Mark Predicts ‘Lady Knight’

WHAT? ONLY ONE BOOK LEFT? THIS IS A TRAGEDY. But that does mean I’ve got another prediction post to embarrass myself with. Those are always fun! This time is especially ridiculous, not just because it’s the final Protector of the Small book, but because I have like one thing I can truly predict. Okay, maybe two things. HERE COMES A LOT OF GUESSING.

So, let’s go over my Squire predictions first:

  • I assume Kel becomes a knight at the end of the book. Huzzah! 1/1
  • So does Neal! Huzzah! 2/2
  • Kel will have her first kiss. More huzzah! 3/3
  • We’ll find out who kidnapped organized the kidnapping of Lalasa and Jump. I AM ON A ROLL. 4/4
  • I think it was Joren. I AM A WIZARD. 5/5
  • Kel will have difficulty finding a knight to be a squire under. TECHNICALLY. 6/6
  • But she will gain one by the halfway point of the book. OKAY. This is also technically true? I said by the halfway point. That happened! I just want a really good score for once. 🙁 7/7
  • Someone will get kicked out of the squire program for breaking the rules. OKAY DO VINSON AND JOREN COUNT? Wait, they fit the next one more, so I’ll count it for that one. 7/8
  • Another person will simply not make it to the end and won’t become a knight. Joren. Vinson. oh my god. 8/9
  • (Please let it be Vinson or Garvey. Or both of those.) I HAD NO IDEA. 9/10
  • More Sir Myles? Actually, yes! 10/11
  • More Daine? Wow, I totally cheated. 11/12
  • More Jump? Seriously, the next prediction is so spot on. 12/13
  • I don’t know what I’m doing? The goddamn truth, y’all. -1,000 / 14
  • SO MANY THINGS WERE RESOLVED ALREADY. WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN? I’ll take away more points just because I was so ridiculously unprepared for Squire. -10,000 / 15.

So, the problem I foresee with these predictions is that I have no fucking clue what to predict. Well, let’s start off with the couple things I think we’ll see in Lady Knight.

  • Kel will find out what the hell the Chamber was talking about when it showed her that small man, and she’ll use that information to stop the Murdering Child Soul Robots. That is their official name, FYI.
  • Kel will find a way to be with Cleon by the end of the series.
  • Kel will not be a knight alongside Raoul; I think King Jonathan will send her elsewhere. (More Bazhir, please!)
  • Owen will become a knight!

And then I don’t know. Every plot thread from First Test through Squire has been resolved! I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE IS LEFT. So…. stuff?

  • Kel and George Cooper will team up to fight pirates.
  • Sir Myles will adopt fourteen cats.
  • Lord Wyldon will open up a school for lady pages. (Actually, this would rule so much.)
  • Raoul always sounds so attractive. Sorry, that’s not a prediction, it was just on my mind.
  • Gods???
  • Wait okay, can we please find out what the force/god is behind the Chamber of the Ordeal is? Because what the fuck.
  • I am clearly just posting bullshit at this point. I am unfairly unprepared for Lady Knight, my friends.

I start Lady Knight on Thursday! IT’S FINALLY HERE YAY.

Mod note: Hey, folks. I know the Master Schedule says today would include the short story “Time of Proving”, and it looks like that got overlooked. Oops! Mark’s already been nudged about it, so you needn’t worry about it. In the meantime, remember that Mark’s videos will be all the more nuntastic because of

Tom Hiddleston saying 'delayed gratification!'

Preach it, Tom.

MARK NOW: Here is my much-delayed reading of “Time of Proving”!!!

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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