In the seventh chapter of Mockingjay, IS THIS THE REAL LIFE. IS THIS JUST FANTASY. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Mockingjay.
DETAIL LOG: DISTRICT 13 / COIN / COMMAND
BUTTERCUP
SUBJECT: KATNISS EVERDEEN
LOCATION: DISTRICT 8
1554: SUBJECT DESCENDS STAIRS TO ASPHALT IN DISTRICT 8, FLANKED BY GALE, BOGGS, TWO SOLDIERS, AND THE CAMERA CREW. SURELY THERE’S NOTHING CONSPICUOUS OR ATTENTION-DRAWING ABOUT A CAMERA CREW FOLLOWING AROUND SUBJECT! HEY, CAPITOL, SHE’S RIGHT THERE.
1557: SECOND HOVERCRAFT LANDS, CARRYING MEDICAL SUPPLIES. THERE MUST BE SOME FRINGE RAT POPULATION AROUND HERE. IT’S A WAREHOUSE DISTRICT.
1559: NO RATS SO FAR. CAME UPON A STREET LITTERED WITH BODIES. CAPITOL ATTACK WAS VICIOUS. MUST BE A DEAD RAT HERE SOMEWHERE. I’LL TAKE A PIGEON, TOO. WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE.
1600: SUBJECT IS RESISTING ENTERING THE MAKESHIFT HOSPITAL. FEEL THE OVERWHELMING URGE TO REMIND SUBJECT THAT I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY LIVING CREATURES THAT SURVIVED A CAPITOL BOMBING IN DISTRICT 12 AND SPENT A MONTH HAVING TO EAT THE REMAINS OF OTHER CITIZENS. YOU CAN STAND A VISIT TO THE HOSPITAL.
1601: MET WITH COMMANDER PAYLOR. IT’S CLEAR WE BOTH SHARE THE SAME SLIGHT DISGUST FOR SUBJECT. MUST RUB AGAINST HER LEGS LATER.
1602: GALE IS ALREADY CRITICIZING THE METHOD IN WHICH THEY COLLECT THEIR VICTIMS IN ONE BUILDING. HEY. HEY GALE. NO ONE CARES. MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE A DUMP RIGHT AFTER HE CLEANS MY BOX. AND I MEAN RIGHT AFTER.
1603: SUBJECT IS COMPLAINING ABOUT SITE AND SMELL. MUST REMIND HER THAT NOT ONLY IS THIS WHAT I HAD TO STAND FOR A MONTH, BUT I ALSO BURY MY OWN SHIT AND PISS. RUDE.
1604: PATIENTS ARE BEGINNING TO RECOGNIZE SUBJECT. THEY ARE TOUCHING HER. FUR IS STANDING STRAIGHT ON MY BACK. ONLY PAYLOR CAN TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW. MUST GO HIDE.
1606: OK, SUBJECT IS RATHER GOOD AT THIS. I’LL JUST POOP IN GALE’S ROOM ONLY, NOT HERS.
1607: MEOW. WHAT? I’M A FUCKING CAT. CAN’T I MEOW?
1615: SUBJECT HAS LEFT PATIENT AREA. BORED. NO FOOD OR PETTING IN MY IMMEDIATE FUTURE. GOING TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO SLEEP.
1617: THE ONE THEY CALL BOGGS SAYS BOMBERS ARE INCOMING. YAWN. IT’S DEFINITELY NAP TIME. I’M JUMPING UP THAT FIRE ESCAPE.
1618: BOMBS HAVE BEGUN TO FALL. IT’S LIKE A LULLABY TO ME. PURRRRRRR.
1619: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE SUBJECT IS. WHY WAS I ASSIGNED THIS?
1619: BOMBING CONTINUES. I GUESS I SHOULD GO FIND THE SUBJECT.
1620: WELL. BOMBS ARE FALLING ON THE HOSPITAL. IF I GET LEFT BEHIND, I WILL WHITHER AWAY BEFORE I EAT PEOPLE AGAIN.
1620: WHERE IS SUBJECT? SHE IS NOT WITH HER GUARDS. OH WELL. UP THIS FIRE ESCAPE.
1621: HOLY SHIT GALE KICKED BOGGS IN THE FACE. I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT BOGGS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER AND THAT WAS AMAZING. OK, PERHAPS I WONT POOP IN GALE’S ROOM AFTER ALL.
1622: SUBJECT IS ON ROOF WITH PAYLOR. WILL TAKE A SECOND TO GAUGE IF I CAN GET A BACK RUB IN REAL QUICK. IF NOT, I CAN AT LEAST PET MY OWN FACE WITH THAT PIPE OVER THERE.
1623: MORE BOMBS. SIGH. THEY HAVEN’T LANDED YET. PAYLOR IS INSTRUCTING SUBJECT IN HOW TO TAKE THEM DOWN. WITH ARROWS? SURELY SUBJECTS JESTS. I’LL EAT MY OWN POOP IF SHE CAN TAKE DOWN A BOMBER WITH AN ARROW.
1624: ANOTHER WAVE IS COMING. GALE SET A WAREHOUSE ON FIRE. THESE PEOPLE ARE USELESS.
1625: I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY RESCIND MY STATEMENT IN 1623.
1625: SUBJECT AND GALE HAVE LEFT ROOF. I THINK I’LL STAY HERE.
1626: THEY SHOT DOWN BOMBERS. WITH ARROWS.
