Mark Reads ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’: Book Two, Chapter 1

In the first chapter of the second book of The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo’s rescue brings about a round of reunions that are both exciting and depressing. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Lord of the Rings.


Hello, info dump. How are you?


I reserve the right to be utterly wrong about all of this.
(That means this is rhetorical. For the love of Gandalf’s beard, do not answer any questions I pose.)

  • You know, I generally ignore any of the fringe and bizarre feedback I get for Mark Reads stuff; it’s not very often that I do get it, but sometimes, people feel compelled to spend ten minutes of their day sending me a condescending email or anonymously (of course it is always anonymous) sending me an Ask on my Tumblr account. (Which you are welcome to follow! Spoiler alert: I yell a lot and I act like a child. You’ve been warned.) About two weeks ago, someone thought it was totally necessary to send me an ask stating that I should go back and give people “real” reviews for every occurrence ever that I used a list format, because it wasn’t a real post and it’s not fair.
  • I’ll let that sink in for a while.
  • Still weird, isn’t it?
  • Let’s ignore the idea of someone telling another person how to write their own blog.
  • Let’s also ignore the fact that it’s been established for years that I am obsessed with lists and –
  • No, wait, we can’t ignore that. IT’S WHAT I DO. I DO IT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I LOVE LISTS.
  • On that note, these lists are meant to entertain y’all with my thoughts, but that is not their primary purpose: They help me organize thoughts. And look, the fact that hundreds of thousands and millions of people read my garbage and totally love it is such a flattering, amazing thing to me, and I’m way into that. But when I write these reviews, my primary focus is to sort out my own thoughts on what I’ve just read. In particularly dense chapters (like this one), my goal is not to tell you what happened in The Fellowship of the Ring. Y’all already know! Unless someone’s using these like Cliff Notes??? OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.
  • The only reason I wanted to bring this up is just to publicly state that this is not an attempt by me to cut corners, to haphazardly and rapidly assemble a post just to be done with it, nor is it because I’m lazy. I don’t have a visually-strong brain, and writing things down like this helps me retain information. It’s how I studied in high school and college, too, and I am desperately trying to keep myself prepared for The Lord of the Rings.
  • Actually, on that same note as well, I think this book will be the most difficult (aside from A Song of Ice and Fire) to be prepared for because it’s so unbelievably complex. I’m actually loving this fact, honestly, and the density of Tolkien’s novel is not off-putting to me at all.
  • This might be the longest I’ve ever gone on a tangent in a list. Mark your calendars. This date’ll go down in history.
  • OKAY FOR REAL NOW: We learn Gandalf is alive! And watching Frodo sleep like some proto-Edward Cullen.
  • Frodo wakes up on the day after my birthday!
  • Everyone else survived!
  • This is off to a really good start!
  • “And you are lucky to be here, too, after all the absurd things you have done since you left home.’ LOL GANDALF, YOU ARE ONE SASSY LITTLE BISCUIT. I love it.
  • Oh, right, Gandalf was missing for so long because he was held captive. Well, shit, that’s unexpected.
  • So I was right (FOR ONCE): the Black Riders are the Nine. But I learn their official title and what they actually are: they’re RINGWRAITHS. So they possess those rings and it turned them into wraiths? SWEET SUMMER CHILD HELP ME
  • Aragorn is actually descended from the Men of the West! Wait….I don’t really know what that means. I forgot the significance of this WOOPS.
  • The reason Frodo’s arm was so bad was because there was a splinter of the blade in his shoulder. NOPE NOT A FAN OF THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD. Splinters alone are already one of life’s great tragedies and evidence that there is no god watching over us, but SPLINTERS OF METAL STUCK INSIDE SOMEONE’S SHOULDER? No. Just NO.
  • There’s a thing called a Morgul-knife and it’s a big pile of NO. Because not only is it a knife, IT MAKES YOU SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE RINGWRAITHS’ POWER.
  • Oh, and then you’d become a ringwraith. what is this book.
  • They ride real horses! The ringwraiths, I mean.
  • The figure lit in white light at the end of Book One was actually Glorfindel. DUDE HAS POWERS!
  • Elrond commanded the flood that swept the Black Riders away. NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING.
  • Gandalf made the waves look like white figures on white horses. NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING.
  • OMG, for real, it’s so cool to be back at the Last Homely House.
  • Pippin is still my favorite hobbit. THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED TODAY.
  • We meet someone named Arwen, who is Elrond’s daughter, and she’s pretty and it’s one of only a few women around. Hopefully, she’ll play a bigger part? I don’t even know at this point.
  • Glóin is still alive AND HE IS AT THE FEAST. Whoa, that is definitely something I didn’t expect at all.
  • Dáin is still King under the Mountain!
  • Dwalin, Dori, Nori, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur are all still alive as well!!! OMG MAYBE THEY’LL COME ON THE ADVENTURE.
  • Balin, Ori, and Óin are all missing. Sadfaces abound!
  • I would be such a douche in the Hall of Fire because I would probably fall asleep. LOOK I CAN’T HELP IT.
  • NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! I thought we would never see Bilbo again. THIS IS SO WONDERFUL.
  • Aragorn is also known as Dúnadan. He has too many names.
  • Bilbo went on a journey to Dale with the dwarves!
  • Oh god, the Ring is still creepy as fuck. WHAT WAS THAT SHADOW THAT APPEARED?
  • Oh my god this song is so long.
  • Oh my god, I just turned the page and it’s still going.
  • Okay, what the hell is up with Elbereth? Who is that? How come Frodo is so…well, I don’t want to say “obsessed” because that’s not the right word. But he used that name before in the Dell, and it seems to hold some strange power.
  • Um, what is that weird moment between Frodo and Lady Arwen???

OH GOD THERE ARE MEETINGS NEXT. I expect tons of info-dumping. Bring it, Tolkien.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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481 Responses to Mark Reads ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’: Book Two, Chapter 1

  1. Tauriel_ says:

    And another song rendering from the Poetic Fellowship:

    Snow-white with the added Sindarin verse that appears in this chapter

    And here is another song from them, called "Imladris" (which is the Elvish name for Rivendell). It's not canon, only inspired by Tolkien's writings, but it's not spoilery and I quite like it, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. 🙂 It's in Czech, so here's the (quick and rough) translation:


    I knew a place in mountains, where air was clear and fair,
    There is no other place on Earth to which it can compare.
    Time stood there, like forest pool whose depth you cannot measure,
    And in that timeless time and in the woods of joy and pleasure,
    There lived a people once, and if I said I loved them not,
    Then I would have to lie to you, my friends, right here on this spot.

    A mere reflection of a distant land with sunny mornings –
    And here the gifts of years eternal are given with a mourning.
    With the peace of Elven days, a living land is rising,
    That fights with Time for its own time, and all the time is singing,
    And stamps its feet in its own dance, the fires burn in smithies,
    And in the eyes, that timeless pool, there grows a desire for seas…

    Let it rise, young Imladris, and dance in twilight groves,
    For tomorrow it shall read the stars and dance in different world.
    And from its smithies let there come swords powerful and bright,
    Tomorrow with the evil dark will fade even their light.
    And so will end those few paths that joined morning to the world,
    I cannot step on other ones, for they end in a hidden world…

    • flootzavut says:

      You are the linguist of linguists *bows*

      I love the name Rivendell but actually I think I slightly prefer Imladris. There's something terribly satisfying about that name, it feeeeels good to say!

  2. Inseriousity. says:

    I love the lists. It's such an easy way to organise what you're thinking and we also get to LOL at the tangents you seem to love. Long live the lists!

  3. Tauriel_ says:

    Tauriel's Linguistic Corner

    I confess I didn't have much time to prepare (this time I'm actually glad for WordPress delaying the new review 😀 ), so I'll cheat a bit and copy the translation of the A Elbereth Gilthoniel song from Ardalambion, an awesome website dedicated to Tolkien's languages. This is also because the song is in Sindarin, and I'm not as knowledgeable about it than I am about Quenya.

    A Elbereth Gilthoniel,
    silivren penna míriel
    o menel aglar elenath!
    Na-chaered palan-díriel
    galadhremmin ennorath,
    Fanuilos, le linnathon
    nef aear, sí nef aearon!

    "O Elbereth Starkindler,
    white-glittering, sparkling like jewels
    the glory of the starry host slants down.
    Having gazed far away
    from the tree-woven lands of Middle-earth,
    to thee, Everwhite, I will sing,
    on this side of the Sea, here on this side of the Ocean!"

    And here are the translations of some the names in the poem about Eärendil:

    Eärendil – Lover of the Sea ("eär" – "sea"; "dil" or "endil" is a male name ending meaning "lover" or "friend")
    Elwing – Star-spray ("el" – "star"; "wing" – "spray", "foam", referring to water)
    Tarmenel – High heavens ("tar" – "high" or "lofty"; "menel" – "sky", "heavens")
    Eldamar – Elvenhome ("Elda" – "Elf"; "mar" – "home")
    Tirion – Great Watch-tower (from "tir-" – "watch")
    Calacirya – Cleft of Light ("cal-" – "shine"; "kir-" – "cut", "cleave")

  4. Hanah says:

    Ugh people WHY ARE YOU SO STRANGE? I cannot wrap my brain around anyone telling someone else how to run their own site. I even more cannot wrap my brain around someone telling you to stop using lists because WHAT NO THEY ARE SOME OF MY FAVOURITE KINDS OF YOUR POSTS. I am a list FIEND. Lists lists lists I spend more time making lists of stuff than actually doing any of the stuff on my lists and that is a true fact.

    I cannot really remember this chapter, because I think I was overwhelmed by a) the unexpected and glorious return of Bilbo (love you Bilbo!) and b) that poem. I am a massive, massive fan of poetry but Tolkein, mate. These are the things which appendices are for. I am a massive, massive fan of appendices for awesome cool stuff which is not in any way actually relevant to progressing the plot. But the poem is there and it's a cool poem even if it's too long for me to remember pretty much anything else going down in this chapter, and I guess I just have to accept that.

    • @ljrTR says:

      I like the lists too

    • Stephen_M says:

      Have to say i disagree in this case about the song (uh, I assume you mean the very long song that Bilbo sings here, I seem to rememeber there's one other poem / song but we only get a few lines of that). Two reasons:

      1) It fits in the setting and helps build the atmosphere just as well as a descriptive section of the room, ambiance, feelings of characters etc.

      2) I'm skirting spoilerville here but I think it's not giving anything away to say that this isn't just a random piece of text. Tolkien picked the subject matter here very carefully and, while you don't loose anything by skipping over it, it does help tie a huge chunk of history together if you delve deeply into that side of his writing.

      • Hanah says:

        It has been a while since I read it so I cannot remember the details, only that it was LONG. And I remember as I was reading it all I was thinking was 'this is a very cool poem (/song/whatever you want to call it) but can it please end soon so that we can get back to things happening?' As I say I can't remember the details of this specific poem but I think just based on the fact that you don't lose anything by skipping over it there are grounds to put it in an appendix instead. Obviously that is not how Things Are Done in Tolkien's work and I resigned myself to it long ago (it's not like it's terrible poetry or the rest of his writing doesn't massively make up for the long time it takes to read all of it) but if it doesn't definitively add something but is still interesting and potentially adds more information if you're into the history then it should go in an appendix.

        But then I am an appendix fiend as well as a list fiend. I'm currently finishing up my dissertation and as it stands there are four appendices!

    • Rheinman says:

      Seriously. There used to be a thing called gratitide that is now in short supply. We're not paying for the privilege of reading this blog, were just here for mutual apprecation of the art. If the way Mark expresses that offends the trolls, they should go spend their leisure time elsewhere, or get their own damn blog.

      I'm waiting for a top ten list of the reasons one doesn't simply walk into Mordor.

      This reminds me of the people who troll GRR Martin for not being locked in a cell to finish his series in a timely manner. Migod, do some people have a skewed sense of entitlement, or what?

  5. @ljrTR says:

    omg Mark, if you thought THIS was an infodump….

    yeah. Gandalf held captive. Whoa.

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:


      • Jenny_M says:

        Yby naq nf V cbvagrq bhg orybj Gbyxvra fcraqf n tbbq ovg bs vg tbvat "unun nera'g lbh tynq V'z yrnivat nyy gurfr cnegf bhg VG PBHYQ OR YBATRE, L'NYY!!!!"

        • @silmerin says:

          Ubj onq vf vg gung gung'f hfhnyyl ubj V raq zl bireyl pbzcyvpngrq fgbevrf zbfg gvzrf fbzr cbbe, haxabjvat fbhy nfxf n fvzcyr Gbyxvra-eryngrq dhrfgvba? V zrna, gung'f cerggl onq, evtug?

