Mark Reads Breaking Dawn / Help Design MRHP Covers!

OH HELL YES. Do y’all realize what this means? Mark this date on your calendars: DECEMBER 5TH, 2011 WAS THE DAY MARK FINISHED HIS LAST TWILIGHT BOOK AND WILL NEVER HAVE TO READ THESE BOOKS EVER AGAIN. I hear angels singing someone. And that means MORE HARRY POTTER!!!!!

First things first: BUY MY NEW BOOK!

Mark Reads Breaking Dawn is the final eBook in the Mark Reads Twilight series, and it’s got 144 pages of mind-fuckery, wank, and the slow degradation of my mind over the course of thirty-eight chapters and an epilogue. I’ve heard that every time you buy this book, fourteen French bulldogs appear outside your door, awaiting a cuddle party. Don’t take my word for it; just buy the book and you’ll see this is true.

The book is available in PDF, Kindle, and ePub (Nook, iBook) format for just $2.99. What does this money go towards, you ask?

  • General upkeep of Mark Reads and Mark Watches. (Unlimited bandwidth ain’t cheap, y’all, and we need LOTS of it around here.)
  • Funding for the Mark Does Stuff Tour of 2012. I am still finalizing dates, but folks on the east coast should get hella stoked soon. YOU SHOULD.
  • Future projects! One of which I will discuss in a bit!

I am inching ever close to being able to support myself off of eBook sales and Google AdSense payments, but I’m still not quite there. Any help you can give me is appreciated; I would love to be able to do this full-time and run multiple series at once, as well as host more special events. Thank you in advance! Which brings me to the best thing ever:


The time has come for me to convert all seven books into an eBook format, as I’ve done with Mark Reads Twilight, but this is not going to be an easy process. I have decided that these books deserve a very special treatment, and that’s going to be rather time-consuming on a lot of fronts. First and foremost, all seven of these eBooks will include adapted reviews in a book format AND a complete re-read of the series. I want these books to be the very best digital books imaginable, so I thought it would be fun to include the original reviews, and then a brand new set of reviews with the re-reads of them. TWO BOOKS IN ONE BOOK oh god can any of you handle this shit.

In the next week, I will be handpicking my new batch of editors for the Mark Reads Harry Potter series and working through the manuscript for Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I expect to have the first book done by Christmas time SO IT’S LIKE I’M SANTA CLAUS OR SOMETHING.

But I really want these books to amazing, so I’d like to formally announce the very first Mark Reads contest, and it’s a doozy!

the very best contest of 2011

Dear wonderful artists of the Harry Potter community: I want the covers for these eBooks to make people do this:

But I am not generally a fan of crowdsourcing this stuff for “recognition” or “bragging rights” because let’s get real here: that shit doesn’t buy vegan Twinkies, does it? (I found a place here in San Francisco that makes them. I can’t even deal. They are fucking criminal.)

So, ready for this?

  1. Produce a general idea/template/sketch/rough draft for what you think the covers for the Mark Reads Harry Potter series of eBooks should look like. You do not need to complete all seven; you are welcome to provide the first one as an example of the style you want to go for. Keep in mind that I’d prefer all seven had some stylistic component in common; otherwise, let your creativity wander! Again, you do not need to come up with the designs for all seven.
  2. Email your submission to markreadsandwatches [at] gmail [dot] com. Feel free to defend/sell/write a dissertation to explain anything. I’m totally down to read any contextual info you want to provide.
  3. Do so by Wednesday, December 21st, 11:59pm PST. Sixteen days is enough time, yes?
  4. Sit back and feel good about being awesome.

What will the winner get?

  • I will use your covers for all seven books.
  • Every Harry Potter fan will think you are like Luna’s best friend or something.
  • Oh, and I’ll give you $100 for EACH cover. Yes, that’s $700 total, but $100 payable each time within 24 hours of each book being released. (And the only reason I have this stipulation is because I once paid a designer to do the themes for both my sites, gave them money to do it, and then they disappeared forever. You’ll get the money for them, but only after each one is published.)
  • I’ll probably high five you a bunch of times.
  • Internet fame.

For those submitting art: No one will ever see your submissions, and they do not belong to me. I will not ever use them for anything ever unless I choose you as the winner, and then we can draw up a contract if you so please to commission the covers from you.

I AM SO EXCITED TO START DOING THESE. Editing/writing will be so much easier BECAUSE I WILL ACTUALLY LIKE THE SOURCE MATERIAL. Plus, it’ll be fantastic to re-visit the books and commit to actually doing the re-reads. I expect these books to be at least double the size as the Twilight ones, so they may be a couple dollars more. But I’ve already seen them pirated online and if you can’t afford them, I don’t care if people pass them about. I’m just happy that people LIKE MY WORDS.

