Mark Reads ‘Hogfather’: Part 4

In the fourth part of Hogfather, Death takes over, Susan resists, and Mark is confused. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Discworld.

I am a little confused, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d accidentally skipped a section. But no, this is how the book unfolds, and I’m wondering why Pratchett wasn’t more clear on this. Did Death take over Ernie’s job (making Ernie the Hogfather) or did Death just randomly decide to be the Hogfather? I get that the Discworld books expect the reader to fill in the blanks sometimes, but this actually feels confusing for a different reason. The last scene with Death in it prior to the Hogfather reveal was when he was ushering Ernie into the next world. The next time we see Death, he’s the Hogfather. There’s nothing I can find in the second part of the book to explain why there’s such a sudden jump, but there it is.

So why do this? To mask the reason for Death’s change in occupation? How can Death be Hogfather if the Hogfather hasn’t actually been killed yet? Unless that happened off that page, too, which makes no sense to me either. Wasn’t Teatime’s entire goal to kill Hogfather for the Auditors? Why would Pratchett choose to have that occur off the page? There’s got to be a reason for that to be the mystery, so I’ll cut him some slack. It’s jarring to read, but it must serve some greater purpose.

In the interim, the purpose it serves is giving me a Hogfather that’s a lovely Santa Claus parody. Seriously, this part made it totally worth it:

HAH, YES. HE ACTUALLY SAYS IN HIS LETTER, “I BET YOU DON’T EXIST ‘COS EVERYONE KNOWS ITS YORE PARENTS.” OH, YES, said Death, what what almost sounded like sarcasm, I’M SURE HIS PARENTS ARE JUST IMPATIENT TO BANG THEIR ELBOWS IN TWELVE FEET OF NARROW UNSWEPT CHIMNEY, I DON’T THINK. I SHALL TREAD EXTRA SOOT ON HIS CARPET.

Petty Death is now my favorite Death. I do wish this shed some light on why Death was doing this, but I assume that’ll come later.

“Are you sure we ought to be doing this, master?”

Death stopped, halfway out of the chiney.

CAN YOU THINK OF A BETTER ALTERNATIVE, ALBERT?

And that was it. Albert couldn’t.

Because to me, that suggest that the previous Hogfather is dead, right??? If there’s no alternative, then perhaps Death feels obligated to fulfill this role.

Which is a lovely contrast to Susan, who feels very little obligation to anything but her job. She’s a great governess, and you really do get a sense for how much adoration Gawain and Twyla have for her through this book. Those kids are living out the most literal version of a fantasy YA series that I’ve ever seen. It’s no surprise they look up to Susan so much! But Susan doesn’t think of herself this way. It’s all relatively normal for her, and so she runs as fast and as far as she can from the weirdness of her grandfather. Again, that’s kind of funny because her “normal” life is pretty fucking strange as it is.

Yet she refuses everything brought to her. She slams the window in the raven’s face. (Which is followed up by her threatening a bogeyman who is new in town and doesn’t know to avoid her house. AND SHE GIVES HIM ADVICE ON WHICH HOUSE TO TORMENT. I LOVE IT.) Then, the Death of Rats breaks in and pretends to be fairy on top of the Hogswatch tree, which is just adorable, okay? All this is to get Susan to take them seriously and to go after her grandfather, who is pretending to be the Hogfather. But what could Susan possibly do?

Then we’ve got Teatime and his associates. I’m a bit lost here, too. Where exactly are they? Somewhere on the Unseen University campus, certainly, but is it the tower we know of? What is the “pile” that Sideney refers to? People? Guards? Wizards? What’s behind the door that no one can unlock??? WHY DID THEY NEED TO GET INTO IT???

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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