      • knut_knut says:

        Vg'f yvxr gur raretvmre ohaal bs puncgref. Vg whfg xrrcf tbvat naq tbvat naq tbvat…

      • echinodermata says:

        I'm so used to assuming you're psyching us out using gibberish and not actual rot13!

        • arctic_hare says:

          I KNOW! It is so weird seeing him actually use rot13!

          • bugeye says:

            Yeah, Info dumps, and dumps and dumps. And there are so many of us out there who thrive on this stuff. Page back and forth, have 6-12 books around us to double check each word or look. It is scary. I know all this, inside, outside upside down and I still geek out at it.

        • AmandaNekesa says:

          I know! I was reading this at work on my phone and when I saw Mark's rot13 I was like: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!! WHAT IS HE SAYING???? I can't decode that because my phone's a stupid face and after a system update I couldn't figure out how to copy large chunks of text on a page!!!

          Then…….I, well, figured out how to highlight large chunks of text on a page. :p

          Thank you, Mark, for being the motivation I needed to figure out my phone so that I can decode rot13!! 😀

      • Willow: I can't believe Mark is using rot13. My world is all askew!

        Xander: Mark's using rot13, Mark's talking about future chapters… That's not askew, that's cockeyed.

        Willow: Askew means cockeyed.

      • BetB says:

        Lrf-fverrr Obo! Abj lbh unir fybttrq guebhtu gur ovttrfg vasb-qhzc bs gurz nyy. V er-ernq guvf puncgre nyy gur gvzr orpnhfr vg vf gehyl ybnqrq jvgu zber vasbezngvba guna lbh pna funxr n fgvpx ng! V pna'g jnvg sbe Zbaqnl!

        That is so nice of you not to spoil the folks reading along with you! Very considerate!

      • flootzavut says:

        LOL no kidding. V guvax vg's snve gb fnl nyy gubfr jub ner er-ernqvat unir orra ybbxvat sbejneq gb gur "Ubyl Vasb Qhzc Ongzna!" glcr ernpgvba gb gung!

  6. PrefectSarah says:

    Mark, you don't need to explain your lists to us! We love them too!! 🙂

    I make lists constantly, and I actually LOVE when you do lists with your reviews. I'm sure many will agree with me. Right guys? Right.

  7. amyalices says:

    Aragorn is also known as Dúnadan. He has too many names.


    Do we need a tally chart yet?


  8. @stephen_g says:

    V srry fghcvq sbe abg ernyvmvat gur pnyy-onpx gb Znal Zrrgvatf juvyr V ernq Znal Cnegvatf va EBGX

    I remember thinking this was a good "breather" chapter after all that intense action. It certainly gives you plenty of time to breathe!

  9. Jenny_M says:

    Lol Bilbo trolls Aragorn so hard in this chapter, rfcrpvnyyl nobhg Nejra. Gandalf has taught him well.

    I think the sentences introducing Arwen are seriously some of the most beautiful prose that Tolkien employs in the books.

    I am an Arwen fangirl, y’all. V jnag gb cbfg n cvpgher bs Yvi Glyre orpnhfr V guvax fur ybbxf whfg yvxr gur qrfpevcgvba ohg V’z abg fher vs gung jbhyq or pbafvqrerq fcbvyrel be abg fb V’z abg tbvat gb. Bbcf.

    • @ljrTR says:

      V guvax gung jbhyq or dhvgr fcbvyrel. V qvq yvxr ure va gur ebyr.

      • Jenny_M says:

        Yeah we're allowed to post non-spoilery movie stuff but V guvax rira zragvbavat gung fur unf n ebyr va gur svyz jbhyq vaqvpngr gung fur'f na vzcbegnag punenpgre va gur shgher.

    • shortstuff says:

      Tynq gb frr gung Znex cvpxrq hc ba Nejra va guvf puncgre. Jura V er-ernq vg, rira xabjvat gung fur unf na vzcbegnag ebyr gb cynl, fur gbgnyyl frrzrq yvxr n onpxtebhaq punenpgre bs yvggyr fvtavsvpnapr. V QB yvxr ubj Ovyob gebyyf uvz, gubhtu. Yrnearq sebz gur znfgre!

  10. cait0716 says:

    Uryyb, vasb qhzc. Ubj ner lbh?

    Whfg trggvat fgnegrq.

    Never stop with the lists! I love the lists. And sometimes it is the only way to handle a chapter of a book or an episode of television.

    We get another official name for Aragorn in this chapter (I got confused and thought it was last chapter): Dunadan. He definitely has too many names. And this one feels like some pointless misdirection.

    That song was really long. And I don't know what happened. Look, I tried to read it. But I just got lost. The same thing happens with any epic poetry or even Shakespeare. I get so caught up in the rhythm of the words that I forget to focus on their meaning. This was a big problem in high school. But I read that song and I think I liked it. I just have a hard time remembering what it was about. But that seems to have been Frodo's experience, too. So maybe it's more authentic this way. I'm sure I could sit down and parse the poetry and understand everything. I'm also sure that many of you (::cough:: Tauriel ::cough::) already have and I'll probably rely on your cliff notes versions before going back to it again myself.

    My version of FotR has this cover (Not spoilery, just not sure about linking images I didn't actually post. Mods are free to change that if they want). For years, I thought the picture was of Tom Bombadil's house until someone pointed out that it was Rivendell. And that makes a lot more sense and I don't know why I didn't realize it before. But the point is, I want to live there.

  11. Aragorn is also known as Dúnadan. He has too many names.

    1. Strider
    2. Aragorn
    3. Dúnadan
    4. Hottie McSexypants
    5. I'm sure he'll get more

  12. rubyjoo says:

    No, Mark! Aragorn son of Arathorn/Strider/the Ranger/the Numenorean/the Man of the West is not Dunadan but THE Dunadan. Keep up there, LOL! Actually, seriously now, I think you've done a very good job of keeping up. A dense chapter? Just wait a bit.

  13. Stephen_M says:

    Something I love about this book thus far: Tolkien only hints at just how powerful some of these characters are. Aragorn, f'instance, effectively manages to drive off five of the nine by dual-weilding burning torches. Granted they had also decided to wait for the knife to do its work but the fact they were facing a severely pissed off Aragorn probably helped that decision along a tad.

    Glordfindel is another great one, a small role thus far and could so easily have been a plot device to bring a fast horse to the party for +5 runthefrakaway but with Frodo being able to see him much as the nine do at the ford we get a great insight into what the elves actually are under the songs and poetry.

    Also remember thinking when I first read this book that it was odd that Gandalf vanished for, effectively, most of the adventure until now. It wasn't until much later, probably when I was around 18, 19 years old and with a lot more reading under my belt, that I realised just how clever a device that is. Gandalf is the figure that makes both the characters and the reader feel safe. By taking him out in the way that Tolkien does he gives us a question (where the heck is he) and ups the danger levels. Then when we find out he was late because he was held captive it ups the danger level for the entire world AND gives another hint of the power he has (considering this is clearly not an everyday occurance even if we don't know exactly what happened yet).

  14. hpfish13 says:

    In honor of today's list post, I'm making one of my own (though it is a bit shorter

    1. How could anyone hate lists?
    2. Bilbo is back!!!!
    3. Whew! Everything is suddenly so much happier, and it is such a relief
    4. Rivendell is pretty
    <img src=""&gt;
    5. This is my first list post, and it was fun!

    • cait0716 says:

      Ah, that's the picture I sort-of, not really posted. It's the cover of my book and I spend a long time thinking it was Tom Bombadil's house. Oops.

      Hooray for lists!

    • James says:

      Zna, gurl anvyrq Eviraqryy va gur svyzf. Jbhyq vg or fcbvyrel gb cbfg n pbzcnengvir fperrapnc be abg? V'z abg fher jura vg pbzrf gb zbivr vzntrf :/

      • Jenny_M says:

        V guvax lbh'er fnsr nf ybat nf gurl'er aba-fcbvyrel, ohg zbfg crbcyr unir orra nibvqvat vg fb Znex pna rkcrevrapr gur…cerggl, funyy jr fnl, va yvir npgvba.

  15. roguebelle says:

    I only wish you could nest lists in blog entries like you can in Word. I think in the same way — bullet points help me, but you have no idea how ridiculously complex the nesting system can get when I'm left to my own devices. ;D

  16. plaidpants says:

    Lists! I love lists! I am glad you have refused to give in to the anti-list brigade (if there's ever such a thing). Anyway the nice thing about this chapter is that besides all the terrifying info we're given, there's not actually terrible things that happen and in fact we get good things – Gandalf is back, updates about our friends from the hobbits, good food, Bilbo!, dancing!, Sam while Frodo sleeps and then attempting to 'serve' him at the feast only to be told, nope the feast is for you too so sit there like an actual guest, Arwen, troll!Gandalf!

  17. Tauriel_ says:


    I'm not in a mood to write elaborate essays, so here's a LIST OF FEELINGS:

    – Yay, Frodo is alive!

    – YAY, GANDALF IS BACK!!! <3

    – Yay, Frodo is in the House of Elrond and has been cured and is getting better! 😀

    ‘Only a Ranger!’ cried Gandalf. ‘My dear Frodo, that is just what the Rangers are: the last remnant in the North of the great people, the Men of the West.

    Dúnedain. <3

    ‘I thought that I saw a white figure that shone and did not grow dim like the others. Was that Glorfindel then?’
    ‘Yes, you saw him for a moment as he is upon the other side: one of the mighty of the Firstborn. He is an Elf-lord of a house of princes.


    – LOL @ Gandalf adding "a few touches of his own" – just like he did when Bilbo disappeared during his birthday party! 😀 You just can't resist meddling in other people's magic, can you, Gandalf? 😀

    – Sam. <3 Loyal, faithful Sam. I love his views on Rivendell and the Elves.

    ‘Gandalf has been saying many cheerful things like that,’ said Pippin. ‘He thinks I need keeping in order.

    *snigger* Oh, Pippin. You are a Took, of course he thinks you need keeping in order! 😀 “Sbby bs n Gbbx,” erzrzore? 😀

    The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fulness of his strength. He was the Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men.

    I love, LOVE this description. <3

    So it was that Frodo saw her whom few mortals had yet seen; Arwen, daughter of Elrond, in whom it was said that the likeness of Lúthien had come on earth again; and she was called Undómiel, for she was the Evenstar of her people.

    ‘Where have you been, my friend? Why weren’t you at the
    feast? The Lady Arwen was there.’

    Elrond was in his chair and the fire was on his face like summer-light upon the trees. Near him sat the Lady Arwen. To his surprise Frodo saw that Aragorn stood beside her; his dark cloak was thrown back, and he seemed to be clad in elven-mail, and a star shone on his breast. They spoke together, and then suddenly it seemed to Frodo that Arwen turned towards him, and the light of her eyes fell on him from afar and pierced his heart.

    Qb lbh frr abj jul Nentbea fnat n fbat nobhg Yúguvra Gvaúivry? 😉

    ARWEN. <3 <3 <3 (Her name means "royal maiden" or "noble maiden".)

    BILBO!!! <3 <3 <3 I love that he's in Rivendell and honoured by the Elves (they even like his poetry, even though he's obviously no match for them).

    “Otherwise he obviously thought the whole thing rather above my head, and he said that if I had the cheek to make verses about Eärendil in the house of Elrond, it was my affair.”

    *snort* 😀 I love Aragorn’s dry sense of humour! 😀

    – GLÓIN!! 😀 😀 <3 Nice to see and remember the events of the Hobbit and catch up with the news of the lands where the story of the Hobbit took place. But I'm worried about Balin, Ori and Óin… 🙁

    Slowly he drew it out. Bilbo put out his hand. But Frodo quickly drew back the Ring. To his distress and amazement he found that he was no longer looking at Bilbo; a shadow seemed to have fallen between them, and through it he found himself eyeing a little wrinkled creature with a hungry face and bony groping hands. He felt a desire to strike him.

    Oh, man, the Ring STILL has some power over Bilbo! 🙁 It’s good that he quickly recovers, though. And this is the only thing that mars the positive and joyful atmosphere of this chapter.

    • wahlee says:

      Umm. Hinting at Nentbea naq Nejra'f eryngvbafuvc is spoilery. Mark didn't pick up on it, and that plot point isn't fully revealed until RotK. So.

