Mark Reads ‘John Dies at the End’: Chapter 7

In the seventh chapter of John Dies at the End, I seriously missed so much shit in the last chapter. And the whole book. And everything. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read John Dies At The End.

Chapter Seven: Arnie Thinks David Is Full of Shit

BECAUSE WHY WOULDN’T YOU? If someone sat you down and told you this shit, just as it appears here, would you believe it? It’s nice, then, that this story openly addresses this. On top of this, the book does something else I haven’t experienced in a long time: IT GIVES US AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. If the text of the chapters from the perspective of David is exactly what he told Arnie, then there’s no way to tell which things were real and which were hyperbolic inventions. It’s frustrating on the one hand because what did I just read? But it’s realistic in terms of how David tells stories. It explains why he’s so over-the-top as he relates this tale to Arnie. I don’t have reason to believe that the main facts of the story are false; it seems like David may have made up the smaller details. Or misremembered them. (That makes me want to go back with a fine-tooth comb and see what inconsistencies are in the narrative. Oh god, that means David Wong had to purposely write mistakes into his own book.)

I also totally missed the fact that this black gunk made people disappear. That’s why that man screamed, “Becky!” Oh shit, what else changed? This makes me want to re-read the last six chapters over again to see if there’s a reference to a character that only briefly appears and never shows up again. Ugh, what a disturbing idea. So… how come this doesn’t happen with people who take soy sauce? I’m still not sure of the differentiation between soy sauce and these creatures. They’re both alive, but one appears to be more of a conduit than anything else.

“You gotta understand… Vegas was just the beginning.”

What the fuck? There’s more??? Of course there is. And I bet it’s only going to get worse.

Mark Links Stuff

– I have redesigned! Check out this post explaining the new changes, which includes the start of a permanent archive of all Mark Watches videos!
The Mark Does Stuff Summer Tour is happening soon! Check out the posted dates, suggest new ones, help bring me to YOUR TOWN.
– I have been nominated for a Hugo in the Fan Writer category! If you’d like more information or to direct friends/family to vote for me, I have a very informational post about what I do that you can pass along and link folks to!
- Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is now published and available for purchase! It’s available in ebook AND physical book format, and you can also get a discount for buying the ENTIRE SET of digital books: $25 for 7 BOOKS!!!
- Video commissions are open, and you can commission a Mark Reads/Watches video for just $25!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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