1627: HOSPITAL IS IN FLAMES. THERE WON’T BE ANY SURVIVORS. I SHOULD GO FIND SUBJECT BEFORE I GET LEFT BACK IN THIS GODFORSAKEN DISTRICT.
1628: SUBJECT IS YELLING ANGRILY INTO A CAMERA. GESTURING TOWARDS SMOLDERING HOSPITAL RUBBLE.
1629: OH SHIT, THEY ARE LEAVING DON’T LEAVE ME BEHIND. OH, AND ABOUT THAT POOP THING…YEAH. LET’S JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!!! MEOW?
(This review is for Kripa, who is a great friend and feminist and who insisted I find a way to write a review as Buttercup. Thank you.)
<3
YAY I AM FIFRST OMG OMG OMG OMG.
And that was also an incredible review. I was waiting for Buttercup's POV. This is such an insane chapter, so much gets realler than anyone could ever be prepared for, no matter how hard one tries.
Your name is my name. 🙂
Very Hedwig, but kittier. I want to pick Buttercup up and cuddle him. I don't have enough cats.
Also, yeah, bombers…. Beetee's arrows are incredible, and Capitol bombers are shoddy, and Katniss is good at some things at least.
Lol… Fail.
Mark, you are not prepared. For the rest of Mockingjay, you need:
1. A diaper for when you shit yourself
2. Kleenex when you cry tears at your utter unpreparedness
3. Extra strength keyboard that won't break under key smash.
This list is awesome. I wish I had this when I was reading Mockingjay.
I thought this person was perma-banned for spoiling about cinna?
..Now you just spoiled me about the fact there's a spoiler about Cinna (o hai nonsensical sentence of mine). Thanks.
No, I didn't, because Mark removed the spoiler, and that's pretty much the most vague statement I could have possibly made referring to the person's ACTUAL spoilery comments. The "spoiler" about Cinna could be that he's never mentioned ever again, or that actually he's actually an animagus and that's the truth behind Buttercup. HAVE THEY EVER APPEARED BEFORE IN THE SAME ROOM? THINK ABOUT IT.
(wait, have they? bc then this joke totally sucks.)
the bombs have begun to fall. it’s like a lullaby for me.
lol! this is absolutely purrrrrrfect (:
sorry, couldn’t resist the irony. (;
1625: I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY RESCIND MY STATEMENT IN 1623.
This is so awesome. 😀
Love Buttercup's review! It was awesome!
Meow, meow! (Got a hold of my "owners" computer heh, heh).
[IMG ]http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt204/lynn2art/DSC_0745-5.jpg[/IMG]
Trying to post pic again:
[IMG ]http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt204/lynn2art/DSC_0745-5.jpg[/IMG]
Grrrrrrrr, hiss, spit!!!! I give up with the pic.
Here you go 🙂
<img src="http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt204/lynn2art/DSC_0745-5.jpg">
You have to use HTML code. [img src="url"], except with < and > instead of [ and].
I am your fan for life!! Thanks!!!!!! 🙂
Ok- so apparently I am 12 today. The running cat poop joke had me giggling
That was disappointing. 🙁
I agree, I can't believe I waited all weekend for this crap ( oh, I mean cat crap). There are some interesting things I was looking forward to discussing in this chapter. Oh well
And what's stopping you from discussing that?
Look, guys, seriously…this is what I do. You can dislike it, but please stop making it so personal. We are all welcome to discuss any number of things in this chapter, but you cannot expect me to just do the same thing every review. I get bored, plain and simple. It's been a long time since I was inspired to try something different for a review and I would appreciate if we could go like…more than ten minutes before someone whines about it.
I think the reason some of us like the "normal" kind of review better than this kind is because we don't get to see you in this style. For me, the fun of reading these is to see your reactions — it makes me remember when I read the books for the first time. To me, this style is flat, there's no emotional connection to you or the book at all. (Previous sentence intended to be explaining, not bitching.)
That being said, this is your site. You can write reviews however you like! Or not write them! We're all just guests here, it's not nice to complain about stuff you're getting for free.
Well I for one was pleased to see you experimenting with different review styles again. That's what makes this Mark Reads. The normal reviews are great, but I do like it when things get mixed up a little. 🙂
ME TOO. Thank you for saying this. I was sooooo excited to see this type of review! and from BUTTERCUP – perfect.
I love seeing things through Mark's interpretation of the animal characters…
Buttercup, srsly, don't ever change.
^ Literally my exact thoughts.
I love Mark's normal reviews, but once in a while it's awesome to have something like this. GUYS HE HASN'T DONE ONE LIKE AT ALL THROUGH THESE BOOKS.
AND THIS WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS.
Man, I don't understand this entitled attitude. This is his blog. He can do what he wants. I'd be so annoyed if people were complaining all the time when I was just trying to have fun and do nice things.
This is exactly why Mark is going to stop doing reviews one day. Won't that be more disappointing?
Yay its like going back to the old Hedwig reviews, I love your animal POV reviews Mark
Um Buttercup must hid? Mark you either failed at grammar or forgot an e. 😛
Don't you mean Buttercup? 'Cause Mark didn't post that review………
Buttercup is a cat. Don't judge its grammar too harshly!
Yay Buttercup! I love that cat.
I feel like cats' natural aloofness and "don't give a shit"itis makes Buttercup a slightly less reliable narrator then Hedwig.
But I love it anyway.
I love that Mark Reads is a place where the relative narratorial reliability of various animal species can be discussed.
I lol'd so hard omg dying BUTTERCUP I AGREE WITH ALL YOUR SENTIMENTS.