      • shortstuff says:

        Nterrq. Ur cebonoyl qbrfa'g rira erzrzore gur fbat bs Orera naq Yhguvra, ur gubhtug vg jnf *bayl* n qvfgenpgvba sbe gur Evqref nggnpxvat ng Jrnguregbc. Creuncf n Zbq pbhyq ebg-13 gung yvggyr cneg?

      • Tauriel_ says:

        You're right, and it's now rot13'd, thanks to monkeybutter. 🙂

    • monkeybutter says:

      Edited your comment. 🙂

    • Ian says:

      The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young

      Naq gung'f jul V'z abg irel sbaq bs Uhtb Jrnivat va gur zbivrf. Ur'f n terng npgbe ohg zna, ntryrff snpr ur vf abg.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        V'z jvgu lbh gurer. Uvf vf gur bayl znwbe pnfgvat gung xvaq bs tengrf ba zr – V xrrc frrvat uvz nf Ntrag Fzvgu.

        "Jrypbzr gb Eviraqryy, Ze. Naqrefba… ree, Onttvaf." 😀

  18. Darth_Ember says:

    I think the crowning moment of this review may be referring to Gandalf as a ‘sassy little biscuit.’ I am reasonably sure no-one has uttered that description of him before anywhere. Ever.

    • shortstuff says:

      Erzvaqvat Znex bs fbzrguvat gung ur'f ernq orsber naq cbvagvat bhg vg'f fvtavsvpnapr vf pbafvqrerq n fcbvyre ba guvf fvgr! Ur fcrpvsvpnyyl fnlf ur jnagf gb svther guvatf bhg sbe uvzfrys.

  19. @ljrTR says:

    forgot to say in my comment – I think Sam is the true proto-Edward Cullen here.

    • rabidsamfan says:

      Yes, since Gandalf had only just sent him off to get some sleep and it's been how many days?

    • Parmadil says:

      AAHH!!! My brain just exploded trying to reconcile those two… I hesitate to use the word "literary worlds" when referring to Twilight… *brainy gore splatters on the walls*

  20. Tauriel_ says:

    Hello, info dump. How are you?

    *snort* Dear Mark, STILL NOT PREPARED. 😀 😀 😀

  21. Tauriel_ says:


    Fuck the haters. I love your lists, too. <3

    Who's with me?

  22. knut_knut says:

    In the middle of the table, against the woven cloths upon the wall, there was a chair under a canopy, and there sat a lady fair to look upon…
    Every time I read this I always think she’s literally in the middle of the table- like they cut a hole for her to sit in and everyone eats around her. I get creeped out and then realize, no, she’s not some table decoration, she’s just sitting at the halfway point -_-

    You should see the waterways of Dale, Frodo, and the fountains, and the pools! You should see the stone-paved roads of many colours!
    It’s the Emerald City! Or the Capitol?

    Except that Aragorn insisted on my putting in a green stone. He seemed to think it important.
    Jul qvq ur vafvfg ba chggvat guvf va? V pna’g erzrzore vs vg’f vzcbegnag be abg.

    • Jenny_M says:

      He has a degree in interior design from Dunedan State and he doesn't want it to go to waste.

    • jhensle4384 says:

      V oryvrir vg vf n ersrerapr gb gur Rys fgbar gung orpbzrf uvf gbxra naq uvf anzr nf Xvat… Ryrffne = Rysfgbar.

    • monkeybutter says:

      Definitely the Emerald City. I keep seeing similarities between LOTR and The Wizard of Oz! Frodo is our Dorothy, they both have three goofy but lovable companions, the ring is the ruby slippers, they're…on a road? Gurer ner svtugvat gerrf, gur Jvpxrq Jvgpu bs gur Jrfg unf n cnynagve, gur sylvat zbaxrlf ner gur anmthy.

      Hmm. All we need is someone to spray paint LBH FUNYY ABG CNFF on that railroad bridge on the beltway.

    • shortstuff says:

      Jnf gur terra fgbar n Fvyznevy? Qvqa'g gurl trg bar onpx naq gurl hfrq vg ba uvf fuvc, naq ur syvrf npebff gur fxl jvgu vg rirel avtug? Zl zrzbel vf fbegn shmml.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        LOL, no! 😀 Ol guvf gvzr, gjb bs gur Fvyznevyf jrer ybfg (Znrquebff whzcrq vagb n ibypnab jvgu bar, naq Zntybe guerj nabgure bar vagb gur frn) naq bar jnf znqr vagb n fgne (Räeraqvy pneevrf vg va uvf fuvc). Cyhf, gur Fvyznevyf jrer fuvavat jvgu fvyirel-tbyqra yvtug bs gur Gjb Gerrf, gurl qvqa'g unir nal cnegvphyne pbybhe.

  23. cait0716 says:

    And at 30+ pages I'm glad Mark managed to schedule that one over the weekend. It won't quite fit into my morning commute

  24. Tauriel_ says:

    Aragorn is also known as Dúnadan. He has too many names.

    THE Dúnadan, Mark, THE Dúnadan. Haven't you listened to Bilbo? Tsk, tsk. :p

  25. monkeybutter says:

    List posts are great. They're an excellent way of making sense of things, I love the comedic beat between the lines, and there's always tons of glorious capslocking. The idea of someone using your reviews as Cliff's Notes and failing English because of a list post is pretty hilarious to me, too. (GOD, WHERE IS THE ANALYSIS OF BILBO'S POEM? I NEED AN EXAMPLE OF A SIMILE AND A METAPHOR BEFORE 4TH PERIOD!)


    Bombur was now so fat that he could not move himself from his couch to his chair at table, and it took six young dwarves to lift him.

    <img src=""&gt;
    BOMBUR! He will outlive us all.

    As for my other favorite, Sam:

    At that moment there was a knock on the door, and Sam came in. He ran to Frodo and took his left hand, awkwardly and shyly. He stroked it gently and then he blushed and turned hastily away.

    Tolkien is totally writing hobbit slashfic.

  26. Araniapriime says:

    Isn't this chapter the one where Sam enters Frodo's room and takes his hand because he's so glad Frodo is better?


  27. rachel6521 says:

    I was just wondering this after your post. Concerning the Morgul-Knife and weird monsters and stuff.

    In European literature ( especially medieval lit. such as: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Le Morte d'Arthur, Beowulf etc.) these kind of objects are very common. I'm just wondering if people from Europe take a lot more things for granted because the literature we read in school has all kinds of weird monsters and wraiths and stuff like swords with venom ectc.. Also, Tolkien was an expert on these poems/works. Cause when I read you thoughts on the splinter in Frodo's shoulder and it's effect I didn't realise it could be something so completely new to you.

    I cannot tell you if these thoughts are legit, but I just wanted to share 🙂

    ALSO: I love that you really had no idea we'd see Bilbo again! I KNEW you would like it!

    • calimie says:

      I remember how much I squeed everytime I read "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight by Tolkien" at the University library.

  28. clodia_risa says:

    Silly anony-mice. They must secretly love lists for, as everyone knows, telling a blogger/webcomic creator/any human being ever that they should stop doing This and instead do That will only make them do This all the more. We should thank them for their sacrifice in ensuring more list-format posts.

  29. Tauriel_ says:

    Before there's any Arwen-bashing (I dare you! *brandishes Hagrid's pink umbrella*), I want to point out that it's not just her beauty that's praised here:

    yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring.

    She's both beautiful AND wise and experienced. And queenly.

  30. echinodermata says:

    I love this chapter! And mostly, I love Hobbits. They are the greatest. y'all. But Sam is the best and just, look at his loyalty and love for Frodo! I cannot love him more.

    Gandalf's back!
    Bilbo's back!

    AHH everything is beautiful.

    And so are lists, wtf. I love list reviews.

    And lastly, a bit of rot13:
    "Jr zrrg fbzrbar anzrq Nejra, jub vf Ryebaq’f qnhtugre, naq fur’f cerggl naq vg’f bar bs bayl n srj jbzra nebhaq. Ubcrshyyl, fur’yy cynl n ovttre cneg? V qba’g rira xabj ng guvf cbvag."

    ununununun. Naq gung'f jul V'z gbgnyyl pbby jvgu ure ovttre cneg va gur zbivrf.

    • Jenny_M says:

      Vg'f npghnyyl bar bs gur ernfbaf V jnag Znex gb jngpu gur zbivrf orgjrra rnpu obbx, orpnhfr Nejra naq Nentbea znxrf FB ZHPU ZBER FRAFR vs gurve fgbel vf vagregjvarq nf bccbfrq gb orvat eryrtngrq gb gur nccraqvk nsgrejneqf.

      • wahlee says:

        So you WANT Mark to be spoiled, then. Fabulous.

        • Jenny_M says:

          Well, gosh, no, I don't want that. Nejra naq Nentbea qba'g trg zhpu qrirybczrag va gur obbxf, gubhtu gur pyhrf ner gurer. V whfg yvxr gur snpg gung gur zbivr znxrf gur fhogrkg zber boivbhf. Vg qbrfa'g fcbvy znwbe cybgf, naq vg'f abg yvxr V'z fnlvat…bbu tbfu V ubcr Znex jngpurf Sryybjfuvc orsber ernqvat Gur Gjb Gbjref orpnhfr V ernyyl jnag uvz gb svaq bhg Obebzve qvrf orsber vg unccraf va grkg!!!!

          • wahlee says:

            Ab, gurl qba'g trg zhpu qrirybczrag va gur obbxf, juvpu vf cerpvfryl gur cbvag. Vs ur jngpurf gur zbivrf svefg, ur'f tbvat gb or ernyyl pbashfrq, orpnhfr gb fbzrbar jub unf ernq gur svefg obbx ohg abg gur ynfg pbhcyr, vg jbhyq frrz yvxr vg'f pbzvat bhg bs abjurer. Naq gura nf ur ernqf gur erfg bs gur obbxf, ur'f tbvat gb or ybbxvat sbe pyhrf naq uvagf naq trggvat sehfgengrq gung gurer fvzcyl nera'g irel znal. Orggre gb or noyr gb rawbl gur zbivrf sbe jung gurl ner naq gur obbxf sbe jung gurl ner.

            • Jenny_M says:

              LZZI, naq gung'f svar. V whfg qvqa'g yvxr vg orvat vzcyvrq gung V jnf gelvat gb fcbvy Znex jura gung'f gur ynfg guvat V jnag gb qb.

              • wahlee says:

                V zvtug unir chg vg gbb oyhagyl, naq sbe gung V ncbybtvmr, ohg gung ernyyl vf jung lbh jrer vzcylvat– lbh jnagrq Znex gb jngpu gur zbivrf svefg fb ur pbhyq frr guvatf gung nera'g zragvbarq hagvy gur irel raq bs gur obbxf. Naq V ernyyl pna frr jurer lbh'er pbzvat sebz. Vs ur'q jngpurq gur zbivrf jvgubhg ernqvat nal bs gur obbxf, V'q nterr jvgu lbh. Ohg fvapr ur'f ernqvat gur obbxf univat arire frra gur zbivrf, vg ernyyl jbhyq or orggre (rfcrpvnyyl jvgu uvf fgngrq naq fgevatrag fcbvyre cbyvpl) gb ernq nyy gur obbxf naq gura jngpu nyy gur zbivrf.

              • AmandaNekesa says:

                I totally get where you're coming from and, since it sounds like Mark's still going to go ahead and watch the FotR movie after reading the book FotR (and some of TTT), I didn't see it as a desire to spoil Mark. Gur Nejra/Nentbea fgbelyvar nqqf n ybg gb gur zbgvingvbaf bs Nentbea, naq V nyjnlf jvfu gurer jnf fbzr jnl vg pbhyq unir orra vapyhqrq va gur znva fgbel. While I wish he would wait to watch the movies until he finishes the books, I haven't seen any indication from him that he's changed his movie-watching schedule.

                With that in mind, vg jvyy ng yrnfg znxr gur jubyr Rbjla/Nentbea guvat znxr n ovg zber frafr, fvapr Nentbea ybirf Nejra. Gurer ner fhogyr uvagf urer naq gurer, ohg vg'f fbzrguvat gung'f uneq sbe n svefg-gvzr ernqre gb cvpx hc ba, naq V pna vzntvar Znex'f pbashfvba jura Nejra fhqqrayl zneevrf Nentbea va EbgX. I'm torn both ways, basically.

