In the seventh chapter of The Hobbit, Bilbo and the group face even more horrors beyond the Misty Mountains. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Hobbit.
CHAPTER SEVEN: QUEER LODGINGS
Bilbo’s Hate List
- Waking up and believing it is time to put the kettle on, but discovering that I am missing out breakfast because a bunch of goddamn dwarves have eaten most of it.
- Remembering that I am traveling with dwarves.
- Remembering that I am nowhere near home.
- Remembering that I cannot eat the following: toast, or bacon.
- Remembering that I cannot have a cup of tea.
- Flying on eagles. No.
- Not having baths.
- Gandalf abandoning me. π
- Gandalf getting mad at me for calling Beorn a furry. Oops, I mean furrier.
- Having to travel through Beorn’s bee-pastures. I am a mere hobbit! I cannot handle a bee sting from such monstrous insects!
- Having to meet Beorn before anyone else.
- That first meal at Beorn’s house having to end.
- The dwarves deciding to sing in the middle of the night.
- Any sounds outside that are not the same sounds as acorns falling.
- Waking up to the dwarves having consumed most of breakfast.
- Being on an adventure that does not consist of only going from one hobbit-hole to another.
- Seeing bears following the group in the forest.
- Gandalf actuallyΓΒ abandoning me. Why must he leave?
Thorin’s Hate List
- The mighty Gandalf should not leave my gang of dwarves, because he has provided an invaluable and gallant service to our mighty group.
- It is also possible that I know piss-all what to do next. The mighty Thorin Oakenshield can admit this!
- Carrying the hobbit. I have not had the chance to carry this meager companion, but I already dread the day!
- Must the wizard Gandalf take us to see the most irritable and irascible creature who has ever lived?
- I am tiring of the ridiculous antics of this “Gandalf,” if that is even his name anymore. We have to come in pairs? Every five minutes? I am thinking that “Gandalf” simply enjoys disturbing the dwarf mind.
- This Beorn character is a bit much for Thorin Oakenshield. Must he be so angry all of the time?
- Surely Gandalf could wait to blow smoke rings until after he tells us where in Bilbo’s name has Beorn gone, right?
- Blasted Beorn, you dare meet with the wargs we so gloriously defeated the day before?
- HOW DARE BEORN NOT TRUST US. It’s not like we didn’t trust him when we first met him!
- Thorin Oakenshield would not tire if he merely remained in Beorn’s great hall! Why must our journey be so treacherous?
- The great Gandalf will rue the day we meet again after he departed from our noble journey! What could possibly be more important than assisting the great Thorin Oakenshield?
Bombur’s Hate List
- Gandalf called me the fattest. π π π
Beorn’s Hate List
- Who are these creatures at my door?
- Why does this wizard expect me to know who he is?
- Why should I care about the goblins?
- This better be a good story or I’m eating me some Gandalf and Bilbo for dinner.
- Oh, this Gandalf is a goddam liar. He is lying to me.
- Oh, great, some fucking dwarves. I could not ask for anything more useless than a bunch of self-important dwarves.
- Okay, maybe Thorin isn’t that bad, but why the hell are these creatures here?
- GOD COULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST FINISH A GODDAMN STORY.
- OH. More dwarves. This is what I wanted.
- THERE IS NO MORE TERRIBLE OF A STORYTELLER THAN GANDALF.
- When I ask the universe to give me what I want, I get more dwarves. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.
- These dwarves are rude little shits. I am trying to get Gandalf to finish this goddamn story and they insist on talking about “servicing” me. Who do they think I am?
- They had ponies. I am starting to believe this is all a clever ruse to see how far they can go before I roast them all alive.
- Did you know I wanted more dwarves? No? Well, I got them!
- Who the fuck does Gandalf think he is? TELL ME THIS STORY I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS. This episodic bullshit has to stop.
- How can a wizard not count? Doesn’t he need to make potions and shit?
- If this is a set up for an endless parade of dwarves to enter my house, I’m going to start murdering without judgment.
