Mark Predicts ‘The Woman Who Rides Like a Man’

I want to say that I’ll be good at this, but who am I kidding? This is going to be abysmal, and y’all are just going to sit there and cackle at how wrong I am.

Let’s first address my predictions for In the Hand of the Goddess.

  • Jonathan and Alanna will get in trouble for sneaking out. Nope. Oh god, I seriously was so wrong about this. 0/1
  • The Bazhir will be reluctantly excited about them ridding the Black City of the Nameless Ones. Nope. 0/2. THIS IS A GOOD START.
  • The Bazhir will NOT move into the Black City, instead choosing to burn it to the ground. Hahaha, WHAT. 0/3
  • Sir Myles will find out about Alanna’s secret. HE ALREADY KNEW OMG. 1/4
  • One of the pages won’t survive the Ordeal. I’m guessing Raoul. :(:(:( Well, I tried. 1/5
  • Jonathan and George will stop being friends. NOOOOO. What. 1/6
  • Alex will betray the Prince. what the fuck. Well, he did attack Alanna! What’s going to happen to him now that Roger is dead? Don’t answer that. 1/7
  • DUKE ROGER IS TOTALLY EVIL. I DON’T BELIEVE THE PRINCE. And we’ll find out in the next book. Yes! Finally! 2/8
  • Alanna will be in the hand of a goddess? wtf I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS TITLE MEANS I guess??? Given the first chapter. THIS COUNTS. 3/9
  • Alanna will save Jonathan’s life by the end of the book. I wanted to count this on a technicality, since she killed Roger, but I expected something more explicit, so let’s just go with WRONG. 3/10
  • We’ll find out why Jonathan is the Night-One. Hahaha, why was I so obsessed with this detail? 3/11
  • Everyone else will remain friends? Please? This actually doesn’t count because plenty of folks lose Roger as a friend. DAMN IT I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD BE AN EASY ONE. 3/12
  • I will be wrong about 90% of this. Nope. More like 77%. I’m still awful at this. 3/13

Okay, so, bright and early on Monday, I’ll start the third book in the Song of the Lioness quartet, The Woman Who Rides Like A Man. Oh god, THAT TITLE. Here are my poorly-formed predictions for this book:

  • Alanna will fight a dragon. COME ON, WHY NOT? There’s a talking cat, so why can’t there be dragons in this fictional world?
  • We will meet a new tribe/race/society of people we’ve not seen before.
  • Coram will die at some point during the journey. Look, I’m just trying to protect myself in advance. There is nothing wrong with this.
  • Alanna will get separated from her horse for at least one chapter.
  • She will fight someone by chapter three.
  • Her adventure will involve saving a man! OMG subvert that damsel in distress trope. DO IT.
  • She won’t see anyone aside from Coram or Faithful who was in the first two books in this third book.
  • The “adventure” she seeks out will take up the whole of the third book.
  • She’ll make a new friend!
  • She will meet one of George’s thieves.
  • Butts?
  • The last book gave me VIRTUALLY NOTHING TO GO ON, so I’m really grasping for straws here.
  • Alanna will have another conversation with the Mother.
  • At the end of the book, she will go back to Court.

All right, see y’all on Monday! Or tomorrow if you’re reading Feed. YOU SHOULD BE READING FEED.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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