      • Dreamflower says:

        Jryy, va fbzr jnlf Nejra jnf na nsgregubhtug– va cybg bhgyvarf naq ebhtu abgrf, WEEG bevtvanyyl unq Nentbea ubbx hc jvgu Rbjla. Ohg gura ur gubhtug bs Nejra, naq bs oevatvat uvf zlgubybtl shyy pvepyr onpx gb Orera naq Yhguvra. Ohg gur bgure ernfba fur raqrq hc va gur Nccraqvkrf vf gung gur jubyr obbx vf zber be yrff sebz gur uboovgf CBIf, naq GURL qvqa'g xabj nobhg Nejra hagvy gur jrqqvat (gubhtu creuncf Sebqb zvtug unir thrffrq).

        (Npghnyyl, V unir zl bja gubhtugf ba Nentbea/Nejra naq Snenzve/Rbjla, naq vg vf pbzcyrgryl fgbel rkgreany. Snenzve jnf WEEG'f snibevgr punenpgre, naq gur bar jvgu jubz ur zbfg vqragvsvrq–fhpu nf tvivat Snenzve uvf bja qernzf bs gung jnir. Naq Snenzve naq Rbjla trg gur bayl *ebznagvp* xvff va gur ragver gevybtl. Gurl unq gur zbfg "uhzna" ebznapr, nf bccbfrq gb gur zbfg rcvp ebznapr. V guvax Snenzve jnf erjneqrq sbe rkvfgvat ol orvat tvira gur zbfg uhzna naq "erny" jbzna va gur fgbel.)

  31. sixth_queen says:

    Mark, PLEASE finish all three book before watching ANY of the movies!
    If you intercut the two, you might be so distracted by the differences between the books and moves that it will diminsh your enjoyment of both. You might also become hopelessly confused.
    To repeat: please finish the books first.
    No need to liveblog the movies yet. WE CAN WAIT.

    • @ljrTR says:

      YES! I cannot tell you how much I agree with this. The movies can wait. Please, Mark, have the true book experience first. I'm gonna be begging on my knees by the end of 'Fellowship', I tell you.

    • bookworm67 says:

      Please! It'll really just be so much better, spoilers and all.

      Plus then we can have a Lord of the Rings day and watch them all BACK TO BACK TO BACK for twelve hours straight! 😀
      …maybe not.

    • Tauriel_ says:


    • calimie says:


      Abg bayl nobhg Nejra, ohg Fnehzna'f punenpgre vf terngyl rkcnaqrq (naq fhqqrayl phg vs lbh jngpu gur gurngevpny irefvba bs EbgX (Bu Reh, ubj zhpu V ungr gung phg)).

    • rabidsamfan says:

      Yes. There are differences that will diminish your enjoyment of the movies as well as distract you from the thread of the story in the books if you try to interleave the two. LotR really is one long novel, and while the movies made differences for reasons, it's better to let all those reasons unwind as you watch the movies.

    • wahlee says:

      We should have a name for us small but persistent minority that want him to watch the movies after he's finished the books. Team One Novel, perhaps?

    • HieronymusGrbrd says:

      I never joined a team, but I'm joining Team One Novel.

    • hazelwillow says:

      I saw the first movie after reading up to chapter two of The Two Towers, and it didn't confuse me or diminish my enjoyment of the rest of the books. I remembered my own images of most of jthe characters and everything. But I do admit it Would be more complicated to do that with the two towers movie and to know where to stop for the movie…

    • fourthage says:

      I have to agree with this. If something as non-specific as implying the next chapter is even more of an info dump is considered spoilerly, I seriously do not understand how the movies are getting a pass.

    • AmandaNekesa says:

      I fully support this!!! TEAM ONE NOVEL! There's some stuff that just makes more sense once you know the whole story and read the appendices, and I'm so afraid Mark will be spoiled if he goes ahead with the FotR movie. And this is coming from a fan that watched the movies first, too! I can't wait for Mark to watch the movies, since that was my own first experience of LotR, but at the same time, I think it's best for him to wait.

      Please Mark…PLEEEAAAASE wait! I don't want you to be spoiled!

      • MrsGillianO says:

        Absolutely – another vote here for TEAM ONE NOVEL. The films are amazing, but they take material from the novel and twist it to support the needs of cinema, a whole different genre.


    • darth_eowyn says:

      Total support for this! I watched the first movie after only having read Fellowship of the Ring– I was determined to finish the book first, but didn't know how intertwined the series was. It honestly ruined part of the movie.

      V jnf fb pbashfrq ol Obebzve qlvat gung n ybg bs gur rzbgvbany vzcnpg bs vg jnf ybfg.

  32. feminerdist says:

    Okay, fuck that guy. I mean, you don't tell people how to run their own shit. Ugh. Besides, how can anyone possibly hate the lists? I admit, I too am obsessed with lists.

  33. guest_age says:

    I just realized when you stated that you learned their title "ringwraiths" that you probably didn't get that joke in A Very Potter Sequel when Lupin complains that the textbooks are so old they refer to dementors as ringwraiths. Heh.

    Also: it never fails to amuse me how many names Aragorn has. I'd try to list them all but for all I know, there's a character limit on these comments and NO ONE HAS THAT AMOUNT OF TIME anyway.

    • Ryan Lohner says:

      One of the best jokes in the Lord of the Rings Rifftrax: "Yes, that is one of my several thousand names."

      • hpfish13 says:

        This makes me think of Aragorn's song in Fellowship! (the musical parody of the movie). Pretty much the lyrics are (nsgre urnevat n Evatjenvgu pel)
        Nentbea "Gurl ner pbzvat"
        Zreel "Jub ner gurl?"
        Nentbea "V'z tynq lbh nfxrq, gurl ner xabja ol znal anzrf. Gur Anmthy…..Oynpx Evqref….Evatjenvguf…..gur fnzr guvat"
        Fnz "Hz, Ze. Fgevqre, gurl frrz gb or trggvat n ybg pybfre"
        Nentbea "Evtug, V'yy fvat ba gur jnl. Gur Anmthy….Oynpx Evqref…..Evatjenvguf……………………….

        Naq gura gur vzcyvpngvba vf gung ur fnat guvf bire naq bire ntnva nyy gur jnl sebz Oerr hagvy Jrnguregbc.

  34. Meltha says:

    It really is wonderful to see Bilbo again.

    As far as Elbereth, I'd like someone's opinion as to whether this is a spoiler…

    Nf V erpnyy, jr qba'g trg na rkcynangvba bs Ryorergu naljurer va YBGE cre fr, gubhtu V erpnyy gung gur nccraqvk zragvbaf ure nf orvat bar bs gur Inyne, naq gung fur frrzf cerggl boivbhfyl onfrq ba Gbyxvra'f rkcrevrapr nf n Pngubyvp jvgu Znel. Guvat vf, V qba'g guvax gung'f rire npghnyyl npxabjyrqtrq va gur grkg. Nz V jebat ba gung (vg'f orra gbb ybat fvapr V'ir ernq gurfr obbxf).

    • Tauriel_ says:

      Fur'f zragvbarq va Tnynqevry'f fbat nf Ineqn, juvpu vf ure Dhraln anzr (Gbyxvra rira fcrpvsvrf vg gurer: "Ineqn vf gur anzr bs gung Ynql jubz gur Ryirf va gurfr ynaqf bs rkvyr anzr Ryorergu."). Ohg vg'f abg fcrpvsvrq gung fur'f n Inyn.

      V guvax vg VF cbffvoyr gb qrqhpr, sebz ure "fheanzr" Tvygubavry – Fgnexvaqyre – naq gur snpg gung gur Ryirf fvat ulzaf gb ure, gung fur'f fbzr xvaq bs n tbqqrff. Rira gubhtu jr xabj gung gur Inyne nera'g tbqf, fvapr Gbyxvra'f jbeyq vf fgevpgyl zbabgurvfgvp, gurl'er zber yvxr natryvp cbjref.

      • Cereus says:

        "Gbyxvra'f jbeyq vf fgevpgyl zbabgurvfgvp" Lrf, nygubhtu Gbyxvra ernyyl gvtugebcr-jnyxf gung yvar orgjrra zbabgurvfz naq cbylgurvfz, juvpu vf terng!

        Zl snibevgr qrfpevcgbe sbe gur inyne vf "gur Cbjref jvguva/bs gur jbeyq". juvpu V guvax jnf va gur Fvyznevyyvba.

        Oh, and thank you for your lingustics corners. 🙂

        • Tauriel_ says:

          That he does. 🙂 But it's very clear that Reh vf nobir gur Inyne, naq gurl bayl unir gur cbjre gb TBIREA Neqn.

          And thatnks! 🙂 I enjoy writing them.

          • Cereus says:

            "Reh vf nobir gur Inyne, naq gurl bayl unir gur cbjre gb TBIREA Neqn." Lrf qrsvavgryl.

            Naq "fho-perngr" 😛

    • @ljrTR says:

      No, that's not in the text of the books anywhere.

    • msw188 says:

      If the original question is whether or not this is a spoiler, then I'd answer as yes. These are the kinds of things that it can be exciting to discover on your own, and then you feel like the world is a little more real; no one tells you these things directly, but they are assumed because the world is assumed. And Tolkien is a master at these kinds of things; telling just enough to allow the reader to come to his own interpretation of the small legend that makes sense within the central legend. And then if the reader wants precision, he or she can read the Silmarillion and see how much more there is to learn. Nyy gur juvyr fybjyl ernyvmvat gung nofbyhgr cerpvfvba vf abg Gbyxvra'f tbny.

  35. msw188 says:

    When I read these books for the first time, my father told me that Bilbo was gone. He LIED to me. When I read the page where Bilbo takes off his hood I ran to him and yelled at him for his treachery.

    Seeing Bilbo being Bilbo, sassy and at ease with the 'high folk' around him, is awesome. And the last paragraph before Sam comes to put Frodo to bed is really beautiful.

    It took me a while to actually read this whole song. But some of the rhyming and rhythm is awesome. And, as always, it's easier to follow when you understand the story that is being told. I also really like the description of falling asleep to the songs in the Hall of Fire, and the straight-up admittance that no normal people would ever enjoy singing and story-telling the way the elves do.

    • calimie says:

      "vg'f rnfvre gb sbyybj jura lbh haqrefgnaq gur fgbel gung vf orvat gbyq"

      Gung'f jul V oryvrir Gur Fvyznevyyvba vf n onfvp (ohg gbhtu) ernqvat sbe nalbar jub yvxrf YbgE. V ybir frrvat gurfr ersreraprf urer gb gubfr terng fgbevrf bs gur cnfg.
      (I don't think this is a spoiler but I'm coding it anyway. If a mod thinks it's okay, just decode it.)

      • Tauriel_ says:

        I don't think this is a spoiler – Mark knows by now that the Silmarillion is basically Middle-earth ancient history/mythology, so knowledge of it would obviously be very handy in these instances where M-e ancient history is referenced in LOTR.

  36. Ryan Lohner says:

    "Bu tbq, gur Evat vf fgvyy perrcl nf shpx. JUNG JNF GUNG FUNQBJ GUNG NCCRNERQ?"

    Fjrrg Puevfg, guvf fprar va gur zbivr cerggl zhpu tnir zr n urneg nggnpx. Vg'f cerggl zhpu Wnpxfba gebyyvat lbh jvgu n Fpernzre.

  37. Katie says:

    Mark, I hate to shatter your beautifully innocent view of the world, but the harsh truth is that: yes, there most probably are people who use your blogs as Cliff Notes to world literature. Some of them probably for a class and for credit. Sorry.

  38. knut_knut says:

    Splinters alone are already one of life’s great tragedies and evidence that there is no god watching over us
    UNUN guvf znqr zr guvax bs gur OGF fghss jurer Qbz vf gnyxvat nobhg gur TVTNAGVP, gvgnavhz fcyvagre ur tbg juvyr ehaavat gb gur sreel, juvpu raqrq hc nf whfg guvf gval yvggyr guvat.

    • Tauriel_ says:

      *snigger* Oh, man, I love that stuff! 😀

    • Rheinman says:

      Tragedy is when I cut my little finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die — Mel Brooks

    • AmandaNekesa says:

      Haha…yeah I love that part! Qbz'f nyy gnyxvat nobhg ubj vg'f tbvat gb or n "jubccre" naq ur'f tbvat gb unir vg senzrq, gura gurl frr gur fvmr bs vg, naq Ovyyl Oblq tvirf uvz fhpu n uneq gvzr. Fvtu. Ybir gubfr thlf!

  39. Katie says:

    Prediction: one of Mark's bulletpoints is so funny, that there will be an extraordinary amount of rot13 snickering in the comments today. With lots of smileys and exclamation marks…

  40. Rheinman says:

    Does anyone else find it amusing that the grandfather of epic fantasy trillogies is actually 6 books long?