- Okay, that was actually a good story, and I hate that I enjoyed it so much.
*
I do not normally amend these style of reviews, but SERIOUSLY. BEORN. MY HERO. Holy shit I LOVE THIS CHARACTER FOREVER AND EVER. He’s just so bitterΓΒ and angryΓΒ and impatientΓΒ and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing. This chapter is HILARIOUS, even if Tolkien didn’t really intend on that, and I love the structure of it.
OH GOD MIRKWOOD FOREST I CAN’T EVEN DEAL.
Hahaha. I like how Thorin's talking in third person for about half the list. So true.
Really enjoying reading along with you! I waited until the last minute to go to class so I could read your review and now I have to go oops byeeeeeee.
Thorin Oakenshield is dwarf enough to refer to himself in third person. He would even invent the fourth person just so he could talk about himself in it.
Love the new format! Poor Bombur, he deserves all the hugs π IT'S OKAY TO BE CHUBBY AS LONG AS YOU'RE HUGGABLE!
For some reason that line makes me picture Bombur as being literally as fat as two dwarves put together. Like Fili and Kili (who are the skinniest in my head, don't ask me why) could stand side by side behind him and be completely hidden. I'm sure Bombur is very cuddly, though.
I get the sense that if I cuddled any of the dwarves, they'd smash me with an ax, or at least grumble a lot.
That's true. Cuddling hobbits is probably much safer.
THE MIGHTY THORIN OAKENSHIELD WILL NOT BE CUDDLED.
I think the i's and l's in Fili's and Kili's names, being all vertical and thin, make us think of long streaks of nothing, you know (dwarf nothing), and add to the impression that they're the skinniest.
Also, isn't one of them the youngest? Not that we're given (I don't think) a real idea of the age, but it kind of makes me think of them as sort of that teenage, all-limbs gangly.
Wow, I didn't realize I had thoughts on that. Neat!
Both of them are referred to as being "younger" by Gandalf. Who knows what that means in dwarf years, though.
According to LOTR Appendix (I don't think this is a spoiler, just extra background information), Fili is 82 and Kili is 77 during the events of The Hobbit. This is pretty young for Dwarves, as they often reach the age of 200 and more (unless they're killed in a battle, of course).
For reference, Thorin is 195 during the events of The Hobbit, Balin is 178, Dwalin is 169, Oin is 167 and Gloin is 158. I don't have the ages of the rest of the Dwarves, I'm afraid…
I always reassure my chubby friends that they're way more huggable and fun to draw than skinny people! If I started drawing fanart for this book I'd probably just end up drawing Bombur all over my notes.
I will fully admit to crushing on Beorn something wicked. Big, hairy, grumpy men that are literally BEARS? UNF.
Get in line.
Behind me.
When I read the scene about the bears gathering in the woods, as a queer individual, I had to think to myself, "I do not think I am picturing what Tolkien intended…."
It was a pretty fantastic scene in my imagination
Well the chapter IS called "Queer Lodgings." π
I might be wrong, but I believe at the time The Hobbit was written "queer" only meant "strange".
No, you're right.
Not necessarily. People argue a lot over when 'queer' started to have its modern connotations, and some estimates apparently go waaay back to the late 1800s/early 1900s. Not that it means anything, of course, but it's kinda funny.
Well, English is not my first language, nor have I ever studied its history extensively π but I understood that "queer" as a synonym for "homosexual" became most common in the decades after WW2…
Trust me, having done both makes it no easier to understand at all, hah. English is a ridiculous language.
It might be that there's two different theories, or it might be that pre-WWII it was only sometimes used to mean gay, and the meaning picked up steam after WWII. Or it could have fallen in and out of fashion.
…Dammit, now I'm going to spend all night reading up on this, I can feel it. XD
Oh, I'm sorry to have caused this… π
I haven't done any research into it anytime recently, but I think the most common/rational theory I've heard in the past is that:
1. 'Queer' had it's original meaning of 'unusual'.
