Mark Reads “On Ordeal: Roshaun” – Chapter 3, Part III

In the third part of the third chapter of “On Ordeal: Roshaun,” Roshaun figures out what he needs to do to take on the Lost Aethyr. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Young Wizards. 

I just found this all so satisfying. The answer to Roshaun’s conundrum was in Mevseh and Avseh THE WHOLE TIME, Y’ALL. But even if Duane manages to use a small detail to provide the reader with one hell of a resolution, she never strays from demonstrating the cost of choosing to do good. Sometimes, doing what’s right isn’t the easier option, and Roshaun’s clone is a perfect example of that. 

But I’m jumping ahead of myself! I had no goddamn idea how Roshaun was going to get out of such an impossible predicament:

But what can I do? There’s no way out of this. I can’t walk both paths. I can’t be a paladin and go home. If I go home, I risk my star, my world, my family. If I go out on the High Road forever, I do the Lost One’s will and… and probably die out there alone.

To Duane’s credit, she builds a believably frustrating set of choices for Roshaun. It’s not just a matter of rejecting the Lost Aethyr; Roshaun has to worry about the retaliation he, his family, and his world might face in the wake of such a choice. Look, we know from the previous books that the Lost One is not above being petty and vindictive. (I’m thinking specifically of The Wizard’s Dilemma, but there are plenty of other examples.) This is a real risk, and thus, Roshaun’s calculated response has to take this into account. WHICH MEANS THE SOLUTION SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. He can’t choose to leave home, or whatever he’s meant to help with there will definitely happen. But if he returns home, there’s a very real chance that things will be worse for Wellakh. How the hell are you supposed to make a decision like that? There seemed to be no other option than, “So, exactly how much do you want your people to suffer?” BECAUSE THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN EITHER WAY. 

Except it totally wasn’t. The solution to this whole problem came from Roshaun realizing he’d asked the wrong question: 

Not ‘why can’t I have both’, but how can I have both!

And by rethinking this whole problem with the idea that he could do both, Roshaun comes up with a solution: using wizardry to create a clone of himself that will leave Rirhath B and become a paladin wizard. Then, he uses invisibility to return home without being perceived, and he can deal with the inevitable problem that’ll crop up there. He gets to do both. Now, there’s still a huge risk involved here, too, and the story doesn’t ignore that either. My first concern was addressed before I could even bring it up on video, and it’s clear that this more or less delays a confrontation with the Lost Aethyr. At some point, It is going to figure out that the version of Roshaun that died “gloriously” was not the real Roshaun. But for the time being, Roshaun’s hope is that the Lost Aethyr will simply get bored with watching Clone Roshaun’s sad, tragically ironic attempt to go out into the world and save it. AND THAT PATH IS SO EXQUISITELY DESIGNED, ISN’T IT? Roshaun has to anticipate what the Lost Aethyr will find most deliciously horrific, and then he codes that path into his clone’s future. 

It sounds sad, doesn’t it? Well, this clone is fully sentient and has free will, and Roshaun codes tragedy into the remainder of its existence, so you better BELIEVE that this is incredibly depressing. I just… this exchange was a LOT. 

Rho gulped, trying to get control of that lump in his throat. “I will think of you every day.”

“I know,” said the other Rho. “The same for me. But know this: I understand what I will be saving. You and I, we are victors over the Lost One together.”

OKAY, HI, THIS IS REAL EMOTIONAL. It’s so bizarre, too, since it’s Rho talking to himself??? Well, talking to himself right at the branching point, as this version of himself will have a different set of experiences. Though those experiences will apparently be folded back into his life, right? I believe I read that part of the wizardry correctly. So, some day in the future, Rho will get a ton of experiences and memories merged in with his own, which is also strange and will certainly be intense. But y’all, the most striking part of this entire affair occurs before Roshaun enacts the wizardry. It’s when he learns the cost to himself to make all of this happen:

And the Aethyr displayed a figure in his mind. It was an approximation of a certain amount of life energy, concentrated along a given temporal stretch. 

Rho looked at it, and sucked in a breath. It’s… that’s at least three sunrounds of a life.

My life.

To me, that’s the real test in all of this, the one true element of this decision that makes it Roshaun’s Challenge. And in the end, he chooses to take three years’ worth of his own life in order to protect his own world and his own people. That makes him qualified to be a wizard, and it’s no surprise, then, that he became one shortly after this. He wanted to become a wizard, he knew there’d be a cost to doing so, and he did it because it’s what he’s always desired. Well, and because it was the right thing to do! He gave those years in service of the art and in service of all, and if that doesn’t sound like wizardry, then I don’t know what does. 

I’m guessing that this final section is going to be the one last thing I’ve been eagerly awaiting. ROSHAUN IS GOING TO TELL HIS PARENTS ABOUT HIS WIZARDRY. I enjoyed that prior to this, though, Roshaun has that moment in the Crossings when he realizes that he’s not alone in the universe, that he can now converse with stars all over the galaxy. Given how much loneliness we’ve seen in his story before this point, it meant a lot to see him have that interaction. Rho, you’ve made it, and I’m so proud of you.

https://youtu.be/ZecwoqLBbGY

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