    • Tauriel_ says:

      It's actually a single book split into 6 parts. The publisher forced Tolkien to split it into three separate books (so he had to come up with titles for them).

      • Ryan Lohner says:

        At least it made the decision of where to make the splits pretty easy. Though Vg yrsg Gjb Gbjref va cnegvphyne irel njxjneqyl fgehpgherq jura gnxra ba vgf bja.

        • Rheinman says:

          Oh, my yes. Jr tb nyy guebhtu obbx 4 sbyybjvat bar tebhc (zl snibevgr cneg bs gur frevrf) naq gura jr onpx hc gb obbx 5 naq sbyybj gur bgure fgbel. V'z guvaxvat gurl jbhyq unir jbexrq unq gurl orra vagreynprq fb gurl unccrarq fbzrjung pbagrzcbenarbhfyl, ohg guvf zvtug unir zrffrq hc fbzr bs gur ohvyqvat fhfcrafr va rnpu cneg bs gur fgbel.

        • notemily says:


          • Lugija says:

            Zl nhqvb obbx bs SbgE raqrq jvgu (pehqr genafyngvba, vg jnf va Svaavfu) "Guvf vf ubj gur svefg cneg bs gur uvfgbel bs gur Jne bs gur Evat raqrq. Gur anzr bs gur frpbaq cneg vf Gur Gjb Gbjref, orpnhfr gur fgbevrf gbyq va vg unir n ybg gb qb jvgu Begunap, Fnehzna'f pvgnqry, naq Zvanf Zbethy, juvpu thneqf gur frperg ragenapr gb Zbeqbe". Ohg lrnu, vg pna zrna Begunap naq Onenq-qûe, Zvanf Gvevgu naq Zvanf Zbethy, Gur Gbjref bs gur Grrgu, gur Gbjre bs Pvevgu Hatby… Gur Zra sebz gur Jrfg ernyyl yvxrq gurve gbjref, qvqa'g gurl?

          • Tauriel_ says:

            V yvxr gung Gbyxvra cerggl zhpu yrsg vg gb gur ernqref' vzntvangvbaf. Lbh pna ernyyl cvpx naq pubbfr juvpu gjb gbjref vg ersref gb:

            Begunap – Onenq-qûe (nf gur svyzf qb)
            Zvanf Gvevgu – Zvanf Zbethy
            Begunap – Pvevgu Hatby
            Begunap – Zvanf Zbethy
            Zvanf Gvevgu – Onenq-qûe


  41. wahlee says:

    This is a good time to bring up my concern with Mark's movie viewing schedule again. Because hagvy fur ernccrnef va Zvanf Gvevgu gb zneel Nentbea, guvf vf gur YNFG nccrnenapr bs Nejra va gur obbxf. Fur trgf zragvbarq n pbhcyr zber gvzrf, yvxr jura fur znxrf gur fgnaqneq jvgu gur rzoyrz bs gur Juvgr Gerr sbe Nentbea naq fraqf vg gb Ebuna jvgu ure oebguref naq gur bgure Qhanqnva, ohg jr arire frr ure ntnva. Naq hayrff n ernqre vf irel pyrire naq cvpxf hc ba gur fhogyr uvagf va guvf puncgre, ure zneelvat Nentbea va EbgX vf n pbzcyrgr fhecevfr.

    Gur zbivr (dhvgr evtugyl) gnxrf gur Nentbea/Nejra onpxfgbel sebz gur nccraqvprf naq zbirf vg gb gur sbersebag. Gur ivrjre xabjf, sebz guvf cbvag ba, gung gurl ner va ybir, gung gurl ner jnvgvat sbe uvz gb orpbzr gur Xvat. Vs Znex jngpurf gur zbivrf (NAL bs gur zbivrf) orsber ur trgf gb puncgre svir bs obbx fvk, ur'yy or fcbvyrq.

    So, I'm going to say it again: Mark, don't watch the movies until you've read all three books. YOU WILL BE SPOILED if you watch the movies. It's not just that there's a plot point that's revealed, it's also that the movies put a great deal of emphasis on said plot point, but the books hardly mention it. It will be confusing. You'll read the books looking for things that aren't there. You might even be disappointed. Unless the schedule your friend has made for you doesn't have you watching the movies until you only have 4 chapters left in the last book, YOU WILL BE SPOILED.

    • Tauriel_ says:

      I have to agree with this.

    • msw188 says:

      Ah, I hadn't thought of this one. This is a pretty good argument. I was surprised on first read about this.

    • notemily says:

      I was really looking forward to Mark watching the movies in between the books, but you One Novel people are making quite a convincing case.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        Me, too – I was originally in favour of Mark watching each film after its respective book (with the first chapter of TTT read before watching FOTR, of course), but given how things are going so far, I REALLY feel it will be better for Mark's reading and watching experience if he first reads the WHOLE book, including the Appendices, before he watches the film trilogy.

        • ladililn says:

          You know, it's funny, I never read the appendices when I read the books–and now I'm wondering how I was even aware of Nentbea naq Nejra orsber gur zbivrf ng nyy! V guvax V zhfg unir xabja ng yrnfg FBZRGUVAT nobhg gurve eryngvbafuvc, orpnhfr V erzrzore gryyvat zl qnq gung gur Rbjla/Snenzve eryngvbafuvc jnf fb zhpu pbbyre guna gur Nentbea/Nejra bar, ohg ubj V rira xarj nobhg gur ynggre V abj unir ab vqrn. KQ

          • wahlee says:

            Jryy, gurl qb trg zneevrq va gur znva obql bs gur abiry, ohg gur fgbel vfa'g syrfurq bhg. Sbe gur onpxfgbel, lbh arrq gur nccraqvprf.

        • rabidsamfan says:

          Well, maybe not all the appendices. But yes, there are some parts of the appendices that would make the movie watching experience a better one.

    • Mirima says:

      I agree!

    • AmandaNekesa says:

      I agreed with another post about this, but I'll agree again! I think it will be much better for Mark to finish the books AND the appendices before watching any of the films. There's several scenes that are added or changed in the movies that will make this experience rather confusing, not to mention, SPOILERS!!!! Mark please don't watch the movies until you're done with the books! Pretty please???

  42. Rheinman says:

    Qb lbh fhccbfr gung gurer ner bayl guerr Ryira evatf ornphfr jura gurl tbg ebhaq gb znxvat bar sbe rnegu, fbzrbar fnvq, "Url, jr nyernql znqr frira sbe gur Qjneirf, vfa'g gung rabhtu?

    • Saphling says:

      V nyjnlf sryg gurl ersyrpgrq gur guerr fvyznevyf, naq gurve sngrf. Evatf bs nve, sver naq jngre = Fvyznevy gung raqrq hc nf n fgne, gur bar ybfg orarngu gur bprna, naq gur bar ybfg va n ibypnab. :Q

      • Tauriel_ says:

        You beat me to it. 😀

        Nyfb, rira vs gurl unq znqr n Evat bs Rnegu, gura gurl'q boivbhfyl unir gb znxr bar sbe Urneg, nf jryy. :p

        • Rheinman says:

          V jnf fgvyy evssvat ba Ryebaq – Znfgre Jngreoraqre.

          Gnhevry, jung xvaq bs ynzr cbjre vf urneg, naljnl?

          • Tauriel_ says:

            V jnf ersreevat gb Pncgnva Cynarg, bs pbhefr, fvapr jr'er gnyxvat nobhg evatf naq abg vaurerag oraqvat novyvgl. 😉

            • Tilly says:

              Warning: TV Tropes. [link]

            • Kaylee Arafinwiel says:

              OL LBHE CBJREF PBZOVARQ, V NZ PNCGNVA CYNARG!!! =Q *ybyby* Lbh xabj, bqqyl rabhtu V jnf cbaqrevat gur evatf naq gur inevbhf enprf bs gur Serr Crbcyrf. Yrg'f frr…Avar sbe Zra (qvqa'g raq hc fb serr, gubhtu fnqyl) Frira sbe Qjneirf (qvggb), Guerr sbe Ryirf, naq gur Bar Evat gb Ehyr Gurz Nyy…jung nobhg Svir? Gurer'f ab Svir!! Naq jub'f yrsg? Blrf, Uboovgf.

              V pna frr guvf nf gur fgneg bs n svp…
              "Neqn vf va crevy. Lninaan, gur Inyvr bs Rnegu, jvyy fraq svir fcrpvny Evatf gb svir fcrpvny lbhat Uboovgf…sebz Ontfubg Ebj, Fnzjvfr Tnztrr, jvgu gur cbjre bs Rnegu. Sebz Terng Fzvnyf, Cvccva, jvgu gur cbjre bs Sver. Sebz Ohpxynaq, Zreel, jvgu gur cbjre bs Jngre. Sebz Ont Raq, Sebqb Onttvaf, jvgu gur cbjre bs Jvaq. Naq sebz Ohqtrsbeq, Snggl Obytre, jvgu gur cbjre bs Urneg. Jura gurve cbjref pbzovar, gurl fhzzba gur Fuver'f zbfg cbjreshy qrsraqre, TNAQNYS GUR TERL (Juvgr)."…V fubhyq fb jevgr guvf…*qvrf ynhtuvat* Omigod, where's Dreamflower when I need her…*giggles madly* DF, you out there???

              • Dreamflower says:

                Here I am! I finally found it!

                And you should totally write that!

                • Kaylee Arafinwiel says:

                  Are you sure about that?! O.o I think I'm a bit scared of the bunny…*throws it at Dreamflower who is, after all, the better hobbit writer* =)

                  • Dreamflower says:

                    Nope. *grin* You thunk it, you write it! After all, that particular cartoon is not my generation's…

                    I would gladly beta it for you, though! You can do it!

      • stefb4 says:

        V arire gubhtug bs vg gung jnl orsber!

        Vg'f nyfb vagrerfgvat fvapr Pryroevzobe, gur znxre bs gur Guerr, vf gur tenaqfba bs Sënabe, gur perngbe bs gur Fvyznevyf.

  43. Appachu says:

    Jumping on the I-love-lists bandwagon. Haters to the left, people.

    <img src= ""&gt;

    Nyfb, vs guvf jnf na vasbqhzc, V pna'g jnvg sbe Zbaqnl'f erivrj. Gur Pbhapvy bs Ryebaq vf abg fb zhpu na vasbqhzc nf na vasb-fvkgrra-gba-jrvtug-qebccrq-bagb-lbhe-urnq-naq-gura-rkcybqvat. *cackles with glee*

  44. shortstuff says:

    A note about spoilers in general: Thlf, jngpu bhg sbe gur fcbvyref! Vg'f trggvat n yvggyr penml va guvf puncgre. Whfg orpnhfr Nejra jnf zragvbarq *fgnaqvat arkg gb Nentbea* qbrf abg zrna gung lbh pna znxr pbzcnevfbaf orgjrra gurz naq gur rcvp ybir fgbel bs Orera naq Yhguvra. Lbh nyfb fubhyqa'g or thfuvat nobhg ubj jbaqreshy Nejra vf, orpnhfr gurer'f ab ernfba sbe vg. Nf sne nf Znex xabjf, fur'f n cerggl Rys jub fng ng gur gnoyr sbe gur srnfg. GUNG'F VG. Vzcylvat gung fur'f nebhaq zber, be unf fbzr vzcbegnapr, VF pbafvqrerq n fcbvyre ol Znex!

    Nyfb, V fnj n ybg bs pbzzragf onfvpnyyl fnlvat gung gur arkg puncgre vf n ovt vasb-qhzc, lbh ner abg cercnerq, vg'f n ybat pbashfvat puncgre, tbbq guvat ur'f erivrjvat vg bire gur jrrxraq, rgp. Nyy bs gung vf n fcbvyre.

    V qba'g jnag gb frrz yvxr Penool ZpJuvarl cnagf, ohg vg frrzf gung crbcyr'f raguhfvnz vf ehaavat n ovg uvtu, yrnqvat gb nppvqragny fcbvyref. Pna jr nyy gel gb or zber pnershy?

    • Jenny_M says:

      V qba'g guvax gung'f snve. Crbcyr jrer tbvat nyy bhg va Tybesvaqry snaavat lrfgreqnl naq ur arire fubjf hc ntnva. V zrna, crbcyr jrer fgnaavat sbe Gbz Obzonqvy naq UR arire fubjf hc ntnva. Crbcyr ner nggnpurq gb qvssrerag punenpgref sbe qvssrerag ernfbaf naq whfg fnlvat lbh ybir bar qbrfa'g vzcyl gung gurl'er ZNWBE. Znex xabjf gur Fvyznevyyvba vf bhg gurer naq gung qvssrerag crbcyr zvtug cynl ovt cnegf va bgure Gbyxvra-irefr guvatf.