2. The word came to be used as a term for non-traditional, non-heteronormative relationships within the community, but primarily kept it's original meaning at large for the rest of society that was still trying to pretend they didn't exist.
3. The word entered general parlance as a synonym with meaning (2) when society at large finally got a clue and realized there needed to be a word that wasn't hateful or annoyingly clinical to refer to people it applied to, and someone had the bright idea to maybe ask what some of those people might prefer to be called or how they thought of themselves. (Politeness!)
Which explains why there's a huge disconnect during the middle part of the twentieth century where the old usage is still quite common but the newer usage also has documented use, leading to random snickering when a modern reader comes across the former and initially thinks of the latter.
Ahhh, that makes a lot of sense! This is fascinating to me, because it means that a lot of the rise of the word 'queer' originally didn't actually exist as an insult, which it obviously came to be later, and then we get its eventual reclamation.
Thanks for this! And yeah, I think this is one of the words which is most effective in showing how massively and how *quickly* the meanings of words can change.
This explanation does make a lot of sense. Thanks! π
And it proves that every piece of older literature should be always read in the context of its time, I guess…
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
BEORN. MY HERO. Holy shit I LOVE THIS CHARACTER FOREVER AND EVER.
No lie, Beorn might be my ideal man. Or at least my Middle-Earth boyfriend. <3 <3 <3
Mark, you are as unprepared as Bilbo!
bahaha everyone in this chapter is filled with so much anger and hate (minus Gandalf because he is the King Troll)
BEORN! <3 in my mind he's Ron Swanson and Hagrid's animorphing love child. WHY ISN'T HE REAL?!
But Beorn and Ron Swanson would have had such an epic falling-out when Beorn came out as a vegetarian. Ron Swanson just wouldn't be able to accept that this didn't make his son less of a man.
I know π But Ron’s so nice and loving, I think he’d accept Beorn as a manly man despite his vegetarian ways…hopefully…
I'm sure he'd come around eventually. π
Although this is the chapter where we learn how to be polite to eagles.
"May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks."
Quite nice, actually!
lol Ron Swanson/Hagrid is my new OTP!
I'm pretty sure it's intentionally hilarious. The idea of this big bear dude getting more and more "WTF" about all the dwarves coming in, and Gandalf, well…totally trolling him. That is just funny. (Seriously, Gandalf: more trollier than most trolls.)
Gandalf, trolling before trolling was cool!
Gandlaf is [i]totally[/i] a hipster. "Oh, you haven't heard of trolling? I've been trolling real troll before there even [i]were[/i] trolls.
I read that in Ian McKellen's voice and it was PERFECT.
“I am tiring of the ridiculous antics of this Γ’β¬ΕGandalf,Γ’β¬Β if that is even his name anymore.”
Reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the LOTR Rifftrax: “Lrf, gung vf bar bs zl frireny uhaqerq anzrf.”
rot13'd that just to be safe.
I love that line. It is perfect because it's TRUEomg.
Wow, I need to get a copy of the LOTR Rifftrax NOW.
Me too! I never watched them because LOTR is actually GOOD, and I usually use Rifftrax for movies I wouldn't be able to stand otherwise.
Beorn is pretty awesome, I'm so glad you like him!
And in Bilbo's increasing BAMFness, he noticed the bear that was following them even though none of the dwarves did. Perhaps they should use him as a lookout
This style of review was hysterical. If I was smiling at Bilbo's and Thorin's hate lists (because seriously how dare the dwarves just eat breakfast and Thorin is pretentious), I was laughing loudly at Beorn's. I don't know how I would react if more and more dwarves were appearing and a wizard just wouldn't get to the end of the story. And Gandalf just figures out how to impose on a dude with a not a friendly to guests reputation.
Illustration to Chapter 7:
<img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-i8H4EiRe–8/Tq1K2TDjYUI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/eYNIowfcR8Q/s512/DSCN1073.JPG" alt="beorn" border="1" height="300"/>
"endless chain of dwarves show up at someone's house uninvited" is rather a theme of this book, isn't it?
