Mark Reads ‘Ella Enchanted’: Chapter 7 / 8

In the seventh and eight chapters of Ella Enchanted, I AM SO ANGRY. FEEL MY RAGE. If that intrigues you, then it’s time for Mark to yell at a fictional character in Ella Enchanted.

Chapter Seven / Chapter Eight


  • But before we get to Hattie, there is much to discuss!
  • Ella, that was a close call. I didn’t need another example of what humans could do upon discovering Ella’s curse, but you better believe that Char and the rest of the kingdom finding out would have been an UTTER DISASTER.
  • Despite that Ella’s words soothed the gnome child, she was still aware of the fact that she didn’t quite know what she was saying, and she felt a bit guilty when an actual gnome asked her to repeat them. Eleanor Frell: completely aware of the pitfalls of cultural appropriation while she’s still a child. You have no excuse.
  • I’m writing these in advance, so I don’t know what comments were on yesterday’s post, but I imagine y’all are still cackling at me trying to pronounce Gnomic. I tried it, and therefore, you can’t criticize me! Insert that Daniel Radcliffe gif here.
  • “Danger, a quest, three figures. They are close to you, but they are not your friends.” She let my hand go. “Beware of them!”
  • Seriously, these three are the WORST THE ABSOLUTE WORST. The first thing Hattie says to Ella the next morning? “How few things you have.”
  • I can’t. I cannot deal with these characters. And you know, I thought that since Dame Olga was to remain behind, things wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe these girls wouldn’t act as they did before without their mother around!
  • Oh, no, she’s saying goodbye to Mandy. IT’S REAL. IT CAN’T GO AWAY.
  • “I would never embrace a cook.” Hattie, I hope you never get another hug. LOOK, I KNOW THAT IT’S KIND OF UNFAIR TO HATE A CHILD SO MUCH BUT HATTIE IS EVIL. And we haven’t even gotten to the worst parts.
  • Initially, I just thought these girls were misguided. They were brought up by a woman who valued class standing, money, and traditional gender roles. Perhaps they’d change in the presence of Ella! And so Ella deals with all the terrible questions until the point that Hattie unknowingly orders Ella to show her the necklace she’s wearing.
  • Y’all, this was so stressful. God, this made me realize how common orders and commands are in everyday speech! At first, Hattie and Olive are, at best, simply entitled. They want something. They demand it. I’m sure they’ve gotten plenty of things this way. But then Hattie notices a bizarre pattern, one that’s undeniable. She figures out that Ella obeys any command given her, and thus, the young terror is born. I bet she’d hang out with Draco Malfoy and enjoy it.
  • That’s a different point. (Holy god, someone write that fic.) Hattie not only uses this to take the necklace that belonged to Ella’s mother, but she forces Ella to do so out of “friendship.”
  • Someone in a book perverted the idea of friendship, which is a sacred act for me, so yeah, I’m not going to like that person.
  • Chapter eight somehow makes it worse and does so in a way that hits all my buttons for RAGE MACHINE. I don’t like entitled people. I don’t like people who have everything taking from those who have very little or nothing at all. I don’t like everything Hattie stands for or will stand for.
  • Olive, though? I’m torn. She clearly hasn’t figured out what’s going on, and she’s more aloof than anything else. She’s demanding, but she’s a child and she like shiny coins! I don’t feel like she’s at Hattie’s level. Which is good. I hope no one is at Hattie’s level.
  • “When I opened it, instead of a fairy tale, I found an illustration of Mandy! She was dicing a turnip. Next to the turnip was the chicken I had watched her pluck that morning. She was crying. I had suspected she was fighting back tears when she hugged me.” Well that’s just the rudest thing imaginable. I don’t have any more room in my heart for emotions about fictional characters!!!! STOP IT.
  • I was so relieved that the book appeared as a boring history tome to Hattie. It was a small victory, and Ella needed it.
  • Which is an understatement of the century because it’s practically the only thing that Ella gets to keep in this chapter. It’s not lost on me that this is literally a case of a character who struggles with her own agency, so I took great joy in the small things that Ella did to show that she had some control over her own life. Hattie is revolting here. She makes Ella her “lady-in-waiting,” though it was fantastic to watch Ella drop Hattie’s shoes out of the window into a bucket of slop. Again, this is about small victories. What can Ella do to demonstrate her own willpower over Hattie? God, that’s such a cool theme to have in a fairy-tale, y’all.
  • Not cool? Hattie STARVING ELLA by ordering her not to eat. This is SERIAL KILLER BEHAVIOR. Like the last chapter, though, Olive is blissfully unaware of what her sister is doing. She might be confused about why Ella isn’t eating, but she hasn’t caught on to Hattie’s scheme.
  • I just realized that Hattie basically stands in as a metaphorical ogre. She might be bigger and cruel, but her real danger is the fact that she knows Ella’s secret and uses the knowledge of it against Ella.
  • Wow, I hate a child. What have y’all done to me?

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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