I'm now really nervous for the fate of Buttercup.
We all know what happened to the last animal that wrote logs like this. Tears forever.
The Hunger Games through the eyes of a cat would be fascinating! MOAR PLZ. This review was amazing.
Someone get on the phone to Collins. We need her to agree to 3 books of this!
WIN. Siriusly dude you win at everything. PLEASE NEVER CHANGE MARK. EVER.<3
This chapter was awful (but you made it better with this review) and awesome at the same time. It's awesome because we finally see some of the REAL war first hand and awful because well we see the war and how horrible everything is. Katniss is a BAMF. Gale is annoying and then a super BAMF. I have a feeling Boggs is going to be the Dawlish of this series (and I'm a bit torn of being 😀 or 🙁 about him). The arrows thing was a bit "WTF?!" but then again IT'S THE FUTURE MAYBE THERE SUPER ARROWS, look I don't know.
And WAIT. Isn't Johanna from 8? I miss Johanna. GO GET JOHANNA.
Yeah, they were explosive arrows, I believe! And super high-tech bows.
Yeah, I know. It just sounds (looks? lol) weird. Badass but weird.
She's from 7. But nevertheless, I agree. GO GET JOHANNA.
Ohhhh. Right. Never mind.
BUT YES THEY NEED TO GET JOHANNA DAMMIT.
Yeah, I believe Beetee designed crazy arrows for her bow. She explained she used the fire ones, and then went for the explosive tipped ones. Still a bit farfetched with taking down a hovercraft/bomber BUT HEY THIS iS COLLINS' story – right?
Also, random side note. I play call of duty black ops quite a bit online and I don't know whether this is fake or real… But they have a crossbow that launches sticky grenades. The grenades literally attach to wherever they are shot and blow…..maybe not too far fetched of an idea (besides I don't know they were shooting at flying objects that are NOTHING LIKE GEESE.)
Johanna is from District 7 (lumber).
District 8 is textiles or something.
Yes, District 8 is where Bonnie and Twill were from and they made the Peacekeeper uniforms, which is how Bonnie was able to steal them.
Riiiiiiight. THAT'S why I remembered it.
Maybe I'm just to wrapped around my (wistful) idea about how everything must involve Johanna. 😛
That is because Johanna is a BAMF! 🙂
I don't really understand why Capitol doesn't care about killing their 'slaves'. There's a lot of hardship already starting in the Capitol now due to the loss of their industries. (Well, hardship by their standards, anyway. Obviously, there's a hell of a lot more hardship going on in the Districts).
My point is, Capitol doesn't actually seem to have any industries. All of their products seem to come from the Districts. They get nuclear power from 13 (not anymore, but I'm guessing they have weapons stockpiled), coal from 12, food from 11, clothing from 8, fish from 4, electronics from… was it 3?, and who knows what else from the ones I haven't named. So without the Districts, the Capitol would soon find itself starving and naked with broken electronics and no trains (assuming they're still coal-powered, I don't remember if they specified), and lacking who knows what else. The Capitol can't survive if they slaughter all of their workers. It seems strange to me that they are apparently unconcerned about this.
I know what you mean. It's like they are making it worst for themselves killing these people who work for them when they need the things they make in order to survive.
From the Capitol's perspective, those people in the hospital were not useful as "workers" any longer. They were expendable. From what Katniss described, all of those people were seriously injured and most were going to either die or never fully recover. So they get to make a statement by killing them all without "losing" any of their workforce.
Also, you can't win a war with your slaves by not killing them. If you don't utterly dominate, how are you going to get them back in line? The districts are in fullscale rebellion, there is no more intimidation by fear. It's now just a delicate balance of killing some but not all to try and get them to surrender.
There is NO other way to review this chapter. Buttercup says it all and WINS SO HARD.
and I LOVE Boggs so hard but Gale constantly beating him up for Katniss to run away and disobey orders is awesome. First he breaks the guy's nose and then he kicks him the face? OUCH. It's amazing Boggs can stand to be around the kid without flinching.
I got a mental picture of Boggs flinching away from Gale. It was awesome.
WIN <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
excellent Buttercup review. Also … I completely forgot that they shot down bombers with ARROWS, how crazy is that!?
YES A BUTTERCUP REVIEW! I was looking back at MRHP last night and getting sad that you hadn't done more creative-style reviews for these books.
Ohgosh, I’m the new kid on the blog.
Feeling the need to hide.
After I join in these comments of love for Buttercup. ‘Cause he’s the coolest cat in District 13…literally. 😀
<3
Welcome! Don't worry, people around here are cool. Especially if you have animated .gifs to share.
Yay. (:
Although I don’t have gifs. /sadface
Oh well, maybe I’ll have mildly witty comments here and there. (:
Hey, I'm a new kid too… astral plane high five!
I can safely say most non-troll site ever, and high-five for the new kid!
Oh yay! SO MANY HIGH FIVES!
/highfives
Fuck yeah. :DDD
You know, I have always wondered how this site has escaped trolls. There are ALWAYS trolls everywhere and it's even easy for them here, you don't have to sign up!
Also, I was super happy to see a Buttercup review. Amazing/
1626: THEY SHOT DOWN BOMBERS. WITH ARROWS.
THEY SURE DID.
1628: SUBJECT IS YELLING ANGRILY INTO A CAMERA. GESTURING TOWARDS SMOLDERING HOSPITAL RUBBLE.
I LOVE KATNISS'S SLOGAN SO MUCH MORE THAN COIN'S.