Yeah, Gandalf pulled the exact same trick on Bilbo, with similar results.
They call him a wizard. But his mightiest powers are as follows:
* Trolling people.
* Being a smoke-ring-blowing, story-telling beardy hobo.
* Conjuring dwarves.
…oh, and he's pretty awesome with that sword, too, I guess. And maybe the conjuring also extends to eagles…
…What was my point again? :p
Now I'm picturing him pulling an endless chain of multicolored dwarves (and one hobbit) out of his sleeve like handkerchiefs (handkerchieves?)
With pinecone light effects, and "The Final Countdown" playing in the background.
Best. Mental image. EVER! π π π
I wish I had any artistic talent. I'd totally do fan-art of that.
Is it just me, or does Bilbo look like Herbert Hoover in that picture?
Yay, Radagast gets mentioned! Obviously, this is relevant to my interests. π
And I have just now noticed I've been misspelling my username here. Oh, the shame…
Bu zna, V sbetbg ur jnf zragvbarq va gur Uboovg…
Vg’f nyfb shaal ubj Tnaqnys pnyyf uvz uvf “pbhfva” – vg vf gehr, va n frafr, fvapr nyy Vfgnev jrer Znvne, jub jrer gur yrffre Nvahe gung qrfpraqrq vagb ΓβΉn ng gur ortvaavat bs gur Jbeyq – naq fvapr nyy Nvahe jrer gur bssfcevatf bs VyΓΒΊingne’f zvaq, bar pbhyq fnl gung gurl’er “eryngrq” (rira gubhtu gur grez qbrfa’g unir gur fnzr zrnavat gung nccyvrf gb bgure enprf, fvapr culfvpny sbez vf cerggl zhpu bcgvbany sbe gur Inyne naq Znvne).
Rot-13'd your whole comment just in case.
Yeah, better safe than spoiled, I guess. π
Somehow the awesomeness of Beorn's house didn't make a deep impression when I read this as a kid. I mean, I remembered Beorn and the way they sorta tricked him into helping them, but I didn't remember how incredibly cool his living place is. Infinite honey and happy bees flying around fields of flowers, his house that seems like outside at night but is really indoors, all his animal friends that he can talk with… really sounds like a very pleasant place.
We are still keeping up with at least one new type of creature per chapter. Wargs and Eagles last chapter, a skin-changer for this one! I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a funny chapter, and I'm sure you noticed how it kind of paralleled the way all the dwarves came to Bilbo's house (I think Bilbo may have mentioned that explicitly, but I don't remember). Also, I can only imagine Gandalf's irritation. I get the impression that he was just planning on helping Thorin & Co. get their group together, traveling in the same direction for a while, and then splitting off. Instead, the dwarves are all ridiculously dependent on him and seem to nearly die (or lose all their supplies) almost immediately whenever he isn't there!
I love this chapter. Gandalf is really clever, playing Beorn like that. Also I might have a little crush on Beorn. Fb fnq gung ur'f arire rira zragvbarq va YBGE.
But Mirkwood! No Gandalf! Mark, your unpreparedness rivals with Bilbo's when he left his hobbit-hole.
Zber Orbea, yrff Gbz Obzonqvy, cyrnfr.
This.
RIGHT. Fbzr angher fcvevgf ner jnl njrfbzre guna bguref.
Weeeellll, technically gurl'er abg ernyyl "angher fcvevgf", nf gurl rkvfgrq jnl orsber gur Jbeyq jnf perngrq. π
I'm rereading LOTR right now. Uvf qrfpraqnagf ner zragvbarq n pbhcyr bs gvzrf!
Damn. See? I need to read LOTR again. I try to read them once a year, and I'm overdue.
This is my image of Beorn:
<img src="http://www.bzpower.com/Imaging/stories/tn_10217_cover-Hagrid.jpg">
I'm not entirely sure what's in his right hand, but Beorn certainly needs a pink umbrella. But Hagrid never told us he was an Animagus! He can turn into a gigantic bear, which is too awesome.
