Mark Reads ‘The Last Hero’: Part 2

In the second part of The Last Hero, Vetinari seeks out an ally and a resource, and Cohen prepares for the end. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld. 

You know, this might be the most serialized book we’ve gotten to because so much of it relies on an understanding of Rincewind’s past and the events of Interesting Times. I can’t really call it a sequel, since all the Rincewind books are inherently linked, but it’s certainly a continuation of that story. What do men do after they’ve conquered everything? The Silver Horde are approaching the end of their lives, and in that context, I suppose I understand why attacking the gods would be one hell of a way to go out. If you’ve exhausted everything on the ground, why not take it to the gods up in the sky?

But since this book hides Cohen’s motivation, all I can do is guess. I have a suspicion that this is not as straightforward as I’m being led to believe. Cohen is more methodical than that; he wouldn’t just make up this plan for the sake of it, would he? (Oh gods, now that I’m thinking of it… he actually might. He hasn’t conquered the gods, so why not try to destroy them?) Regardless, his kidnapping of the minstrel is just confusing. Why not get an actual bard who will compose the saga of the Horde’s last fight? Why choose someone who has no experience writing adventure epics? Because this guy seems ill-equipped to compose what these men want… well, until they handed him a giant pile of rubies. Look, at least the Horde pays a living fucking wage, okay??? Granted, they also KIDNAPPED their employee, so maybe we shouldn’t emulate their hiring practices, but I’d be fine getting a giant bag of rubies for every job I did.

Meanwhile, in Ankh-Morpork, there’s SCIENCE happening. It’s actually quite fun that I’m reading about orbital gravity after The Science of Discworld, so I’m going to imagine that The Last Hero takes place immediately after that book. From one experiment to the next! In this case, Leonard da Quirm appears to have devised a means to get three people—Carrot, Rincewind, and Leonard—up to Cori Celesti. Great! That’s wonderful! It’ll only take TWO HUNDRED SWAMP DRAGONS. Oh, and they’ll only have to drop off the edge of the Disc and make it all the way around the underside in order to get high enough to fall down on Cori Celesti. No big deal! No pressure! I DO NOT VOLUNTEER FOR THIS.

But Rincewind does, since he knows that by some confluence of events, he’ll still end up on that ship, and you know what that means??? Carrot and Rincewind. Together. Like… have they ever even interacted much at all??? And now they’ll both be in the majority of this book? OH, THIS IS EXCITING. I WANT MORE.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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