I liked hers so much more too! I think because it was spur of the moment and had so much more emotion than… just standing in a fake field.
Is it terrible that I like Buttercup a teeny bit more than Hedwig? I want to hug Buttercup and scratch his ears while I would only pet Hedwig's head. I don't know. Cats are just more ~snuggly~ and less scary than birds. But both are awesome sassy BAMFs. I wonder who would win in an awesome sassy BAMF off.
omg because cats are seriously the best cutest thing EVER. like I love Hedwig and his letter delivering bffship with Harry, but when I first read that there was a cat in this book I was super excited!
also Buttercup and Crookshank could totally be kitty friends! meow meow!
Hedwig is a girl…just reminding you =]
MEOWW!
Aw, birds are totally snuggleable. I had a class in elementary where we had this cockatiel who was the pissiest damn bird I've ever met (I mean, shit, when she was mad at you and bit you, it fucking HURT) and she was super cute to play with. She'd tap your finger to tell you that she wanted her neck rubbed and fuck, I miss that bird.
Besides, this Hedwig seems to like snuggling: <img src=http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6qlqvIS0j1qd4xcro1_500.png>
What a pleasant surprise. First, we get a whole weekend to think about Finnick being distracting in an amazing way. Now, a Buttercup review. Feels very MRHP. I approve.
I still don't understand Katniss' weapons. How does an arrow take down a plane? I realize they have explosives or fire, but I don't get how that works either.
Would just like to point out that those people in 8 didn't think Peeta was a traitor. *glares at Coin and Boggs and 13*
Not gonna lie, I kinda like Katniss' speech at the end. It felt very real, but it also makes me cringe a bit, kind of like in HP3 movie when DRad screams, "He was THEIR FRIEND!!" or when he goes into his spiel about how he and Sirius are going to get a home where they can see the stars (I'm cringing even thinking about the second one. I usually mute the TV when that scene comes up. I only crack up at the friend line.). But this one is better than those.
aww that's not really fair to harry. he is just a 13 year old kid. think back to when you were in the 7th grade. half the crap that came out of my mouth would mortify me now.
Haha I was a treat when I was 13. When I think back on what I was like back then, I realize my parents must have loved me to put up with me. I was soooo annoying.
But I wasn't actually criticizing Harry, not even DRad's delivery of the lines. I was criticizing Steve Kloves (which wasn't at all clear, looking back on it). I hate those lines. I hate them so much. They make me sooooooo uncomfortable and pull me out of the moment and I think Kloves can write a lot better than that. A lot of us in the comments have been talking about Collins' writing style and how she names things, or her slogans. "The girl on fire," muttations, tracker jackers, "morphling" for both the drug and the addict, etc. They make some of us cringe (for me, the tracker jackers is the worst). So far, it seems as if she's hit her stride. But the speech Katniss makes just sort of jolts me out of the story a little. I think it's probably the "Fire is catching" line that does it for me. It feels off, just a tick. Might be because the previous book was entitled "Catching Fire" and it's just, I don't know, too aware for me. But, like I said, it's much better than I had thought it would be.
I'll also throw it out there that inspirational speeches have a tendency to make me really uncomfortable. Unless the speaker nails it, I feel weird reading/watching/listening to it.
Oh man haven't see one of these type of setup fr yur blgs in a long time! Aha Buttercup, you would think like that.
Okay seriously who can shoot a hovercraft down with ARROWS! So glad I wasn't the only one who thought that was crazy. I'm guessing the hovercrafts are made of cloth so they could ignite.
I was going to say that I couldn't imagine what's it's like to have the earth shake with bombs but that was until yesterday when I was at a Super Bowl party filled with Steeler fans. Oh that house was close to falling down.
Steeler fans? I'm so sorry 🙂
Actually no. I was rooting for GB and everyone else was for Steelers. I at least didn't get deathtreats from them.
This review makes me miss Hedwig. 🙁
Shoot! I tried to upvote you and hit the wrong button!
I hate when I do that. 🙁 we should be able to change our votes.
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST REVIEW EVER.
SURELY THERE’S NOTHING CONSPICUOUS OR ATTENTION-DRAWING ABOUT A CAMERA CREW FOLLOWING AROUND SUBJECT! HEY, CAPITOL, SHE’S RIGHT THERE.
Oh yeah, there's no way this could have ended badly, right? I just kept thinking, "you idiots. Isn't that about as good as airing the footage live and letting Snow know she's there?" Your ~super sneaky~ skills need work.
1618: BOMBS HAVE BEGUN TO FALL. IT’S LIKE A LULLABY TO ME. PURRRRRRR.
I can't even. Buttercup for supreme dictator for life, y/y (after Mark, of course)?
Also, this is really horrible, but with the destruction of the hospital, before reading this review I was horrified. Now there's this little voice that keeps thinking OM NOM MORE DEAD BODIES FOR BUTTERCUP NOM. I swear it wasn't like that before this review, but you all can now point out what a terrible human being I make.. Buttercup made me do it, okay?
Gee, would y'all have aired anything from D8 if Katniss just gone back quietly when you wanted her to? Girl actually did/said something worth showing to the rebels. Don't you actually want to see her fighting for a cause and not just posing and walking around in an admittedly awesome suit? Perhaps you should let her make her own choices, because she's way more effective for your purposes and as a figurehead that way. Even if those choices are sometimes dumb enough to potentially result in death. I guess you'd have a martyr then. Just some thoughts, D13.
1626: THEY SHOT DOWN BOMBERS. WITH ARROWS.