One last note: To all my LeakyCon friends who gave me your email addresses, I still have them, and all of you wonderful people who saw my panel will still get your super mega awesome gifts. PROMISE. And the first one is coming soon!

Thank you all for the support and OH MY GOD HARRY POTTER YES THIS IS A VICTORY.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
This entry was posted in Harry Potter, Twilight and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to Mark Reads Breaking Dawn / Help Design MRHP Covers!

  1. Remy says:

    YAY YAY YAY!!!!! Congratulations on finally being done FOREVER with Twilight, and I am so excited to finally get the Harry Potter reviews!!!! That will be a fabulous Christmas present! Thank you for everything you've done for us, Mark!

  2. Natalia (@mellafe) says:

    I don't think I can handle all of this amazingment (it's a word!)

  3. @lula34 says:


  4. karate0kat says:

    So, like, I graduated in May with a degree in art, and have proceeded to not make a single thing since because DEPRESSION and now that I'm back in an upswing I've been looking for something to inspire me to create again. In other words

    <img src=""&gt;

    And also

    <img src=""&gt;

    I'm so happy you get to be working with something you enjoy again, lol

  5. Natalia (@mellafe) says:

    Hey, I'm one of your LeakyCon friends!! Such a shame no one ever recorded your panel. Sadface forever. It would've been so amazing to see it all again. ANYWAY. POTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!

    <img src=""&gt;

  6. SisterCoyote says:

    Yes, book covers, art, wonderful awesome yes but Mark and Readers Of Mark I think you are missing the main point here.

    VEGAN. TWINKIES. Guys! Vegan twinkies!


    (No, seriously, somebody on the East Coast better get their act together and do something about that. I am Teh Jealous.)

  7. MajorWhoaButWhy says:

    Can you submit more than one if you have different style ideas?

  8. I wish I could draw. I need money for LeakyCon 2012.

  9. Kate says:

    Yes! I'm so unbelievably excited!

  10. Awesome! I’ll try my hand at the covers 😀

    Will you still do/post the reread here on Mark Reads? I love it XD

  11. bell_erin_a says:

    Oh, Mark, but my drawings are teh sads! "For reference, I just tried to draw Harry Potter. Surely you are better at this than me." Sadly, I'm not entirely sure about that because even my stick-figure-drawing skills are pretty questionable. Anyway, moving off the topic of my horrible, horrible art skills (but can we just talk for a second about how painful elementary school art class was?!?), YAY I AM SO EXCITED YOU ARE DONE WITH TWILIGHT FOREVER! AND I BOUGHT A KINDLE OVER BLACK FRIDAY SO I AM ALL READY TO SPEND LOTS OF MONEY I DON'T HAVE ON BOOKS, WOOOO! And I haven't been around here much lately (haven't y'all missed my wordiness? Haha, just kidding), but I am going to have to start popping my head back in for Harry Potter postings.

  12. Liz says:

    Hooray hooray, I'm a LeakyCon fan!! I was afraid you'd forgotten about us… but no!

  13. Becky_J_ says:

    …..yeah, see, still read it as markreadssandwiches. EVERY DAMN TIME I TELL YOU (although I don't doubt that you can read sandwiches, I bet you can read ANYTHING)

    And art? For you? For Harry Potter?? YES PLEASE. I shall do my very very best!!

  14. @jpegfilms says:

    Hey Mark, I've been working on some designs since you announced this a few months ago. Can I submit multiple designs/variations? Also, are there copyright issues that need to be followed? (ie no using any aspect of the original covers or art?)

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:

      Yes!!! Submit as many as you want. ALSO YES. NO COPYRIGHTED IMAGES OR LOGOS. But the people who have submitted all seem to have figured that out already.

  15. magpie says:

    Hey Mark! I was at your LeakyCon panel (managed to not give you my email at the time) but am also one of your current editors. Er… do I need to do anything at this point?

  16. feveredbunnyink says:

    Oh man, I've been waiting for this contest to start! Guess I really will need to buy those replacement pen nibs soon…

  17. rissreader says:

    Yay! This is great news.
    I didn't start following Mark Reads until close to the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. But, since I'm not following the current book I decided to go back and read the Harry Potter reviews from the beginning. I've been enjoying my re-read and I've gotten up to the end of book 4.
    I'm looking forward to the re-read reviews. I really miss the Potter universe and this community of Potter reading fans.

