Mark Reads ‘The Westing Game’: Chapters 5 / 6

In the fifth and sixth chapters of The Westing Game, I UNDERSTAND NOTHING. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Westing Game.

Chapter Five: Sixteen Heirs / Chapter Six: The Westing Will

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST READ.

Trigger Warning: There will be talk of ableism and racism in this review.

  • WOW, I LIKE ABSOLUTELY NO PART OF GRACE WINDSOR WEXLER. She embodies like everything ugly about privilege and power. She’s immensely classist; she constantly looks down on those around her; SHE’S A RACIST; and she openly favors the daughter who is more traditionally feminine than the other. As long as Grace gets a NEGATIVE inheritance, I’m cool with this book.
  • So, there are so many details revealed in these two chapters, and if this truly is going to be a Clue-like mystery, I’m going to try to keep track of them. For instance, I’m glad it was confirmed that Crow is the cleaning woman for Sunset Towers. She also acts as if she knew Sam Westing in some other capacity, though… well, I’ll get to her bizarre behavior later.
  • As someone who wore a lot of hand-me-downs while his spoiled sister got new outfits all the time, I feel a particular affinity for all things Turtle Wexler. I’VE GOT YOUR BACK.
  • WHY IS GRACE’S CROSS IN SAM WESTING’S HANDS???? THAT IS SO CREEPY.
  • D. Denton Deere sucks, too. I hate people who think they can just diagnose anyone they want on a whim. You’re going to be a shitty doctor, dude, because you’re already not respecting people’s privacy.
  • Did Flora accidentally pull Turtle’s braid before? The two are much friendlier here than I expected.
  • I think I should really document all sixteen people who are considered heirs just for the sake of it. LET’S DO IT.

The Westing Heirs

  1. Grace Wexler
  2. Angela Wexler
  3. Turtle Wexler
  4. Doctor Wexler
  5. D. Denton Deere
  6. Flora Baumbach
  7. Otis Amber
  8. Sandy
  9. Doug Hoo
  10. Mr. Hoo
  11. Madame Hoo
  12. Theo Theodorakis
  13. Chris Theodorakis
  14. J.J. Ford
  15. Crow
  16. Sydelle Pulaski

Okay, so that’s all sixteen of them, all of whom live in the Sunset Towers, which is in no way creepy or unsettling.

  • It’s also established very early on just how antagonistic this is going to be. Chris is treated poorly because he’s disabled, and Theo has to remind people to speak to him like an actual person, not a baby. And then Angela rushes from the room because… I don’t get it? Is this some weird, misplaced sense of sympathy?
  • What the hell was that weird line about Theo’s skin being darker than Judge Ford’s?
  • OKAY LIKE. I don’t think the text portrays this sympathetically at all, which is good, but Y’ALL. SYDELLE IS FAKING A DISEASE THAT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST IN ORDER TO GET ATTENTION. WOW, THAT’S SO AWFUL.
  • I suspected that shit was about to get real when Edgar Plum called the will “eccentric,” but WHAT THE FUCK HAVE Y’ALL GOTTEN ME INTO.
  • Okay, all of these people are Sam Westing’s nephews and nieces? That was bad enough, but then SAM WESTING WROTE IN A COMMAND TO GRACE WINDSOR WEXLER THAT WAS PERFECTLY TIMED WHAT THE FUCK
  • HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.
  • OH MY GOD THIS IS TOTALLY A MURDER MYSTERY. CUE FORTY THOUSAND REFERENCES TO CLUE THE MOVIE BECAUSE IT’S THE BEST THING EVER.
  • HOW
  • Is Chris’s reaction to the second point of the will an actual acknowledgment that he knows who murdered Sam Westing???
  • Y’all, the actual will is a demand that these heirs solve a murder mystery to determine which one of the heirs killed Sam Westing and then triggered the actual will in the first place, and that sentence just broke my brain.
  • I am still confused as to whether or not the third point ends as Otis says it does. Edgar doesn’t finish his sentence.
  • WHAT IS THE WESTING GAME. IS IT SOMETHING BEYOND THIS WILL??? Oh my god, it’s real-life Clue, isn’t it???
  • what the flying fuck does Judge Ford’s letter say? I DO LOVE THAT SOME PEOPLE TURN TO MAKE SURE SAM WESTING IS ACTUALLY DEAD BECAUSE RIGHT.
  • I am so lost. I AM SO LOST.

Please note that the original text/videos contain uses of the words “crazy,” “invalid,” “stupid,” “mad,” and “insane.”

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Mark Links Stuff

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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