I am simultaneously impressed and confused. Exploding arrows sound awesome. Shooting down bombers with them is more so. Also, what. Exploding arrows are like ~magic~.
My favorite thing about this chapter is how it's clear that the leaders of the revolution want Katniss to stand back and be the figurehead they're trying to turn her into, and Katniss's response is YEAH FUCK THAT I'M GONNA SHOOT DOWN SOME BOMBERS WITH MY FUCKING BOW AND ARROW BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU IN MOST WAYS.
In all seriousness, though, if you needed confirmation that Coin and company are more interested in having Katniss as a poster-child for the revolution than in actually letting her do something active, here it is. I suppose that it would be easy enough to say that Katniss is still a child, and they're reluctant to put her into battle because of her age and salvaging the innocence of childhood and blah blah blah. However, this is a girl who's been in the Arena twice and made it out alive both times. She has legitimate, useful combat skills. And perhaps most importantly, she really believes in what she's fighting for and wants to actually fight for it.
They dressed her in her fancy outfit and bow and sent her to an area where the fighting was supposed to have stopped so that she could be inspirational in front of a horrifying–but ultimately safe–background. It feels a little sending her out to an aircraft carrier in a flight suit to reassure the troops, you know? It feels like a ploy (which of course, it is). The absolute best moment in the chapter is when Katniss refuses to go along with it and demands the right to actually do something.
I absolutely agree. It's almost offensive how they treat her like she can't handle this shit. SHE SURVIVED TWO HUNGER GAMES IN A ROW FFS
Great. Now I'm thinking about Bush's crotch. THANKS A LOT.
You're right, this is just more proof that Coin and the rebels are only interested in Katniss as far as they can use her. If she's injured, she's nothing. Good on Beetee for giving her the ability to fight if she so chooses.
Great. Now I'm thinking about Bush's crotch. THANKS A LOT.
Oh man, I'm so sorry . . . and yet I can't stop laughing. XD Sorry. Really. No one should have to think about that, ever.
Love this review!!! Buttercup kicks ass!
Dear Mr. Buttercup,
I agree with your views and would like to suscribe to your newsletter.
Sincerely,
F. Nerdist
As would I.
Sincerely,
Lady X
No thoughts on subject "YELLING ANGRILY INTO THE CAMERA" ?
lol, I love that a large percentage of these observations lead back to poop. Maybe I'm just ridiculously childish, but it cracked me up. <3 Buttercup, never change!
I lol'd too and I'm 22.
I'm 21. Good to know I won't lose that part of myself in a year, lol.
OMG YAY A BUTTERCUP REVIEW. ALSO THIS IS WHY KATNISS IS THE MOST BADASS OF ALL BADASSES. SHE CAN SHOOT DOWN A BOMBER WITH ARROWS HOLY SHIT.
Completely random aside, but I had been wondering for a while what your icon was. I happened to come across Hyperbole and a Half a week or so ago, and yay alots! Also, my first introduction was about how sandwiches make you their bitch in 11 steps, and I was laughing so hard that not only did I start crying, but my nose started running as well. I'm pretty sure my roommate thinks I've lost it since she witnessed that unflattering display, but it's okay. I'm just making a point of catching up on that site when I'm safely alone in my room!
Allie Brosh is my queen. I always laugh so hard when I read her site!
Reading the intro I got a bit confused cause I didnt remember any landslides in this chapter (my brain finished the stanza 😛 ).
PS Buttercup is the That Darn Cat of the future
THIS IS GLORIOUS. I MISSED THESE KINDS OF REVIEWS.
Buttercup and Hedwig would've been best pals.
Hell, they could be worthy replacements for Statler and Waldorf. *imagines them sitting on a balcony*
Okay, I need to make a comic out of this. *woopsiedoo* (too bad I'll be in NYC the next few days) (Erm. I MEAN, YEAH BABY NYC, I'LL DOODLE ON THE AIRPLANE) (Like a boss)
Yaaay!! Mark this day as the first Hunger Games alternate review!! I had kinda missed those 😛 This line = much love! "1607: MEOW. WHAT? I’M A FUCKING CAT. CAN’T I MEOW?"
Also, no, you may NOT rescind your comment just because it proved to be true. LET THE POOP EATING COMMENCE!
Does Buttercup look like this?
<img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/fos92.gif" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
-David looking down at the end of the gif-
"Did you poop?"
Bwahahahaohmygiddyaunt what is wrong with me I swear I'm 24 instead of 4!
YES.
buttercup review = PURE EXCELLENCE
BUTTERCUP > ANYONE
That was almost better than the Hedwig reviews… Almost.
(Hedwig/Buttercup crossover OTP?? Oh the snark they will have.)
I agree! What an awesome idea thee had!
I'M WORKING ON IT
<img src="http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu340/Aere145/Photoon2011-02-07at1950.jpg" /img>
THAT IS MAGNIFICENT
OH WAIT. I forgot about about Buttercup's ear and blablabla. *starts over*
Hmmmm. Gonna make Hedwig bigger though.
<img src="http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu340/Aere145/Photoon2011-02-07at2021.jpg" /img>
Well, the Owl and the Pussycat *DID* go to sea.
Buttercup and Hedwig need to meet somehow on the Astrial Plane, yes yes?
"MUST RUB AGAINST HER LEGS LATER."
BUTTERCUP YOU CAN RUB AGAINST MY LEG, I WON'T MIND!
<sad story> I can't have a cat because my sister and parents are allergic but I'M NOT </sad story>
Clearly you need to move out just so you can get a cat.