  18. bookworm67 says:

    Mark Reads Harry Potter book releases? New reviews?? 2 books in one?! **parties**

    If I can find time between exams to draw up something, I definitely will (I already have some awesome ideas)! You know, even though I'm extremely unlikely to win, the money wouldn't matter at all for me. I'd be more stoked about "whoa my art was chosen for the two most amazing things ever, mark reads AND harry potter!"

    Also, EAST COAST TOUR? YES PLEASE come to DC/Maryland! 😀

    • @amykins13 says:


      • bookworm67 says:

        YES THAT WOULD BE AWESOME except I just realized something really stupid: I'm living in Kenya now. Whoa. Okay. I'm not in denial, I swear. Well, maybe it'll be next year when I get back home 🙂

        Maryland/DC readers unite!

        • stephanie says:

          no no no ….he's coming to boston!!

          • xpanasonicyouthx says:

            I should be coming to both DC and Boston HELP ME FIND BOOK STORES OR LITERACY GROUPS I CAN WORK WITH. People are not emailing me back!

            • Lisa says:

              In DC, I recommend Politics and Prose. Good independent bookstore.

            • barnswallowkate says:

              Like Lisa says, Politics and Prose always has authors come through. I think Farpoint would be great for you but (a) I've never been (b) it's only 2 months away (c) it's in Baltimore, not DC (d) I don't know how to get you be a presenter (but I could find out). I could definitely get a room at a Montgomery County library (just outside DC) but that would be more like a meetup and less like having a store or con to promote your stuff.

              Maybe we should start a forum thread for DC-ish people to get some ideas and work something out? You can have a team of internet personal assistants! I can't get into the forums right now though, are they down temporarily or did you get rid of them?

              OMG this was my first comment in 8 weeks no wonder existence has seemed a little less amazing lately.

  19. flootzavut says:

    book now on my Kindle wahey!!!!!

    also I AM EXCITE for having two sets of reviews for MRHP, BRILLIANT 😀

  20. PrefectSarah says:

    Buying for my nook IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner!!!

    PS: I still go back to the old site and re-read your first reviews of HP over and over when I'm bored at work. Bless you man, bless you so much…

  21. Lady X says:


  22. pennylane27 says:



  23. Nihstel says:

    How do you get this on a Kindle?

  24. ImSharona says:

    Is there any way to, uh, audition? for an editor position?

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:

      There was about a month ago, but I have to sift through 140 applications this weekend, so I would advise against this, only because it would just add more work for me. :/

  25. pica_scribit says:

    Mark, you are making me wish I was in any way artistically inclined, but I doubt you want my squiggly stick figures for your awesome ebooks. Ah, well. I am sure there is some great talent among your followers. You will no doubt find someone worthy of this project. I do am some skill at editing (I understate; I am a stickler when it comes to the English language), but I worry that I wouldn't have the time necessary to do credit to the project. Can't wait for the books, though. Looking forward to reading them on my Kindle!

  26. arnenieberding says:

    WOAH, IT'S LONG SINCE I'VE COMMENTED. (yes, that warrants caps lock)

    I'm going to give this a try. Not that I have much spare time, but I could use the practice. Also, I have ideas. Ideas are good. Until I try to execute them of course. Sigh.

    Wish I could read/watch along more, but I'm afraid I've developed my own list of reading and watching material. It also doesn't help when school gives you a long list of books to read (while I'm already reading 5 books right now). Heh.

    ANYWAY, this post has reminded me of when I first started reading here (thanks to mugglenet) and I read all of your HP reviews ('till HBP) in two days.


  27. Art says:

    I think you'll enjoy this little cartoon. 😀

    (I don't know if this is the way to add a picture, but even if it does't you should at least get the link…)

  28. Arjuna says:

    Have you seen this? It's kinda nifty. George Takei attempts to broker a peace between Star Wars and Star Trek fans by uniting them against a common sparkly enemy:

  29. Milliesct says:

    LONG time reader, but first time commenting. I'm really excited and inspired to work on these book covers. I started reading HP when I was 12, so I have loved reading your reviews and getting to be a part of you reading these books that have been so important to me.

    I used to draw/design all the time, but I'm now in law school (blech) and not only does it take up all of my time, but it's put a pretty severe drain on my creativity too. I have something to look forward to working on once exams are over!

    Thanks again, and I can't wait to get to work 🙂

  30. Lana says:

    Oh. Oh my god. Mark. Mark.
    I think I'm getting an eReader for Christmas. Oh my god, I am literally crying tears of fucking joy over here. You are awesome, please never stop being Luna's best friend.

  31. enchantedsleeper says:

    Hey Mark, this might give you a laugh X3

Comments are closed.