Mark Reads ‘Hogfather’: Part 3

In the third part of Hogfather, I have no idea what’s going on. LET’S DO THIS. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld.

Teatime and Ernie

It’s been a challenge to try to pin down what it is about Teatime that’s so insidious and terrifying, but Ernie’s POV section at the opening of part 3 does it for me:

Ernie’s brain felt all twisted. The lad was definitely what Ernie thought of as a toff, and he seemed nice and friendly, but it didn’t all add up. The tone and the content didn’t match.

THERE IT IS. It’s precisely that! As I said in the video, Teatime straddles a line between being genuine and mocking, so much so that it’s often impossible to determine exactly what his intent is. That mysterious nature frightens me, and what he does to Ernie is proof that he can use his charm to temporarily distract people, at least long enough to get exactly what he wants from them. And that’s what makes me so sad about Ernie. It was bad enough that Teatime coerced him into giving his group a ride to Unseen University; but for a moment, Ernie truly believed that if he cooperated, he would survive.

And then Teatime kills him and calls him dull. UGH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, TEATIME.

The Auditors

So, I still don’t get it. That’s okay. This is a Discworld book! I rarely get what’s going on until the end. But the Auditors’ hatred of individualism and personality might be the key to this. But why go after Hogfather??? That makes no sense to me. Aren’t there any number of mythological figures that could be the perfect target for them? Is the Hogfather just the start of something. Yet I’m also confused by this line:

Yes… but the beauty of this plan, said a third, is that he can’t interefere.

He can go everywhere, said one.

No, said another. Not quite everywhere.

And, with ineffable smugness, they faded into the foreground.

So, okay, let’s accept this. HOW DOES THE NEXT SCENE MAKE ANY SENSE.

The Hogfather

Initially, I read the scene with the Death of Rats as being one of wonder. The Death of Rats had never actually seen the Hogfather, and now, they were witnessing him for the very first time! And that little groan we may have heard from the Hogfather was a nice touch, suggesting that perhaps the Hogfather was tired of all the traditions surrounding them. Even that moment where they cleaned up after themselves was great, since it could be interpreted as them being deliberately sloppy after all these years.

But then:

HERE’S ANOTHER PORK PIE.

“Any mustard?” said the sacks. “They’re a treat with mustard.”

IT DOES NOT APPEAR SO.

“Oh, well. Pass it over anyway.”

Um. So… that’s Death, right? That’s how Death’s dialogue is formatted, so… it’s Death? But it’s not? How did Death end up as the Hogfather??? Who is the person in the sack??? Didn’t Teatime have someone in a sack???

I’m lost. And I get that this isn’t why Susan has the reaction she does to the news that her grandfather might be posing as the Hogfather. No, she’s confused because she wants nothing to do with this other life, especially not after her last experience with the “occult.” Her life, as it currently is, is not all that normal anyway, so I understand completely why she chooses to ignore what the Death of Rats has to say to her. (I’m glad the raven is back, though!)

Pratchett is setting up a lot already, and I’m guessing that Susan will get pulled into this somehow. But I’m just utterly lost when it comes to the Hogfather. Who was that??? Why is the Death of Rats so convinced it was Death?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRfL7KCY6J8

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