In the thirty-seventh issue of The Sandman, my heart hurts forever. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Sandman.
“I Woke Up and One of Us Was Crying”
[Massive trigger warning for transphobia/cissexism]
The end of “A Game of You” destroyed me, and not just because Wanda’s death is just so terribly heartbreaking. I miss her, and she’ll easily be one of the most memorable characters in this whole series. This fucks me up because this happens all of the time. Every single day, trans* folks are misgendered. And more than you think, trans* women are murdered, the vast majority of them being trans* women of color.
And when these women die, this happens. (Do not click that link if you are sensitive to unbelievable dosages of transphobia, a complete misgendering of a person, or violence/death.) Like Wanda’s horrific parents, once a trans* woman dies, the media goes out of their way to kill them all over again by bringing up their birth name or the gender they were assigned when they were born. A black trans* woman was just murdered here in my city, Oakland, only over a month ago. (Note: the article does fairly well until the end, when, UNSURPRISINGLY, there’s yet another dissection of Brandy’s gender. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. THIS IS NOT INFORMATION ANYONE IS OBLIGATED TO EVER.)
Wanda’s parents are horrific in this issue, and it hurts so much to know they care so little for their daughter that they’ll dress her up in clothes she hates, they’ll put the wrong name on her tomb, and that they’ll spend time at her goddamn funeral pissing all over her corpse so that they are more comfortable. YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER JUST DIED I THINK YOUR COMFORT IS THE LAST THING I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT.
And in one act, Barbie decides that the very least she can do as a decent human being is give Wanda a copy of Hyperman, and cross that wretched name off her tombstone and write “Wanda” in Wanda’s favorite color.
It’s a gut-wrenching ending, made all the more painful knowing that this happens all the time. Instead of spending time dissecting this further, I’d like to use this post to insist that folks use some of their time today to educate themselves on this subject. I have found that this post, “Not Your Mom’s Trans 101,” is a good starting point for folks who have no idea what I’m talking about, but please also pay attention to how the media treats trans* folks, especially trans* women of color. Please know that the story told here in “I Woke Up and One of Us Was Crying” may seem fantastical, but it happens all the time. Still! It’s our obligation as cisgender members of this society to devote our time to educating ourselves.
(Note #1: The asterisk after trans* is meant to denote a more inclusive definition of trans instead of a binarist view that only covers trans men and trans women.)
(Note #2: If people would like to link to other resources for people to read, that would rule!)
(Note #3: Any cissexism/transphobia in the comments will be met with the Hammer of Ban. Don’t even try it.)
(Note #4: This post is simplistic only because I don’t believe I should be the one to disseminate this information. I’m not the gatekeeper of this information, and I’d rather not, as someone massively privileged in this area, make it seem like I’m the all-knowing trans wiki or something. I would like to instead direct people to resources written by people who’ve actually lived this experience.)
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