Mark Reads ‘Briar’s Book’: Chapter 13

In the thirteenth and final chapter of Briar’s Book, I thought this book was basically over, but little did I know that this was BARELY GETTING STARTED. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to finish Circle of Magic. 

Trigger Warning: For talk of death.

It’s not easy to feel like you’re not loved.

Love – romantic, familial, and otherwise – is such a common narrative in our lives, both in the fiction we consume and in the world at large. There are supposed to be these universal truths about how love manifests. There’s true love or love at first sight; there’s the love of family and the love of friendship. There’s the love of companionship. And you can break this down further and more specifically, over and over again, to talk about the different ways love can be demonstrated or appear in our lives. But the existence of love is not a mystery to most people. They know it’s real, and while they couldn’t scientifically explain, and perhaps they don’t even want to question it, they’re certain it’s real.

So what happens when it feels like the entire world gets to experience love and you don’t?

I don’t think that there’s been a moment in Briar’s life prior to the last year where he could ever say that he truly loved another person. As Roach, he did whatever he needed to in order to survive the streets of Hajra. That was simply his reality, and he adapted to it quickly. What we know of Briar’s time as Roach portrays that period as one of brutality. When he came to Discipline, it was not easy for him to find a place within a world that was so ordered. So clean. So dependable. He frequently lashed out in others. He refused to bath. His relationship to food was constantly challenged, and even when he started to realize that he may not ever have to worry about food running out ever, he still had a hard time accepting that this was his life now.

And then there was Rosethorn. Like Briar (and Tris, to some extent), she’s always been quick to go on the offensive. She never made herself likable, not even to Briar on his first day, and she’s never been interested in making herself likable. But that doesn’t mean she was careless or apathetic; her personality was not indicative of her morality. If anything, I’d say that Rosethorn – like Briar – was a fiercely principled person, quick to assert herself when she felt it necessary. Her sense of right and wrong was always right on the surface, and she wasn’t shy to fight, argue, push back, or be aggressive whenever she saw it necessary.

In that sense, there is probably no single teacher better suited to their student than Rosethorn is to Briar. Briar needed structure, support, and respect. I know I made a few puns about him being thorny, but it’s so fitting. I don’t believe that Briar ever thought he could be loved. I don’t believe that he ever once considered opening his heart to anyone. I don’t believe he ever considered that someone in the world would care for his well-being aside from those who exploited him to stay in power. So why would Rosethorn be any different?

And yet, she dove right in. She did her best to teach him what life in Winding Circle was life. She did her best to introduce discipline to his life. She did her best to give him the stability of a schedule, of chores, of responsibility. Did she know? Did she know how much she’d affect that boy from Hajra? Did she know that he’d come to love her so much that he would plummet after her into the jaws of death, all so he could pull her back to life? Or did she merely recognizes Briar’s needs, never expecting that he’d ever return the love and admiration like this? Of course that’s what she did. She gave him a chance to thrive and flourish underneath her guidance, and the Briar Moss at the end of this book is what grew from that work.

Briar chose. Briar chose to love Rosethorn. He chose to go after her when she died, despite that he was warned not to cling to her in death. He chose to resist all the temptations of the world beyond the living. He chose to walk along a path that gave him blisters, that cut his feet, that constantly tried to trip him. He chose to race after his teacher and beg her to come back to life with him.

“‘Scuze me for thinking it’s worth it to pick up a few ouches!” he cried. She was not coming back for any street rat. Briar had playmates to look after him. Briar didn’t need a great plant-mage who kept his heart in her pocket. “‘Scuze me for thinking maybe you liked me enough to want to come home!”

And in that moment, he made himself clear to me. He had truly never believed that anyone had ever liked him as much as Rosethorn before this. He couldn’t even conceive of it, and the love that she gave him was so powerful that he chased her into the afterlife for it.

This is a beautifully written chapter, and I couldn’t possibly quote everything I liked. There’s too much of it. Suffice to say that I felt betrayed (BECAUSE THE LAST CHAPTER WAS PAINFUL ENOUGH AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE AND WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS), overwhelmed (THEY JUST FOUND THE CURE, HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING), and then summarily destroyed. Actually, I have to quote the thing that totally ruined me:

She had called to him to come down and work in her garden the day after his arrival at Discpline, the twentieth day of Goose Moon – which was tomorrow. The girls would be vexed at getting so little time to prepare, but they would adjust. They would know, as he did, that his life began when Rosethorn had invited him into her world.

I mean, I’m tearing up typing that right now. Briar Moss can be loved, and he is loved. And that means the goddamn world to me, as someone who has struggled for decades to believe that he can be loved, too.

Mark Links Stuff

– The Mark Does Stuff Tour 2015 is now live and includes dates across the U.S., Canada, Europe, the U.K., and Ireland. Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates / Appearances page.
– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next Double Features for Mark Watches will be the remainder of The Legend of Korra, series 8 of Doctor Who, and Kings. On Mark Reads, Diane Duane’s Young Wizards series will replace the Emelan books.
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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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