    • Jenny_M says:

      Naq V qvqa'g jnag gb pbzr bss gbgnyyl penool – V QB nterr jvgu lbh nobhg gur Orera/Yhguvra pbzcnevfbaf. Ohg trggvat rkpvgrq orpnhfr Nejra unf nccrnerq va gur fgbel, gb zr, vfa'g gung zhpu qvssrerag guna crbcyr trggvat rkpvgrq nobhg Tbyqoreel (gb hfr nabgure zvabe punenpgre).

    • monkeybutter says:

      This is a good reminder, gubhtu V qb nterr jvgu gur bguref gung, nfvqr sebz gur Nejra/Yhguvra pbzcnevfbaf be qenjvat nggragvba gb Nejra naq Nentbea, fvzcyl orvat rkpvgrq nobhg ure vagebqhpgvba vf gur abez, but please don't use the word crazy on this site.

    • @ljrTR says:

      so, so true. and I may have been guilty myself.

  45. Becky_J_ says:

    There are probably many coherent, intelligent, insightful, and in-depth comments that could be made about this chapter, and I am sure that some of my fellow commenters will take care of that for me…. so excuse me in the meantime if this is all I have…..

    * dances and skips around and around with pure joy and happiness *

    You guys. This must mean that everything will be smooth sailing from this point out. right? RIGHT?! OF COURSE.

    P.S. Is there really so little to note about Bombur that all that is ever said about him is that he is fat??? "Hey, you guys, remember that one dwarf who is sweet and kind and helped take back the Lonely Mountain from the dragon Smaug??" "OH, you mean the FAT ONE???" these people are such dwarf bigots

  46. threerings13 says:

    There is so much unpreparedness in this post that it would take a ROT13 comment as long as the post itself to talk about it.

    As for the song, I really TRIED to understand it, and I totally and utterly failed. On my 10th or so reread. *sigh* Why was Earendil cursed to wander the skies forever? Is that information in the poem? Cause I looked for it.

    • calimie says:

      When in doubt: Silmarillion.

    • Dreamflower says:

      Short version, rot.13'd for Silm spoilers:

      Npghnyyl, vg jnf pbafvqrerq n "erjneq". Jura guvatf jrer ybbxvat hggreyl naq gbgnyyl oyrnx sbe gur sbyxf bs Zvqqyr-rnegu, Rneraqvy (jub jnf Ryebaq'f sngure, naq gur tenaqfba bs Orera/Yhguvra) gbbx ba gur gnfx bs fnvyvat gb sbeovqqra Inyvabe va beqre gb ort gur Inyne gb vagreirar naq gnxr qbja Zbetbgu. Zrnajuvyr, uvf jvsr Ryjvat (jub jnf nyfb qrfpraqrq sebz n unys-Ryira pbhcyr, Ghbe naq Vqevy) unq gb rfpncr sebz gur fbaf bs Srnabe jvgu bar bs gur Fvyznevyf– fur whzcrq vagb gur Frn jvgu vg naq jnf ghearq vagb na nyongebff naq pnhtug hc jvgu ure uhfonaq. Jura gurl neevirq, gur Inyne nterrq gb uryc. Fvapr Rneraqvy pbhyq abg erghea gb fgnl va Zvqqyr-rnegu, ur jnf erjneqrq jvgu vzzbegnyvgl, naq jnf frg gb fnvyvat gur fxvrf ng avtug. Bar nffhzrf ur tbg gb fcraq uvf qnlf jvgu uvf jvsr va gurve gbjre gung jnf ohvyg sbe ure. Ohg gurl arire tbg onpx gb svaq bhg gur sngrf bs gurve lbhat gjva fbaf, Ryebaq naq Ryebf.

      • threerings13 says:

        Npghnyyl, vg jnf pbafvqrerq n "erjneq".
        Jryy, gur fbat fnvq "uvf qbbz jnf hcba uvz," fb V thrff V nffhzrq "qbbz" jnf n onq guvat. Fvyyl zr.

        And thanks.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        Räeraqvy jnf ABG gur tenaqfba bs Orera naq Yúguvra, ur jnf gur fba bs Vqevy naq Ghbe. Uvf jvsr Ryjvat jnf gur tenaqqnhtugre bs Orera naq Yúguvra. Crbcyr bsgra trg guvf zvkrq hc. 🙂

        • Dreamflower says:

          Npx! V xabj orggre naq V FGVYY tbg vg zvkrq hc! Gunaxf sbe gur pbeerpgvba. V ubcr V tbg gur erfg bs zl cbggrq rkcynangvba zber be yrff pbeerpg, YBY!

          BTW, how do you manage to make diacritical marks on rot.13?

          • Tauriel_ says:

            I type them normally – the characters with diacritical marks are't changed by the code, so they remain the same (just like commas, periods, exclamation marks, parentheses, etc.)

            • Dreamflower says:

              Oh. The rot.13 page I have just has a plain text box. I usually have to "insert" from a word-processsing program to add them. I guess I will have to continue skipping them here. Oh well.

              • Tauriel_ says:

                Ah, but I have the advantage of switching to a Czech keyboard layout which has also the accents and umlauts… 😀

        • stefb4 says:

          Ah, I was going to point this out–it's a good thing I read the rest of the comments before doing so lol

      • @ljrTR says:

        great summary thanks

      • HieronymusGrbrd says:

        Npghnyyl, Inyvabe <fgebat>jnf</fgebat> sbeovqqra gb Rneraqvy, orpnhfr uvf ryivfu naprfgbef unq orra Abyqbe onaarq sebz Inyvabe, naq uvf uhzna naprfgbef unq arire orra vaivgrq va gur svefg cynpr. Fb Rneraqvy jnf chavfurq, ohg va n xvaq jnl (be tvira n erjneq qvfthvfrq nf chavfuzrag), znxvat gur fnvybe qb jung ur ybirq gb qb.

        Ryjvatf pnfr jnf abg fb pyrne, orpnhfr <fgebat>ure</fgebat> ryivfu naprfgbef unq arire frra Inyvabe, fb gur bevtvany vaivgngvba znl fgvyy unir orra inyvq nygubhtu fur jnf cneg-uhzna. Gb erzbir guvf nzovthvgl, ure fbaf jrer sbeprq gb pubbfr n grnz.

    • Tauriel_ says:

      Read the Silmarillion. 🙂

      • threerings13 says:

        I almost added a line to that comment saying, "These are the times I make up my mind to read The Silmarillion, but then I try and fail."

        • calimie says:

          If it helps, it was only on my third reading that I began to "get it" and I keep finding out new details with each new reading. Then again, I don't take notes of stuff while I'm reading and that'd help a lot with this book.

    • Cereus says:

      Naq Rneraqvy ol fnvyvat bire gur jbeyq orpnzr gur Zvqqyr-Rnegu irefvba bs gur Zbeavat/Riravat fgne – n.x.n. Irahf.

      • notemily says:

        V tvir lbh gur yvtug bs Rneraqvy, bhe zbfg orybirq fgne, rgp.

        • Tauriel_ says:

          V'z fgvyy fyvtugyl vexrq ol Pngr Oynapurgg (naq fhofrdhragyl, Ryvwnu Jbbq) cebabhapvat gur anzr vapbeerpgyl. Vg'f abg "Reraqvy" nf fur fnlf vg, vg'f Räeraqvy (abgr gur hzynhg nobir gur "n" juvpu zrnaf lbh zhfg cebabhapr vg), sbhe flyynoyrf – "ru-nu-eraa-qvyy". Cebcf gb Ivttb Zbegrafra sbe trggvat vg evtug va uvf pbebangvba fbat – Rg Räeryyb… – tvira gung gubfr gjb jbeqf pbzr sebz gur fnzr fgrz "räe", juvpu zrnaf "frn".

  47. Dreamflower says:

    First off: I LOVE your lists! And you hit nearly all the high points of the chapter, as well! Just tell those "non-list" Grinches "humbug".

    Second, and not at all spoilery: Bilbo's poem about Earendil is marvelous, but I like even better his poem "Errantry" which uses the same rhyme scheme! If you are ever in the mood for just some poetry by JRRT, you should check it out.

  48. Joining the list love. Seriously, I love these lists. Especially when it's dealing with an infodump

    And yeah- "Uryyb vasb-qhzc. Ubj ner lbh?"

    "Whfg svar, gunax lbh. Yrg zr vagebqhpr lbh gb zl zbgure, jub'f vasvavgryl zber guna V pna rire ubcr gb or."

    I really love the description of the Hall. I would most definitely fall asleep there without shame. I can stare at fire for a long time (seriously, it's mesmerizing. I have a whole folder of pictures of one campfire on my computer. I'm like a closet pyromaniac).

    I always skip Bilbo's song. Sorry, Bilbo. I love you to death and I admire your cheek for making verses about Elrond's father (is that a spoiler?) in his house but I can never get through that poem.
    Speaking of Bilbo, I've always found the illusion wrought on Frodo concerning him to be one of the most unsettling things I've ever read. It's a really horrible reminder that the ring is still wielding its influence, both on Bilbo and Frodo. But now it's Frodo becoming defensive of the Ring in a way that's too close to Bilbo's episode back in the first chapter for comfort. WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE A BREAK FOR ONCE?

    But focusing on the positive, they can rest. Pippin is spectacular, Gloin's back, Elrond's wonderful, and there's a feast!

  49. threerings13 says:

    Oh and also, I have, over the years, developed a huge crush on Elrond. I don't even know. My LOTR crushes: Elrond and Gandalf. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME?

  50. tigerpetals says:

    I credit Tauriel with the idea. Here's the song in this chapter. [youtube ezt7KucDJlc&list=WL8A6DA8B64273710C&index=51&feature=plpp_video youtube]

    In this chapter: woah, the testosterone. Two new female characters, one is just pretty and the other is only mentioned as having been tortured by orcs as a motivator for her sons' behavior. Well, and there's the Elfwing person.

    And again, don't be around elves if you have self-esteem problems. Even though they are really, really nice. At this point I am envious of fic authors who can write themselves in as elves, for having the confidence to imagine themselves as such. Seriously, I am happy for them. Good for you.
    Not that there's anything wrong with the other races, I'm fond of them, but elves keep getting built up in this story, don't they?

    I can see why Sam/Frodo is considered a viable slash pairing, not that I didn't before.

    Poor Balin: I thought he was closest to Bilbo of all the dwarves. Okay, not necessarily close, but he seemed the fondest of Bilbo in The Hobbit.

    • Dreamflower says:

      That is a beautiful vid! I love it!

    • Tauriel_ says:


      Thank you so much for this. 🙂

    • @ljrTR says:

      V guvax gung'f n fcbvyre er Onyva. lbh qba'g xabj jung'f orpbzr bs uvz ng guvf cbvag va gur obbx.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        Ab, ohg vg'f vzcyvrq gung fbzrguvat onq zhfg'ir unccrarq gb uvz naq Bev naq Óva, orpnhfr "n funqbj cnffrq bire Tyóva'f snpr".

      • tigerpetals says:

        V qba'g erzrzore jung unccrarq gb Onyva, vs nalguvat; V'z whfg fnlvat "cbbe Onyva" orpnhfr ur'f zvffvat naq vg qvqa'g ybbx tbbq sebz Tybva'f rkcerffvba.

        Jnvg abj V erzrzore. Bu ab.

    • Parmadil says:

      Of Arwen it is also said that "thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring."

      She is described as not just being pretty, but as being basically the female version of Elrond- which is badass. She's not just a pretty face.

      • tigerpetals says:

        I don't have the impression that she's meant to be badass, though. The precedent of the other female characters in this book so far lowers my expectations. Hopefully she will be.

        V xabj fur qbrfa'g cynl zhpu cneg va gur obbxf nfvqr sebz ybir vagrerfg, fb gung'f jul V vtaberq gung cneg bs gur qrfpevcgvba. Bs pbhefr fur'f fzneg, ohg vs vg qbrfa'g ernyyl znggre fgbeljvfr gura vg'f whfg gurer, nyy "gnyx" ol gur aneengbe. Ohg V qba'g erzrzore whfg ubj zhpu fur vf va gur obbxf, fb gung'f jul V fnl gung ubcrshyyl fur jvyy unir fbzr sbez bs onqnffrel.

