In the eighth chapter of The Kingdom of Gods, EVERYTHING IS A HUGE MESS AND I’M UPSET AND WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? If you’re intrigued (and need other people to FREAK THE FUCK OUT WITH), then it’s time for Mark to read The Kingdom of Gods.
Chapter Eight
I thought I had this figured out and I WAS WRONG YET AGAIN WHAT IS WITH THIS WEEK OF POSTS. CHRIST. HELP.
I honestly thought that this was purely about the experience of feeling regret, loss, and shame after sex. Not that what happens here invalidates that idea! I still think there’s a neat exploration of that here; it’s just that what comes later changes the context of it. I admit that I came into this biased, given what I wrote about at the end of the review for chapter seven. Like I said, it was weird to go through years of a sort of post-coital emptiness and not know what to do with it, so in the opening of this chapter, I felt like I understood Shahar. I felt like I knew what that shame and awkwardness felt like, and I felt like I could empathize with her emotional state. Having sex for the first time can be incredibly confusing, and for me, I went through a spectrum that included joy at finally being able to be intimate with a man to an existential dread that convinced me I couldn’t ever love someone I had sex with.
So, I think there’s a great discussion to be had about this that’s not altered by the context of Shahar’s grief and confusion. But LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT, TOO.
Then I noticed, below the hand that held the sheet about herself, her free hand. She held it over her belly, fingering the skin there as if measuring its strength.
Wait is she
“A child,” I said. I put a hand on her belly as she had done, rubbing circles to tease her. “It would kill me, you know.”
WAIT DOES SHE THINK SHE’S PREGNANT? Oh god. They didn’t use protection. And I didn’t understand (at first) that Sieh meant he would literally die if he procreated with anyone, so I was RELIEVED when he said that Enefa had made it impossible for him to do so. It made sense, too! Shahar knew that they didn’t use contraceptives the night before, and she was an anxious wreck over it.
oh god.
“I didn’t try to prevent a baby. In fact –” her jaw flexed – “I’ve been to the scriveners. They used a script.” She blushed, but forged ahead. “To make it easier, more likely, for three or four days. And once I, with you, I, I’m supposed to go to them. They have other scripts that they say… Even with a god, fertility magic works the same way.”
WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK. Why does this sound so intentional???? I DON’T GET IT.
” ‘If we cannot own gods, then perhaps we can become gods,’ she said. The demons of old had great magic despite their mortality. Or, at the very least, we can gain the greatest demon magic: the power to kill gods.”
!!!! NO NO NO TAKE IT BACK, MAKE IT NOT SO. Oh my god, you can’t be serious. So she deliberately seduced Sieh on her mother’s orders??? SO THAT THE ARAMERI COULD RETURN TO POWER?????
“I agreed to do this because of Deka. We made a bargain, Mother and I: one night with you, in exchange for him. The scriveners would take care of the rest. But when you said that a child would kill you…” She faltered.
I AM ALREADY CRUSHED FOR LIKE A THOUSAND REASONS. Shahar seduced Sieh to get her brother back. And now Sieh must worry about the fact that Shahar could have a child that will kill him. And what kind of mother offers up a choice like this to their daughter?
An Arameri mother.
It’s terrifying, really, because it falls perfectly in line with what the people of this culture do. So it’s not surprising that Sieh’s initial reaction is of disappointment in Shahar. He wanted her to resist her upbringing, but instead, this is who she’s become. But who is that person? Sieh’s aware that Shahar’s feelings for him were genuine. She didn’t fake the desire that she expressed to him the night before, and this confuses Sieh. Hell, it confuses me. What exactly does this all mean? Did Sieh consent if her goal was to get pregnant? Does it matter that she didn’t know that this would kill Sieh if it worked?
This is a mess of a situation, and I’m interested to see what y’all think because WOW. I feel sad for these characters, and I’m furious with Remath for doing something like this to a daughter that is so desperate for her mother’s approval. It’s horrible, isn’t it?
And then Sieh reacts.
“This, Shahar, is my sin. I should have protected you, from your own nature if nothing else. I have betrayed myself, and someone will die for that.”
OH. OH NO. OH NO ARE YOU SERIOUS.
The fourth, a guard, stepped into my path. I have no idea whether he meant to stop me or whether he was just moving to the other side of the corridor, where there was more room. I do not think at such times; I do what feels good. So I slashed my will across him like claws and he fell in six or seven bloody pieces to the floor. Someone screamed; someone else slipped in the blood; they do not get in my way again. I walked on.
WHAT THE HELL DID THIS BOOK JUST BECOME OH MY GOD. OH my gaksjdf; a;lkdfs; lkjsfd a;ljasdfl;jkasfd ;lkfsda;lk And this is such a bold choice for Jemisin to make because Sieh isn’t exactly the most likable narrator. (I personally enjoy him a lot, but I could see why others might be put off by him.) However, this needs to happen. Sieh later describes this as a tantrum, and that’s really what it is. Except it’s a tantrum thrown by a god who still has some tremendous power within him, and the aftermath is unreal. Y’all, I didn’t think it could get worse.
I pulled En loose from its cord. “Kill for me, beloved,” I murmured, and dropped it to the floor. It bounced, then shot around the room, ricocheting off walls and windows and the stone of Remath’s chair. It did not bounce off mortal flesh. When En had punched holes in enough of them and the screaming stopped, it came back to me, flaring hot to cook off the blood and then dropping cool and satisfied into my hand.
I can’t. I CANNOT DO THIS. IS THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING?
She had not moved throughout the slaughter and showed no hint of concern that I had just killed thirty or so of her relatives.
Given the problems the Arameri have had maintaining their popularity, I knew something else was at hand here because why wasn’t Remath upset? Instead, she is stone cold and humorous throughout this exchange, and her certainty was disturbing. She didn’t defend herself, she didn’t try to stop Sieh from harming her, and she seemed to enjoy his rage. Oh my god, did she have some master plan for this? The only reason I say that is because she clearly did not expect Shahar to show up and defend her. Even I was shocked by Shahar’s determination to spare her mother’s life. As Sieh pointed out, DIDN’T SHE WANT HER OWN MOTHER DEAD???
I glanced at Remath, who was staring at Shahar, surprised into an expression of astonishment at last. Yes.
“You love her,” I said.
And Sieh cannot murder the mother whose child loves her enough to want to save her life. I think that’s why Sieh so quickly deflates upon this revelation. Well, it’s that and his maturity, what little of it that he’s gained. He can’t do this anymore.
Y’all, he killed them all. SHEVIR IS DEAD. And Jemisin ends with this:
I would not see Shahar again for two years.
WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY.
Part 1
Part 2
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