Mark Reads ‘Looking For Alaska’: thirty-seven days through sixty-two days after

Thirty-seven days after it happens, Miles comes to terms with the “monopoly” he thought he had on Alaska as the Investigation stalls. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Looking For Alaska.

thirty-seven days after

I still might have problems with the execution of Alaska’s characterization, but I’m starting to see how John Green is looping back around to address some of the group’s more problematic behavior, showing us that what they’ve been doing (especially Miles and the Colonel) isn’t exactly a good idea. Without coming outright and saying it, he uses Lara, Takumi, and Dr. Hyde to clue them in to the issues with their decisions.

First of all, he holds Miles accountable for how he treated Lara, while still acknowledging that Miles has been having a difficult time coping with Alaska’s death. Their interaction in this brief chapter is just as short, and Miles realize just how upset Lara is when he bumps into her after a class. He tries to rationalize his behavior internally by thinking that he ignored Lara because he didn’t have “room” to care about her at the same time.

Well, that’s bullshit, and Green makes sure that Miles comes to know this.

forty-five days after

But it’s a few days before this happens. Takumi is finally around a lot more often, and I find him to be a refreshing presence in the group. His awkward and constant silence feels like a statement in and of itself, especially when Miles might want to talk more about Alaska. Not much happens here aside from the convenience store clerk bringing up Alaska’s death, but I do find the final image in the chapter to be a pretty big (if subtle) moment for the Colonel.

The wind blew through Takumi’s rolled-down window in front of me and against my face. I scooted to the middle of the backseat and looked up at the Colonel sitting shotgun, smiling, his face turned to the wind blowing through his window.

I think this is one of the first (or at least very few) moments of happiness from the Colonel, and I love the mental image of it being entirely devoid of any dialogue. He is having a private moment of some sort of satisfaction, and its a rare thing at this point in the story. I simply appreciate it.

forty-six days after

Nearly two months after the last time they spoke, Miles finally decides to talk to Lara, though it takes Takumi guilting him into doing it. Bless that kid, by the way. He can see ringtone through Miles so easily [LOL RINGTONE AUTOCORRECT WHAT ARE YOU DOING], and he’s right about Lara. I mean, he’s sort of crude about it, using the blow job against Miles, but his heart’s in the right place: it’s fucked up to continue to ignore her because of some misplaced justification.

Miles is perpetually awkward, and his apology to Lara is a pretty fine example of that. I commend him for finally doing it, though it is certainly much too late. Did anyone else find Katie’s knee to the groin a bit much? I mean, the guy deserves a lot of scorn from either of them, but it seemed so out of place for someone to do that to a guy she barely knows. Still, Lara decides to actually forgive Miles, and I like that Green shows us that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting; he isn’t necessarily off the hook with her. She makes sure that Miles knows this, too:

“I loved her, and after she died I couldn’t think about anything else. It felt, like, dishonest. Like cheating.”

“That’s not a good reason,” she said.

“I know,” I answered.

She laughed softly. “Well, good then. As long as you know.” I knew I wasn’t going to erase that anger, but we were talking.

Thankfully, Miles recognizes this and doesn’t insist that this be a quick and painless process. Our little Miles is growing up! I know it may not seem like much, but it’s satisfying seeing an author treat the act of apologizing this way. It’s not a magical act at absolves one of all wrongdoing, and it doesn’t make the pain go away either. It’s a first step on the journey towards healing, and it looks like Miles is going to give Lara the space and time to deal with this. That’s a damn fine thing to do.

There’s another great section in this chapter concerning the power of ritual. The Colonel comes up with the idea of throwing an unused cigarette into the lake as a way to sort of honor Alaska.

I was not religious, but I liked rituals. I liked the idea of collecting an action with remembering.

I’m the same way; I even developed a routine of touching a portrait of my father every time I visit my mother’s house, the place where I spent the most time growing up. Like Miles says, the action only has the meaning I’ve assigned it, and I’m perfectly fine with that. It makes me wonder if is Investigation is a ritual for the Colonel in a way. Is it a way to preserve her memory? Is this how he wants to member her, positive or negative? It now seems that the other characters, while slightly interested in their own way, are all just enabling and conceding to the Colonel for his sake. Takumi,met again, vocalizes his own personal distaste for the whole thing:

“I don’t think it would help, to know where she was going. I think this who I’ld make it worse for us.  Just a gut feeling.”

While Miles interprets this as a veiled reference to him making out with Alaska, it makes me wonder further why the Colonel is still pursuing this whole thing. The best answer that I can come up with is the Colonel has no other way he thinks he can deal with his own guilt. If he can find a way to absolve himself of the responsibility of his actions, I think it’s worth it to him to dig into Alaska’s past, to dissect her so that he doesn’t have to feel bad for enabling her own death. It’s a shitty conclusion, sure, but we don’t really know how bad his own guilt is, and the scenario fits. Is he going to let his guilt go before it consumes him? If he really does abandon this Investigation, perhaps he can finally let go.

fifty-one days after

With no more investigation consuming their days, Miles and the group start to get on with their lives. And it’s Dr. Hyde who provides the impetus for Miles to finally acknowledge the absurdity of what they’ve been doing. I am going to cling to the notion that his speech about entropy is a wonderful reference from John Green to Chinua Achebe’s brilliant novel. It fits. A combination of entropy and existentialism appear in this speech of Dr. Hyde’s, a way for Miles to think about how hard he was trying to force the memory of Alaska not to fall apart. But that was always inevitable, and the Colonel’s investigation into all of this could very well tear Alaska’s memory to pieces. But instead of trying to manipulate the narrative to favor his own idea of her, Miles resigns to accept that this is a futile effort. Whatever they discover about Alaska, he has to stop resisting entropy anymore. It will only increase his suffering.

sixty-two days after

As we get closer to the end of this novel (there are less than thirty pages left!), I started wondering how John Green was going to find a way to end this story in so little space. This chapter finally introduces the first hint that the group may find whatever it is they are looking for. While on the pay phone with his mother, he notices a drawing of a daisy on the wall, connecting it to Jake’s conversation with the Alaska just before she freaked out. He presents this to the Colonel, who’s rejuvenated by the reveal, but there’s still a problem he’s quick to point out: why did the daisy trigger the idea that Alaska “forgot” something? And what the hell did she forget that was so upsetting to her?

I personally don’t have the faintest idea at all. I can’t recall any details that might hint to the “answer,” and I’m beginning to think they were never there at all. I think Green is saving that for the ending. But is that going to provide Miles and the Colonel with the satisfaction that they want? Or will the entropy destroy them?