Mark Reads ‘The Sandman’: 9×05 – Part Five

In the sixty-first issue of The Sandman, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Sandman.

“Part Five”

SWEET BABY DUMBLEDORE WHAT IS GOING ON.

  • OH MY GOD, HIPPOLYTA IS ALREADY GROWING SNAKES IN HER HAIR.
  • one of them is drinking water WHY IS THIS KIND OF CUTE TO ME.
  • You know, I kind of like that Hippolyta doesn’t really freak out about turning into one of the Gorgon sisters at all. She’s mostly like, “Well, okay, I’m not interested, but thanks?”
  • “Can I have more water, please? My hair drank most of it.” BLESS THIS BOOK FOREVER.
  • I love Rose Walker’s journal entry on the things that school never teaches you. I don’t find it ridiculous at all, and for real, we should have a class in high school called DEALING WITH THE SHIT LIFE THROWS AT YOU, and it’s all about these very things Rose brings up: falling in love, death, being poor, or anything worth knowing.
  • no.
  • NO.
  • OH MY GOD NO.
  • ZELDA. 🙁 🙁 🙁
  • Oh my god, for real, every panel with Zelda and Rose was agonizing to read. I’ve lost a couple friends to AIDS, one during college who I watched die much like Rose is watching Zelda die here. He died without telling his parents what was wrong with him. They were so Christian that he hadn’t even come out to them, let alone tell them he’d contracted HIV. I remember going to his funeral and seeing them and just hating everything about them because they didn’t want anything to do with any of those friends of him because they believed it was our fault their son died of AIDS.
  • Anyway, this is just fucking heartbreaking. I assume Chantal is dead, too? Fuck, FUCK. I can’t. This was like a punch right in the goddamn feelings.
  • “It’s a vigil. That’s what it is. It’s a vigil.” BRB, going to sit in a bathtub of my own goddamn tears. This is so gut-wrenching and horrible to read. Ah, Gaiman, why are you doing this to me?
  • Every issue of this volume concerns death so far. It’s fucking me up. There’s going to be no way to escape the ending of Worlds’ End, is there? There’s so much death here, and I haven’t even gotten to the worst one.
  • Holy shit, Rose’s grandmother sent her a message? WHAT’S IN THAT HOUSE????
  • The Corinthian actually is a very fascinating creation, and I’m totally into this idea that the second version of this being is aware of the previous one.
  • The entire part where the Corinthian defends his nature by comparing himself to Matthew is kind of awesome. Also, part of me wants a spin-off series where the Corinthian and Matthew fight crime. You’re welcome.
  • Okay, but shouldn’t Dream know if Daniel is dead? Why isn’t he consulting Death first? Oh shit, he really is going to be tricked, isn’t he?
  • Oh god, the interlude in the land of Faerie makes me so sad for Nuala. She was just starting to find her own place in the Dreaming, and now she’s been ripped out of it, returned to her original world. There, she doesn’t fit in at all. So, it seems obvious that she’ll contact Dream using the jewel. I think it’ll happen before the end of this volume.
  • “Don’t I get that anyway?” No, for real, Hippolyta might soon become my favorite secondary character in this series.
  • HOW DOES THAT OLD MAN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HIPPOLYTA? Who is he????
  • HOW THE FUCK CAN THAT PHOTO OF DANIEL TALK? I DON’T LIKE THIS.
  • Rose Walker, I haven’t commented on this yet, but your hair looks fantastic.
  • “Like I said: weird shit. You think you’re the only one?” YES, I LOVE THIS. LIFE IS FULL OF WEIRD SHIT. LET’S EMBRACE IT.
  • Who the hell are those reflections of Hippolyta that she talks to??? What is this supposed to mean? I’m scared.
  • THE DETECTIVE WAS LOKI. NO. NO WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!? Oh fuck, that panel where the gun changes to a cigarette and “Mister Pinkerton’s” chin seems elongated and pointy was the exact point where I realized what was going on. So Loki has been teasing Hippolyta with the theft of her child THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.
  • No, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO, DID YOU JUST KILL CARLA? FUCK. FUCK!!!!!!!
  • Oh my god, what the hell have I gotten myself into?

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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