Gandalf story makes me giggle like nothing else. "1 or 2…or 14 of my friends were strolling through the woods…" He's such a troll. But he's quite mean to Bombur. π You go ahead and not wait five minutes Bombur, just follow Bofur and Bifur (I think those are their names).
If Beorn's Hagrid, than someone has to explain why he's become so grumpy in this universe. Although, that would explain why all the animals handle the cooking; you do not great guests with Hagrid's rock cakes.
I think that's a key in Hagrid's right hand, since he is, of course, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.
(Also, the autocorrect on this here Touchpad just changed Hagrid to "Nature," which, while rather appropriate, is slightly baffling.)
I JUST BOUGHT THE LEGO SET IN WHICH THIS HAGRID APPEARS. i nearly died from joy.
IT'S SO AWESOME
Gandalf story makes me giggle like nothing else. "1 or 2…or 14 of my friends were strolling through the woods…" He's such a troll.
Hee hee, he so is.
spectralbovine's Love List
This review.
This is honestly my new all-time favourite review.
Hobbit Oregon Trail – I would so play that!
I cannot wait AT ALL until the movies come out and I can see Richard Armitage doing Thorin – I'll probably die from happiness.
I don't know, "Bilbo dies of dysentery" would be a pretty dark way to end this.
I was already pretty excited that there was going to be a film, when I heard about Richard Armitage I nearly exploded.
Released promo pic of Thorin: Bepevfg vf TBETRBHF.
It was the Kili & Fili photo that killed me. Unf.
Ubg frkl Qjneirf! <3
Naq V ybirq ubj gur bgure Qjnes npgbef grnfrq Xvyv sbe "abg orvat byq rabhtu gb tebj n orneq" va CW'f guveq cebqhpgvba ivqrboybt. π
The photo of Kili may, possibly (definitely) be the desktop background on my laptop right now.
OK, this review is the kind of thing I get the urge to print out and frame and maybe reverently read once a day at dusk or something like that. BEAUTIFUL. Its hilarity rivals that of this chapter, because yeah, this chapter completely cracks me up. It's just so ridiculous! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING. Sometimes I wonder how anyone can take this book seriously. (In the best possible way.)
Love the review format!! So…
Mark's Love List:
~This chapter!! π
I can't wait for more!
*snorts* You made Thorin like the Hulk. Thorin speak in third person! Thorin smash!
Beorn was pretty awesome: he's like "seriously, I'm awesome, I do what I like". Also, he can become a bear and keeps sentient horses and ponies. That is pretty amazing.
….and once again, the Dwarves are pretty mean to Bilbo. No sure how you can travel this long with a guy and not even care for him a leetle bit.
No, Thorin speaks in the third person like Ceasar in his memoirs. Because you just know Thorin's like that.
I did an awesome crossword puzzle the other day where all the long clues were about The Hulk's day at the office. Like, the clue would be "HULK SMASH…" and the answer would be "…personal record at minesweeper!" Or the clue was "HULK BREAK…" and the answer is "for coffee!"
I'm a crossword nerd. Anyway, carry on.
Thorin should speak in royal plural – "We, Thorin Oakenshield"… After all, he IS of royal Dwarven blood, being descended from Durin himself.
I can relate to Bilbo on the "waking up and not finding bacon". Seriously, when the caf here promises bacon and instead they give us sausage(or even candian bacon, yes they've done this bit of trickery) I am pretty much a grump the rest of the morning.
However, not like riding on eagles? I'd be riding those eagles like a lonely island song.
I kept hearing Thorin's list in a BRIAN BLESSEEEEEED sort of voice, which made this review EVEN BETTER. π IDK why Thorin and not Beorn, but maybe it's that Thorin comes across as a pompous windbag more often. Oh Thorin, I love you anyway.
Today we have one of my favorite Hague illustrations (among my top 5, or maybe 3)… for some reason most of my favorites have gorgeous skies in them. I'm deathly afraid of heights, but this picture alone makes me want to ride an eagle. I'm basically as short as a hobbit, so it would be safe, y/y?