I agree with caito716! When you strike out on your own, you can adopt a kitten or two, and it will be great.
This was my exact plan for when I'm living on my own.
But I'm 17 so that's not until a few years D:
The way that girl and her little brother reacted to seeing Katniss just broke my heart ;___;
I think actually seeing how important she is to the cause will make Katniss much more willing to actually be the Mockingjay. She understands how much it means to so many people now.
Me too. I cried during the hospital scene. And then even harder when all those people died.
I especially loved the scene where people ask her about the pregnancy, and she sees how much it meant to other people, and she feels guilty for a moment for lying about the miscarriage, but knows she can't correct them, cause painting Peeta as a liar at that point might turn people against him.
1607: MEOW. WHAT? I’M A FUCKING CAT. CAN’T I MEOW?
hahaha!
I clapped excitedly like A SEAL when I saw the type of review this was!!!! Did it make anyone else sad about Hedwig??? 🙁
Also- urgh. Knew those arrows would annoy me. This best be the LAST time she has to use them. Give the girl a gun that shoots fire and exploding bullets and shizz!
I absolutely loved this chapter (at least when Katniss opens up her can of whoopass). Katniss was awesome, I liked the speech, and nothing you say will convince me otherwise.
<img src="http://www.gifsoup.com/view/47374/dancing-nathan-o.gif">
Gale and Katniss are a pretty cool guys; he shoots down bombers with arrows and doesn't afraid of anything.
<img src="http://www.gifsoup.com/view/1169839/jayne-drop.html">
I guess no one told Boggs to watch out for Gale's Sparta kick. THIS! IS! PANEM!
<img src="http://i527.photobucket.com/albums/cc354/Kazuki_2880/1205565437757.gif">
Wait, that's not right.
gale's sparta kick ftw
"HEY. HEY GALE. NO ONE CARES. MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE A DUMP RIGHT AFTER HE CLEANS MY BOX. AND I MEAN RIGHT AFTER."
<img src="http://www.oricuss.com/pictures/img/evil-cat-01.jpg">
WIN! This is EXACTLY how I pictured Buttercup! The coloring, the expression…
Yay for the "logbook" reviews! I've missed them (more must be done ^_^)
I knew some form of the 1625 entry was going to come after 1623 – Buttercup is love.
Aha, o almost expected a mention to agent Hedwig. x)
They must be working for the same organization, right? Some secret society of animals observing teenage heroes across the ages.
That's why Bella's so fucked up. No delightfully ornery animal to keep a watch on her.
No, I don't even think an animal could help her!
I agree. I think it works the other way. Bella was not worthy of an animal companion.
Oh, god, the poor animal if she ever got one. She'd probably give it the most hideous name ever. "Durrr, I'm going to name this cat Carlislecharliejasperedwardbillyembryquilconner, 'kay?"
Comments I wrote down right after I finished chapter 7:
————-
Damn Katniss is good for the cameras when she’s spontaneous. But bringing down AIRPLANES? A bow and arrows? Maybe the rebels should just let her be Rambo, and just keep her supplied with arrows. That should do the trick.
I’m wondering about Coin now. Coin, Snow, presidents with four letter last names, can’t be coincidence. How much of the negative feeling is due to her being the dictator of District 13, and how much of it is Katniss being an unreliable narrator? Katniss often has good instincts, but she gets people wrong all the time too. Like Peeta in THG, or Finnick and Johanna in CF. But the secret punishment of the prep team is hard to reconcile with the concept of a strict but just society.
——–
I know the second comment doesn't really relate to this chapter, but this is when the thought crept into my mind.
An entertaining review, although I miss your personal comments. Sigh. I guess it would be greedy to ask for both…
In other news, at the end of this chapter, in the midst of all my "Yeah, you go Katniss!" and my "Oh god, the humanity!! Bombing a HOSPITAL?! Dicks" I was brought up short by the whole "that's a wrap" business. It made me feel a new kind of horror, where Katniss, just by being her awesome self, is playing into the hands of District 13. This WOULD be a good thing, because the Capital and all of its evilness must fall, but…I don't know. District 13 gives me the willies. Maybe Coin, whom I suspect is like the flip side of Snow (hehehe), sent the bombers? Or tipped off the Capital that Katniss would be there in the hospital or something? For better footage? I mean, they had GREAT shots of Katniss, and it was very inspiring…I don't know. I feel like these things don't just happen randomly. Its a silly conspiracy theory, since I think Coin would let her camera crew in on it if it were true so they could better exploit it (and they were definitely NOT in on it, one smashed face later), but Coin is so CREEPY and calculating! Oo! what if they were meant to shoot the hospital being bombed right after Katniss visited it to make the tragic impact more obvious/angering to the districts. I don't know. Surely nefarious schemes are afoot in Communism land, I mean District 13.
Major WIN for the Queen lyrics!
Also: MOAR Buttercup!
As further evidence for my conspiracy theory, the camera crew was really trying to hustle her out of there. AND last chapter they were all like "We need her to go out and give us some REAL responses." So that could mean "we should CREATE real situations for her to respond to." I mean, the people in the hospital were "wasting resources" according to the strict policies of District 13. They weren't going to contribute to the fighting anymore, and valuable food and equipment were being used to maintain them…and District 13 is all about recycling and being effective. I'm totally loving my crazy theory more and more…
Ugh. I'm getting the heebie-jeebies as more evidence piles up. What a repulsive idea that they'd engineer it.