        • kristinc says:

          LRF! Gunax lbh. Guvf vf n pynffvp rknzcyr bs gryyvat naq abg fubjvat. "Qhqr, fur ybbxrq ng uvz naq jnf yvxr gbgnyyl jvfr'a'fuvg. Ohg fur'f abg tbaan npghnyyl qb nalguvat. Rkprcg or ubg."

          V ernyyl, ernyyl cersre ure rkcnaqrq ebyr va gur zbivrf. Gurer jr npghnyyl jvgarff ure orvat onqnff.

          • tigerpetals says:

            Fb qb V. Ure fprar ng gur evire jnf va gur genvyre, naq vg znqr zr jnag gb jngpu gur zbivr jura V unqa'g rira urneq bs Gbyxvra orsber. Vg'f gur bayl guvat V erzrzore sebz orsber V jngpurq vg.

  51. rubyjoo says:

    I really loved hearing about the descendants of Beorn and Bard and the beauties of Dale and the dwarves' home now that they have both been rebuilt. Initially, I read LotR before I read The Hobbit so all these references washed over me. Now, it's great to meet up with Gloin again and I'm concerned about the three missing dwarves and feel sad when a reference is made to the "great Thorin Oakenshield" because they feel like old friends.

  52. Lists are awesome, people need to stfu.

    Since I don't know how to post gifs, let's see if this works at all:

    <img src=""/&gt;

  53. arctic_hare says:

    BAH. Haters gonna hate! I LOVE YOUR LISTS, MARK. NEVER STOP DOING THEM. Okay, I am biased because I love making lists too, but WHATEVER. It is your site, you do what you want. I love all the different types of reviews you do. <3 I think I shall list off things about this chapter too, just to spite those silly people who hate your lovely lists.

    – This is a nice breather for the gang after all the excitement lately.

    – And by excitement I mean horrifying deadly danger like disembodied arms and douchey sentient trees and Ringwraiths and just general terror.

    – YAY BILBO!!! <3 ILU, BILBO.

    – Aragorn is indeed the man of a thousand names.

    – I think this is the song I remembered as possibly being longer when I said a couple of chapters ago that some other one was at least one of the longest. LOL YEAH THIS IS INCREDIBLY LONG.

    – GANDALF!!! <3

    – Describing Frodo's misadventures as "all the absurd things you have done" AHAHAHA ILU TOO, GANDALF.

    – Yeah, wtf, that splinter sounds truly horrible.

    – As do the Ringwraiths, and the possibility that Frodo could've become one. WHAT. NO. OH HELL NO.

    – Gloin! Yay, dwarves!

    – Beorn mention!

    – Bu zna, Onyva. Abbbbbbbbbbbbb, nyy gur grnef. Gung jvyy arire abg znxr zr fnq. Vg'f tbaan oernx Znex'f urneg jura jr trg gb Onyva'f gbzo ng gur raq bs N Wbhearl va gur Qnex ba Jrqarfqnl. Naq ur'yy svanyyl ernyvmr jung gur onaare vf qrcvpgvat.



    • Rheinman says:

      "- Bu zna, Onyva. Abbbbbbbbbbbbb, nyy gur grnef. Gung jvyy arire abg znxr zr fnq. Vg'f tbaan oernx Znex'f urneg jura jr trg gb Onyva'f gbzo ng gur raq bs N Wbhearl va gur Qnex ba Jrqarfqnl. Naq ur'yy svanyyl ernyvmr jung gur onaare vf qrcvpgvat. "

      Oh yes, I agree, and then:

      Bva'f (be vf vg Bev'f?) Ncbpnylcgvp Ybt bs gur ynfg qnlf bs gur Zbevn rkcrqvgvba tnir zr avtugznerf sbe n ybat gvzr

      • notemily says:




      • arctic_hare says:



      • Tauriel_ says:

        Vg'f Bev. Ur jnf gurve puebavpyre (naq jnf cerggl xabjyrqtrnoyr va Gratjne, gur Ryivfu fpevcg, nf Tnaqnys cbvagrq bhg). Naq V gbgnyyl ybir ubj uvf pbfghzr naq znxr hc va gur Uboovg svyz ybbxf nyzbfg zbaxvfu – vg gbgnyyl svgf uvf punenpgre nf guvf obbx-ybivat areq naq puebavpyre. 🙂 Urpx, znlor ur jvyy or gur bar jub vafcverf Ovyob gb jevgr n obbx nobhg uvf nqiragherf! *vqrn*

  54. arnenieberding says:

    Even though I have yet to read the books, I too say it's better to read all three of them before seeing the movies. Having read your reviews, I have no doubts that the differences will bug you and might 'taint' your viewing experience (even if the movies are brilliant).


    I'm also quite conflicted as to whether I should wait to read these reviews. Because I can follow, but having not read the books, a great deal of this information is new to me and spoiling myself might 'taint' my experience. Even if your reviews are so lovely, I'm afraid I need to lay off them for a while. D:

    I'LL SEE YOU IN ANOTHER LIFE, MARK (aka on tumblr and facebook and I'll prolly be back on this blog in a few months). Sigh.

    • @ljrTR says:

      we'll miss you; hope you are able to read some chapters and come back.
      so agree that he should read all the books first before any movie!!!

    • msw188 says:

      Yeah man, just catch up and then go along at Mark's pace! How often do you get the chance to experience something for the first time together with someone else?

      • arnenieberding says:

        The problem is that I have a stack of books to read for school + I'm still reading a few others xD I already did ask for the LOTR books for Christmas, though (I have a late Christmas party coming up) so I might actually start reading them soon anyway.

  55. bugeye says:

    I have a song reference that I always use to help people with Tolkien. The Beatles's The Ballad of Rocky Racoon contains this stanza:
    Her name was Magil/
    She called herself Lil/
    but everyone knew her as Nancy.

    That pretty much sums up Tolkien's naming process.
    Ah, the flashbacks. The mid Sixties was a great time to be a teenager.

  56. Laurelluin says:

    Would it be spoilery to tell Mark that Ryorergu vf yvxr gur tbqqrff bs fgnef? Because I so want to tell him and I feel like there've been enough hints in the poetry to figure that out, and it's not incredibly relevant to the plot in any way.

    • msw188 says:

      Sorry sir or ma'am, but I'm gonna have to claim this is a spoiler. Mark might work it out, or he might not, but I think he prefers being in the dark for as long as possible. Also, there are many things in these books that might not be incredibly relevant for the plot, but slowly realizing what they are is still a fun experience, and makes the world seem like something 'real' and something to discover, apart from discovering the plot and/or the characters. It's yet another reason so many people love these books.

  57. arctic_hare says:


  58. This is probably the least profound comment on this entire thread, but I have to say that after this Guardian article about Tolkien's nomination for the 1961 Nobel Prize made me want to beat all the commenters with a wiffle bat, coming here and reading the phrase "GANDALF, YOU ARE ONE SASSY LITTLE BISCUIT" lifted my spirits enormously.

    I think I'll just stay here for my Tolkien commentary from now on.

    • Dreamflower says:

      This quote, from JRRT himself, in regards to his critics in general:

      "Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible; and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer. But even from the points of view of many who have enjoyed my story there is much that fails to please. It is perhaps not possible in a long tale to please everybody at all points, nor to displease everybody at the same points; for I find from the letters that I have received that the passages or chapters that are to some a blemish are all by others specially approved. The most critical reader of all, myself, now finds many defects, minor and major, but being fortunately under no obligation either to review the book or to write it again, he will pass over these in silence, except one that has been noted by others: the book is too short."

      I imagine C.S. Lewis was more incensed over Tolkien being rejected than JRRT was himself.

      • notemily says:

        Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible; and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer.

        OHO SNAP.

        • Dreamflower says:

          I know. He was very good at snark, wasn't he? *grin* Kind of reminds me of Bilbo's Party Speech…

          Have you ever read his Letters? There's a wonderfully sarcastic response in there to some German official (apparently the Nazis were being nosy about his family tree when a German translation of The Hobbit was in the works).

    • tigerpetals says:

      His prose isn't the best, but it's not bad at all. It's charming.

      A little more off-topic, but I'm surprised they ruled out people because of age. Did they think brains oozed out of an author's head once they hit sixty?

  59. Hotaru_hime says:

    But I love your lists! I would love it if all your reviews were lists! In fact I now demand that you go back and make everything lists.
    Dunedan are a group of people, not one of Aragorn's names.

    • notemily says:

      I bet someone will beat me to this response by the time I get done typing it, but the Dunedain ("Men of the West") are a people, Dunadan is singular and Bilbo calls Aragorn "the Dunadan" or "Man of the West."

    • Cereus says:

      Yes, Frodo wasn't just sleeping (he was sleeping, yes, but) he was deadly ill/recovering from surgery. So it was really good that they had someone there watching him. If he had woken up and needed water or broth or something and no one was there for him, that would have felt pretty bad.

      Also, Sam insisting on being there and keeping 24-hour vigil until Gandalf tells him to go off and sleep = sweet (but over-the-top).

  60. AmandaNekesa says:

    "I'm desperately trying to keep myself prepared for the Lord of the Rings"

    Oh Mark your efforts at preparedness are futile, but oh so fun to watch! :p

  61. notemily says:

    Maaaark I LOVE YOUR LISTS NEVER STOP LISTING. Unless you don't feel like listing! Because it is YOUR BLOG.

    [Ntnvafg fbzr V unir abg lrg orra zrnfherq. SBERFUNQBJVAT, V FRR LBH GURER.]

    [Gur enpr bs Xvatf vf ng na raq? QBA'G GUVAX FB. Ha-sberfunqbjvat, V frr lbh gurer. Nyfb YBYBY "Nentbea vf npghnyyl qrfpraqrq sebz gur Zra bs gur Jrfg! Jnvg….V qba’g ernyyl xabj jung gung zrnaf. V sbetbg gur fvtavsvpnapr bs guvf JBBCF." Fb hacercnerq.]

    Frodo had a PIECE OF EVIL KNIFE in him for SEVENTEEN DAYS. WHAT. Jesus christ. Also, the whole it's-working-towards-your-heart deal reminds me of Iron Man and now I'm picturing Frodo with a big glowy thing on his chest for the rest of his life.

    And now we have Sam stroking Frodo's arm and blushing. Hee hee hee. I know some people don't like to ship them because friendship doesn't always have to be romance, but for me it's just so much FUN to look for slashy bits in the book. They are not hard to find!

    Hi Arwen! I hear you're the Evenstar of your people and stuff!

    Frodo has to sit on a bunch of cushions hee hee hee

    OH HI GLOIN! Haven't seen you since the last book! Also, I love that Beorn gets a mention, and we find out that Bard's family is still ruling in Dale.

    OH HI BILBO! 😀

    Except then Bilbo wants to see the Ring and he looks like "a hungry creature with bony groping hands" do not want D:

    [Ol gur jnl guvf vf gur zbfg greevslvat zbzrag va nyy bs gur zbivrf wrfhf tbqqnza puevfg]

    Then there's the longest song in the world, which I mostly skimmed, except for this bit:

    A ship then new they built for him
    Of mithril and of elven-glass

    …because I've heard the theory that this is actually a space-ship, and I love it. I mean, they say it has no oars or sails, and then he takes it and sails the skies with the sun and moon! ELVES WERE TOTALLY ASTRONAUTS AMIRITE.

    • knut_knut says:

      Re: your spaceship theory. I’ve never heard it before, but I LOVE IT! I stand behind it! It’s my new headcanon. I can just see Elrond, all regal, trying to step into a space suit xD

    • Cereus says:

      Yeah, the way the piece of the knife was *working it's way towards his heart* always scared the living crap out of me.

    • Cereus says:

      "because friendship doesn't always have to be romance" 🙂 yes. And Romance does not have to = Sex.

      *does NOT dissaprove of your, shipping, however*

    • Tauriel_ says:

      Vg gbgnyyl znxrf frafr sbe Ryirf gb unir fcnprfuvcf, orpnhfr UBJ RYFR NER GURL FHCCBFRQ GB SVAQ GUR "FGENVTUG JNL" GB INYVABE ABJ GUNG GUR RNEGU JNF ZNQR EBHAQ??? V NFX LBH!!! Bs pbhefr gurl arrq gb unir fcnprfuvcf.

      • baruchan says:

        V bapr ernq n svp — "Frrqf bs Byq Gerrf" ol Zneavr bire ng SS.Arg — gung unq Pryroevzbe va Inyvabe (guvf vf frg cbfg-YBGE, boif) jbexvat ba n irffry gung jbhyq gnxr gur Ryirf gb bgure cynargf. 🙂

    • tardis_stowaway says:

      I would totally watch a movie version of Iron Hobbit.