<img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/ravenclaw42/pic/00139xtb">
<img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/ravenclaw42/pic/0013btpx">
<img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/ravenclaw42/pic/0013dabe">
And the eagle-riding looks doubly appealing when faced with a long hike through Mirkwood.
YRR CNPR NF GUENAQHVY LBH THVFR, V NZ FB CERZNGHERYL RKPVGR
And the eagle-riding looks doubly appealing when faced with a long hike through Mirkwood.
Bar qbrf abg fvzcyl rntyr vagb gur Ybaryl Zbhagnva!
Be Zbeqbe, sbe gung znggre… π
That eagle picture is gorgeous, and Beorn is huuuuuuuuuge!
Have you heard the rumor that Oevna Oyrffrq jvyy or cynlvat Qnva!!??
Where does that rumour come from? I've seen nothing on TORn, and it's probably the most reliable site for LOTR/Hobbit news ever.
IMDB, so not really reliable – but utterly hilarious!
Oh yes, it is. Like those old rumours from before LOTR that Sean Connery would play Gandalf. π
Two pictures today!
<img src="http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/8306/011giu.th.jpg" border="0"/>
<img src="http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/2737/012cto.th.jpg" border="0"/>
I swear these get more gorgeous by the day. Or something. Really, they're all amazing. <3
HAHAHA OMG this is a wonderful review, Mark. <3 I love your love for Beorn and the hate lists are hilarious. I love it when you do these alternate styles of reviews. π Beorn is indeed awesome, he's so damn cranky and I adore it. Prickly characters are a ton of fun, I think. This was probably intended to be a very funny chapter, and it really really is.
These are just GORGEOUS. I love the landscape/scenery art the best, I think. Just makes me want to live in Middle-earth forever.
Yay for landscapes! Today I can post my picture spoiler free!
<img src="http://www.tolkiencalendar.com/images/Tolkien2010Calendar6.jpg ">
Ted Nasmith does THE BEST landscape paintings of Middle-earth. Seriously. His renderings of characters are not particularly great, to be honest, but his landscapes are matchless. <3
All of the eagle illustrations are amazing. Yay!
I love Alan Lee's illustrations – these are so beautiful! <3
I love those hate lists! Poor Bombur, I would have understood, if he where the tallest and therefore the most intimidating, but the fattest? That is just so mean. π
The way Beorn was exposed to the pairs of dwarfs mirrors the first chapter, where the same thing happened to Bilbo. Did Gandalf tell them to appear one after the other then, too? He certainly seems quite the manipulator. ;P
BEORN!!!
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/AF0oY.gif "/>
TREAT YOURSELF!
I need to start watching this show.
Yes. Yes you do.
Ahahaha, I love how Gandalf introduces the dwarves two by two. At first I was afraid because if Beorn was such a dark-tempered guy, how could he fail to be offended that there were thirteen dwarves that Gandalf had deceived him about? But Bilbo is right, Gandalf was very clever about it, and Beorn seemed more interested in the tale than in the dwarves anyway. Hee.
OMG, Tolkien, stop talking about honey and cakes and clotted cream and breakfast! This book makes me so HUNGRY. I still need to learn how to cook.
Somehow it makes a ton of sense that a bear would also be a beekeeper. IT'S THE HUNNY.
*Pictures Beorn with his head stuck in a hunny jar*
"Oh bother."
hehehe…yeah I forgot about how Gandalf introduces the dwarves like that, just two at a time. With every bit of his story he finds a way to just casually insert, "oh yeah there were two more of us" each time, as if he forgot how many dwarves were there…there's only, you know, 13 of them!! Sneaky Gandalf.
Hahaha! Nice lists. I especially like Beorn and his frustration over the dwarves coming in little by little. I don’t think Beorn really would have been upset and turned into a bear and killed them all had they come at once- I think the “come in pairs every five minutes thing” was just Gandalf deliberately getting under his skin. Because he’s a troll.
