Discworld, and she feels like she’s a burden. I KNOW THIS FEELING SO WELL, and it’s such a distressing thing to go through. Yes, it’s admirable that Carrot is trying, but I thought this line was really spot-on:

She could see it upsetting him. She could see the tensions building up, and he didn’t know how to deal with them.

No matter how hard Carrot might try at this, he’s not going to understand what this lived experience is like, and he doesn’t have the tools to cope with it. Thus, the tension Angua mentions. I’m hoping, then, that Pratchett finds a way to resolve this because I DON’T WANT ANGUA LEAVING.

Stray Clues

Okay, I’m going to try HARDER THAN EVER to figure out what’s going on. I AM. SO: Dragon is obsessed with lineage, which isn’t surprising at all. But why is he specifically interested in Carrot, Angua, and Nobbs? That can’t be a coincidence, can it?

I have no doubt that a golem killed Father Tubelcek, but I know no reason for why this would happen. What religion was he a priest of? Why would a golem kill him? How is this connected to Mr. Hopkinson? The white clay clue seems to be a huge thing, but I don’t know enough about the area around Ankh-Morpork to recognize where this clay might come from. Did the golem jump out the window? What does that note say? Why use old Klatchian? That can’t be a coincidence either!

I’M GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT AS BEST AS I CAN, I SWEAR.

Diane Duane is still offering a massive discount on the first 9 books in the Young Wizards series just to this community, so please take advantage of this deal while you still can:

http://bit.ly/markreadsYW

Mark Links Stuff

I am now on Patreon! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards.
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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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