      I don't personally ship Frodo/Sam, possibly because I imprinted on LotR at a young age when it wouldn't possibly have occurred to me to see anything other than epic friendship. However, now that I'm an adult who has been known to see romance in all sorts of friendships in other fandoms (i.e. Holmes/Watson), I can totally understand why many people ship them. There is definitely lots of moments that look like romance when viewed through modern slash goggles. Enjoy your ship. 🙂


    • Parmadil says:

      I'm never going to lose the image of Frodo w/ the glowy thing on his chest… That is the most awesome mashup of fandoms ever.

    • tigerpetals says:

      Short fic of Earendil lookng down from his spaceship, spoilery:

  62. msw188 says:


    It is THIN and it is COLD and you can probably get a good enough idea next month when you get INTENSE in TEN CITIES, some of which are in CANADA in FEBRUARY.

    That was all elvish for: "I really hope I can get to Pittsburgh for the February date."

  63. @miranda486 says:

    I think we all just need to go back to the good old:

    IM reviews, Lists Reviews, ANY DAMN REVIEW is AWESOME!

    Mark is MADE OF AWESOME.

    I think we should form the protective ring around Mark's logical right to do whatever the F*() he wants with HIS site.

    Again, haters to the left please …

  64. Ryan Lohner says:

    One thing I'm surprised Mark didn't mention: this chapter first makes clear that "The Lord of the Rings" refers to Sauron, not Frodo or any of the other heroes. Though that's probably a mistake fewer people make these days thanks to the movies.

    • Tauriel_ says:

      When I first read the Hobbit as a kid, my edition (which was a Slovak translation) had a sort of an advert for LOTR at the back – but only saying that it's a sequel to the Hobbit and some familiar characters like Gandalf and Elrond appear there.

      For years, until I finally read LOTR, I thought that Bilbo would become the Lord of the Rings by collecting magic rings, each with a different property (like, the one he got from Gollum only granted invisibility).

      Sweet summer child, I was so blissfully not prepared. 😀

    • Katarina says:

      I'm raised on the crappy Swedish translation that named the trilogy "Härskarringen" = "the ruling ring", so I thought it referred to the ring itself well into adult age.

      • floppus says:

        That's an interesting interpretation of the title. I never thought of that. But it is, after all, “one ring to rule them all.”

  65. Ryan Lohner says:

    I've been following the BBC radio show along with this (I've never listened to it before), and it turns out vg nyfb rkcnaqf Nejra'f ebyr, gubhtu anghenyyl abg nf zhpu nf gur svyzf. Ovyob fcrpvsvpnyyl gryyf Sebqb urer gung fur naq Nentbea ner na vgrz, naq rynobengrf ba gur qvssvphygvrf bs n zbegny naq na vzzbegny orvat va ybir. Vg'f zber guna V jnf rkcrpgvat (vg'f ynetryl rkgerzryl snvgushy gb gur obbxf fb sne, orfvqrf erzbivat gur jubyr Byq Sberfg frdhrapr) naq jnf avpr gb urne.

  66. flootzavut says:

    People who don't like your lists = can stick said lists up their backsides and smoke them. We <3 you Mark.

    Totally behind the love for Gandalf being a SASSY LITTLE BISCUIT. This may now become my favourite ever compliment. Ever. Seriously. Anyone else think that Fve Vna ZpXryyra (V sbetrg juvpu anzrf Znex qbrf naq qbrf abg xabj sebz gur pnfg…) and all the others in the zbivr sryybjfuvc would think this is hysterical??

    "In particularly dense chapters (like this one), my goal is not to tell you what happened in The Fellowship of the Ring. Y’all already know! Unless someone’s using these like Cliff Notes??? OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE."

    Love this idea. Let it be so!

    It is Absolutely Right to feel that the Ringwraiths and the Morgul blade et cetera are very creepy. I mean let's face it, the Dementors are nasty and no one wants their soul sucked out, but at least they can't turn you into a Dementor, right? Shudder!

    I LOVE PIPPIN and I'm happy he's your favourite. I have said it before, and no doubt I shall say it again. Pippin. Ace. <3

    Onyva *fnqsnpr*


  67. rabidsamfan says:

    I may be a little sensitive to the change, but vg unf bppheerq gb zr gung Eviraqryy vf gur cynpr jurer Fnz ernyyl fgnegf guvaxvat bs Sebqb nf uvf "znfgre". Cnegyl, bs pbhefr, orpnhfr rirelbar sebz Tnaqnys gb Ryebaq hfr gung grez gb qrfpevor gur eryngvbafuvc orgjrra gurz. Yngre ba, bs pbhefr, ur'f tbg n tbbq qbfr bs Tbyyhz pnyyvat Sebqb "znfgre", naq gung bayl ervasbeprf vg, ohg cevbe gb Eviraqryy, juvyr Fnz vf qrsvavgryl Sebqb'f fbpvny vasrevbe, ur nccrnef gb or wbvavat gur dhrfg zbfgyl nf sevraq naq bayl pbaqvgvbanyyl nf 'freinag'. (Abg gung Fnz ernyyl zvaqf orvat Sebqb'f freinag. Ohg V guvax ur'f sne orggre qrfpevorq nf n yvrtrzna. Fbzrbar jub unf fjbea uvf bngu gb sbyybj, va gur jnl gung Zreel fjrnef gb Gurbqra naq Cvccva fjrnef gb Qrargube.

    • Dreamflower says:

      YES! I'd never have thought of it in those exact terms before, but YES! Sam leaving the Shire with Frodo was definitely "over and above" a gardener's duty!

    • bugeye says:

      Yes, and I wish I had the Movie Bilbo "THIS" gif to post here.

      Vg vf yvxr Gramvat Abetnl, ur nyfb pyvzorq Rirerfg juvyr gnxvat pner bs Fve Rqzhaq Uvyynel. Gbyxvra qvq gur znfgre/freinag guvat ohg Fnz “jba” va gur raq. Jnl gbb zhpu qvfphffvba sbe guvf glcr bs cbfg.
      Boivbhfyl nabgure Enovq Fnz Sna

      • rabidsamfan says:

        Rirerfg jnf n ybg pbyqre — naq yrff yvxryl gb rkcybqr ba Abetnl naq Uvyynel guna gur zbhagnva gung Fnz unq gb trg Sebqb gb. Naq Fnz jrag gurer jvgu n ybg yrff rkcrpgngvba bs rire pbzvat qbja ntnva.

        Lbh'q cebonoyl yvxr zl uboovgl svp — vg pbapragengrf ba Fnz (sbe fbzr bqq ernfba) — naq V'z raqyrffyl snfpvangrq ol gur jnlf gur dhrfg punatrq uvz nf jryy nf gur bguref.

  68. Mothy says:

    To be fair, while I like the lists, a lot of the "alternative" reviews are super annoying and sometimes leave us out of your reactions. (the Harry Potter reviews were really guilty about this).

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:

      I love that I spent an entire segment of the list telling the whole world how rude and presumptive this very action was, but you decided to do it anyway. I gotta admit that that takes a level of dense-ness or courage that I don't see often.


      1) Don't tell me how to post.

      That tip is free of charge!

      I'd also like to note that it astounds me that people use the same excuse: "But Mark, where are your reactions to things?" It astounds me because every one of these alternative reviews has my reactions in them. No, they're not obvious, but I have to find new ways to convey the same things. If you get it and THEN don't like it, that's totally cool. And fair!

      But my reactions are ALL OVER IT. IT'S RIGHT THERE.

    • msw188 says:

      Wow. This is literally mindblowing. I'm sure I've said some rude or presumptive things on occasion, but wow.

  69. Harlock says:

    To answer your question about the "Narrow Ice" without spoilers:

    Many things the characters in LOTR talk or sing about happened thousands of years ago during the so-called "First Age" (LOTR takes plays in the "Third Age" btw). To know what happened in the first Age you should read "The Silmarillion". But it should be said that this book is written like an actual history book or mythological book. It starts with the creation of the world, explains how all the different races (elves, humans, dwarves ect.) came to be, tells the most important tales and happenings of the first age, a specificly important part of the second age, and ends with a sumarisation of the third age.
    If you're a fan of the world of Tolkien by the end of LOTR and want to know more about it and it's history you should check it out some time, although it can be dull at times (especially the first few chapters that introduce the several deities of Middle Earth can drag a bit). But once the book comes to the Tale of the Silmaril, it kicks into high gear.

  70. stefb4 says:

    As a fellow list-lover (so much that my mom displays concern over the dozens of names-lists I make—FOR WRITING PURPOSES GOSH) I love your lists Mark. MAKE ALL THE LISTS YOU WANT.

  71. Icarus says:

    Something fun:

    1 – Go to Googlemaps.
    2 – Type in "The Shire" as the starting point, Mordor as the destination.
    3 – Selecting walking directions.
    4 – Read the warning note.

    • Parmadil says:

      🙁 I see no warning note… Unless you meant "Jr pbhyqa'g haqrefgnaq guvf ybpngvba."?

      • sixth_queen says:

        I tried it twice and it worked. Go to google maps, click on "Get Directions." Type in The Shire and Mordor (ignore the suggested business, make sure it says just The Shire and Mordor). Click on the little walking guy for walking directions. At the top of direction column there is a yellow box which says
        "Jnyxvat qverpgvbaf ner va orgn.
        Hfr pnhgvba – Bar qbrf abg fvzcyl jnyx vagb Zbeqbe." B)

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:

      I never get sick of seeing this.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        Google is so funny sometimes (for instance, if you type into the search engine "the answer to life, the universe and everything" you get 42 😀 ).

        A friend of mine and I once discovered how, when you put into Google Maps "Tokyo to New York", Google tells you at one point "kayak across the Pacific Ocean". This inspired my friend to write a funny little DW fanfic about Martha travelling the world during the Year That Never Was. 😀

  72. Caravelle says:

    Hello ! I just had to tell you, I'd read your Twilight reviews way back when and enjoyed them, and only a few hours ago saw a link to this place and wondered "so is he still reviewing stuff" and OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU. I've been going through all your archives and should go to sleep already.

    I love snarky reviews of bad fiction and I didn't expect I'd love your reviews of awesome fiction this much but if anything I think they may be better. Your enthusiasm is really communicative and makes me fall in love with those books all over again; especially with the Lord of the Rings, that I read and ADORED back in middle school and somehow never found the time or enthusiasm to read all the way through since. You may yet inspire me to try again, although I don't really have the time (oh, and you've already inspired me to read Storm of Swords which I had stopped 300 pages in because at that point two innocents die in the most pointless and politically clusterfucktastic way and I thought "why am I putting myself through this again ?". Well, now I'm back baby, bring the horror and suffering ON. But obviously it doesn't help with the time issues)
    I mean, it's not just the lovely enthusiasm, it's the enthusiasm combined with substantive analysis and explanations of what is awesome and why. It's just great.

    So, yeah. Just wanted to say I love your work 🙂

    (oh, and as for the deal with Elbereth – obviously it's the rune that keeps you being attacked by monsters. Sounds like Tolkien played Nethack ! Or, you know, the opposite).

  73. SecretGirl127 says:

    Keep the lists coming!

  74. rubyjoo says:

    Only about another 9 posts and we will have knocked Harry Potter from its top spot. Keep them coming, LOL!

  75. monkeybutter says:

    I will never get tired of these threads. 😀

  76. ADB says:

    Three times now I log in at 9:00 EST to look for the new review, and it is not there. WordPress is oficially my enemy.

    • Ryan Lohner says:

      I'm starting to think he just doesn't do these on Mondays anymore, to allow him more time for the Harry Potter ebooks.

      • blossomingpeach says:

        Except that he usually says ahead of time when he isn't going to post. Besides, he said on Twitter he had finished Gur Oevqtr bs Xunmnq-Qhz over the weekend, so we know he's ahead 🙂 The post on Friday didn't go up until a few hours after 9, either.

        WordPress, whyyyyyyy? *refresh*

    • baruchan says:

      You're not alone…I've been refreshing every 5 minutes for the past hour or so. It's already 23:45 (UTC+8) but I still want to read Mark's review before I go to sleep!

    • Tauriel_ says:

      WordPress has clearly allied itself with Sauron. :@

    • Saphling says:

      Seriously. I've been coming back every hour, and refreshing like mad.

      WordPress is laughing at us, clearly.

  77. Smurphy says:

    Still so far behind… I love how I have been sick the last two days and I used those days to catch up on Dr. Who and have barely touched lotr.

    Ah. Rivendell. Just reading about it puts me in my happy place.

Comments are closed.