Wow, I have barely any memory of this chapter from my previous reads at all. Which is really bizarre- a dude who turns into a bear should be pretty darn memorable. o.0
Poor Bombur. Always getting picked on. π
Bye, Gandalf. We will miss your trolling through the rest of the journey.
On an unrelated note, I just looked at your suggestions pages in the first time in a couple of months, and HOLY SHIT. You'll be reading and watching stuff with us ten years from now! Not that I have ANY problem with that. π
Beorn is the best thing ever. I hope he's in the upcoming Hobbit film. If there's justice he is.
Is it bad that I hated Beorn when I was a kid? On re-reads this was the chapter I skipped. I do love him now but back then he reminded me alot of Gbz Obzonqvy.
Ur'f jnl yrff naablvat guna Obzonqvy. Ur qbrfa'g tb nebhaq fvatvat vanar fbatf naq gnyxvat nobhg ubj cerggl uvf jvsr vf (juvpu onfvpnyyl naablf zr orpnhfr gung frrzf gb or ure bayl shapgvba).
Okay so I was wondering why it would be needful to put gngref in rot13, but then I had a very sad thought. It will be a very long time before Mark reads about gur Tnssre pbzcynvavat nobhg Funexrl'f zra qvttvat hc uvf gngref ba Ontfubg Ebj. I do think he will like that bit. I laughed so hard when I read that.
There are so many things that it will take Mark FOREVER to get to and I just want to post all the fanart and gifs and stuff RIGHT NAO and I can't!
(I particularly can't wait for "Gurl'er Gnxvat gur Uboovgf gb Vfratneq!" naq naq gur guveq cntr bs guvf pbzvp.)
Hahaha the 3rd page of that comic is sooo hilarious!
"Jnvg gurl npghnyyl yrsg zr urer…haoryvrinoyr."
"bu url ybbx guvf fuveg vf npghnyyl juvgr."
RIGHT? When I got to the punchline I just about died.
"Gurl'er Gnxvat gur Uboovgf gb Vfratneq!" <3 <3 <3
I want to be the first person to post that link. π I believe there will be a very tough competition for that… π
I made the mistake of looking up that video last night, and the song's been stuck in my head ever since.
I have that song on my ipod! "Gurl'er gnxvat gur Uboovgf gb Vfrathneq thneq th- th- th- thneq"
My phone won’t let me sign in and the Internet is down. (but at least we have power)
Have I mentioned how I don’t like Bilbo?
Hilarious review. Thank you for that.
I have a feeling that this chapter is going to be left out of the movie… π
Ab, vg'f abg. Orbea vf orvat cynlrq ol Fjrqvfu npgbe Zvxnry Crefoenaqg naq CW fnvq ur'f terng, fb V nz cerggl rkpvgrq. π
I really do enjoy this chapter, I was giggling the entire time during this reread. It's a nice, peaceful break from the SHEER TERROR that Tolkien has put us through in the previous couple of chapters. Beorn is just fucking awesome, and I knew Mark would love him. Mostly because of his track record for loving giant, animal-loving, hairy men (i.e. Hagrid).
I love the format of this review–I think by this point, you could make at least one hate list for every single character because they've all whined about something or other. Whiny dwarves π I REALLY get the feeling they're not used to hard-travel AT ALL.
And now: GUR JBBQ-RYIRF! V YBIR GUR JBBQ-RYIRF GURL NER FHPU ONZSF URYYB GUENAQHVY LBH SNOHYBHF RYIRAXVAT JUB JVYY QRYVPVBHFYL OR CYNLRQ OL YRR CNPR JUB JVYY OR QRYVPVBHF NAQ XVATYL NAQ UNAQFBZR NAQ FVER YRTBYNF :D:D:D:D:D
That last point in the rot13 is kind of strange now that I think about it but I don't care.
This is too funny! I LOVE this review– it's perfect.
I wonder if Gandalf had a hate list?
You mean you're NOT going to give us lists for Dori, Ori, Nori, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Biffur, Boffur, Kili, and Fili???
π
There are so many blogs online, I’m glad I found yours today, keep it up.