Yes, but since District 13 seems like a different flavored Capital waiting to happen, I think they might have engineered it. All in the name of "the greater good." It happens all the time in real life, sadly.
I'm believin it.
Conspiracy theories! MOAR!
"1607: MEOW. WHAT? I’M A FUCKING CAT. CAN’T I MEOW?"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
A++ on the review intro, Mark!
I literally laughed out loud while reading this, it was spectacular.
So happy I can finally participate in these because I'm caught up…I don't have much to say about this chapter though. Except, Katniss is amazing and it needs more Peeta and Haymitch. Actually, the entire book should be in Haymitch's POV instead. Even though I love Katniss.
Buttercup rules. Only other thing I can think of is how does an arrow take down a plane? Seriously, how does that work? Whatever, will be a cool scene in eventual Mockingjay movie, no? Assuming it gets made.
Mark,
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on the way Capitol residents are often depicted with body modifications as a way of highlighting the privilege they enjoy relative to those in the Districts. This struck me for the first time in the beginning of this chapter, when the camera crews are described as having piercings, a shaved head, and tattoos, but of course the prep team was a more outlandish example. Piercings, weird hairstyles and tattoos are things people in our society adopt, especially among leftist/alternative crowds, and I hadn't really considered the amount of privilege necessary to adopt that until Collins brought it up in this series. Of course none of the District workers have the wealth or freedom to get mods, and the harsh physical labor they endure would make many impractical.
So are exciting hairstyles, tattoos, piercings, skin-dyeings and all the rest a sign of independence and the anti-mainstream, or just a mark of those who can afford to live that way?
This is interesting and I can't believe I never though about it before. The Capitol citizens use it as a show of status as well as fashion, but in our society, some people consider body mods to lower your status. It definitely is a privilege, even if it isn't seen that way by most people (I've spent $500 on body mods since November). As for the Capitol citizens, I wish we knew more about their motivation for their mods.
I was just going to post a comment about this, since I noticed in this chapter that Katniss went as far as to use the term "freak show" in describing them.
Haha, this was awesome (8
Lovely review, Mark. 🙂 I am surprised by Buttercup, though. Any self-respecting cat would have stayed home and caught it on teevee, preferably between naps and shredding things.
Ahhh I missed your crazy POV reviews! ^^
Also I am so with you ( I mean Buttercup of course 0_o ) on the whole 'shooting down a bomber with arrows' thing. Totally weird and unexpected? Yes. Crazy awesome? YES.
Rule of Cool applies here, methinks.
I don't know if I posted this on the 'Reads' side yet, but I created a blog for spoilers. The only rule is that spoilers go there instead of here to protect those that wish to go unspoiled.
http://markspoils.blogspot.com/
We're mostly freaking out over Doctor Who over there, but I created posts for Mockingjay too. Also, for talking about Doctor Who season 6 / 32, be sure to put a spoiler warning in your post before you start talking about it please. Up through season 5 is fair game, but there are people who don't want to be spoiled for season 6 there too.
There's been a site for MarkReads around for a while: http://markreadspoilerzone.wordpress.com/ though we're a pretty small community.
Oh thank you, I didn't know that. I'll start focusing on the 'Watches' side and direct the 'Reads' side to you guys then.
Tee hee,Gale cleans Buttercups box! <3
whenever i think of cats i think of the AristoCats.
So Gale is totally this guy.
<img src="http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t222/Celtic_Maiden/gifs/aristocats-piano.gif" border="0" alt="aristocats – piano. Pictures, Images and Photos"/>
Katniss is this chicahh
<img src="http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s318/Chibiko_88/GIFs/mc6eeb.gif" border="0" alt="Marie Pictures, Images and Photos"/>
and Buttercup is obviously crookshanks.
Buttercup = BAMF forever.
<img src=http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg5q88WlmW1qdv8m9.gif>
YES! Just…yes!
Oh, how I love this GIF.
How does this GIF manage to work in every situation?!?!
THERE. Now it does.
1) WHAT. THEY SHOT DOWN BOMBS WITH ARROWS. WHAT?
2) I've missed your Hedwig reviews, so I really enjoyed this.
3) WHAT.
caught in a landslide, escape from reality.
i have not read this book/series. just thought i'd finish off the song.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…
I can't go any further because I am fortunately middle class.
This took me a minute to get. Then I LOL'd.
If you don't mind me being critical, may I say that the ALL CAPS FOREVER is a bit hard to read?
Shit, I feel awful just saying that. I love your reviews, Mark, just… ALL CAPS. Hard.
I'm getting old, I just know it. 🙁 Sorry. *goes back to lurking*
I don't think that's the same kind of complaint at all, it's about accessibility, which is a completely different thing from talking about the style of the review. I bet Mark would appreciate suggestions on ways to improve the accessibility of the site.
Aw, I love ALL CAPS FOREVER! It lets me get my obnoxious loud talking/yelling/ maybe even screaming out and i get to watch others do it to! I even started using it with my friends, of course they appreciate it less, but I DON'T CARE! I LOVE HAVING CONVERSATIONS WHERE EVERYONE IS YELLING. I will admit, I was annoyed by it when I first arrived hear at Mark reads, but it really is part of what I love about this site. Yelling at random things in books is entertainment.
I don’t know, the arrow taking down the hovercraft didn’t seem that far fetched to me. It’s a projectile explosive that probably is designed to go off just after it breaches the metal hull of the craft, which would cause a sizable hole, not to mention if she hit something vital.
Buttercup rocks 🙂
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.
No comments on Katniss's speech to the rebels? "If we burn, you burn with us!" No? I thought it was a neat luine, very Katniss-y
IM GETTING HEDWIG FLASHBACKS!!!!!! YAY!!!
YES YOU DID IT.
MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE A DUMP RIGHT AFTER HE CLEANS MY BOX. AND I MEAN RIGHT AFTER.
I think I died right about then. My cats do this all the time. ARE YOU READING THIS, TIGER LILY???? I DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT.
1607: MEOW. WHAT? I’M A FUCKING CAT. CAN’T I MEOW?
There is nothing greater than that entry. Fucking nothing. In the entire fucking world. Fuck.
WILL TAKE A SECOND TO GAUGE IF I CAN GET A BACK RUB IN REAL QUICK. IF NOT, I CAN AT LEAST PET MY OWN FACE WITH THAT PIPE OVER THERE.
Holy fuck, the more Buttercup I get the more i want.
I love you Mark.
I think we all do. Nah, I'm pretty sure we all do.
Oh god this chapter. So intense! Utter BAMF-ness taking down aircraft with an arrow. Shame what had to happen to get a decent slogan out of Katniss, but this is war!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
YAY BUTTERCUP!
Buttercup=LOVE FOREVER! AND EVER!
T'would be impossible to share everything I love about this review, but this made me laugh so hard!
1601: MET WITH COMMANDER PAYLOR. IT’S CLEAR WE BOTH SHARE THE SAME SLIGHT DISGUST FOR SUBJECT. MUST RUB AGAINST HER LEGS LATER.
Woo! I got an account!
But anyways… The hovercrafts sound sort of like the Death Star, no?
BUTTERCUP IS..
<img src="http://i39.tinypic.com/21owxz8.jpg">
Perfect picture is perfect.
Hhahaa Buttercup for president! 😀 Awesome review. I thought them taking down bombers with arrows was so awesome. And Gale kicked Boggs in the face! I like Boggs but that was awesome.
So. Epic. Almost like Hedwig but almost awesomer? Kind of? More I don’t give a flying fuck, though. 😀 Lovely job, once again Mark.
Well, I think Collins has told us quite a bit about the only aircraft left in the country, They are HOVER Crafts, they move low and slow. No mach 1 planes here or dropping your payload from 5 miles up. Probably have to have some visual references for bomb drops. Blow a hole in the craft and it looses stability and goes down.
As I type I see my scratched and blood clotted hand, I did not make my own "Buttercup" happy this morning and have the evidence to prove it. Thankfully it is only my hand and not poop warfare.
Poop warfare should seriously become a thing. Let's make it happen.
OMG I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!!!! Sneaky Mark! This is tagged as "buttercup is better than you"
XD For the first part of this review, I was mistakenly thinking that it was from Coin's point of view. I wasn't sure why Coin had an obsession with rats. When I got to the point where the narrator expressed that they wanted to rub against Paylor's leg, I decided I would scroll back up and see who's point of view it was from.
not a very detailed chapter 🙁
What an interesting way of writing a review. You should do more like this
Write a review as Cinna!!
Now,now I’m sure Mark doesn’t want us to start requesting differant characters for him to write a review as..* Haymitch! Pleese!!* I..I.. don’t know were that’s coming from…
Finnick or Johanna, if we're doing requests. Or Snow. OH, SNOW.
Just thought I'd be a weird math nerd and point out that Mark is rerviewing chapter seven on february seven. hope he doesn't skip any more days and this continues…
The would make my life. It might have made my life just a teeny bit more if this were March instead of February, so the third book would line up with the third month (and then this would have been true for the first two books as well)
High five math nerds.
Mark can we talk about Paylor tomorrow, btw? 😯 I think she's fantastic.
I totally forgot she was in this chapter 🙁
EPIC WIN! both for your review as Buttercup and for Katniss and Gale taking out the hovercrafts with FREAKING ARROWS!
the shooting scene made me ship Gale/Katniss for just a minute, because it was so badass
True enough.
As much as I have enjoyed your reviews (and I enjoy them immensely), and as awesome as it is to read reviews where you are CLEARLY enjoying the book…. I have sort of missed the hilarious variations you used to employ in your twilight reviews. so. thank you for doing this – I was surprised and delighted.
ok, well, no one else has mentioned it, but the part where Katniss meets a woman in the hospital who cries over Katniss's fake miscarriage, and Katniss wants to tell her everything right then and there? THAT REALLY GOT TO ME.
it was kind of amazing because it didn't mean that much to Katniss, the pregnancy (as much as the idea of what the Capitol was taking away from her, and from Peeta, symbolically) but other people obviously reacted strongly to the story, and it was real to *them*, and there's something about that I can't quite put my finger on, but it was really powerful
(someone, help me out :(!)
I had the same feeling, that moment of Katniss realizing how much her fake pregnancy and miscarriage meant to others. And how she wanted to tell them the truth,but couldn't,, for Peeta's sake.
yeah! it was yet another moment when she was utterly powerless and captive to the 'front' she was having to put up to further the cause/her survival, but this time it was a non-threatening person she was lying to, someone who wasn't trying to kill her, and who was obviously grieving FOR HER, yet Katniss couldn't even comfort her. But I wondered, if she'd told the truth, would the woman have felt betrayed? Would people lose faith in Katniss as their symbol, even though she has still been incredibly courageous (just for not the reasons that people supposed)?
which anyway makes me think, these books deal a lot with the power of media and especially of narrative: we have this unique situation here where it's suggested that people might care more about the narrative (and imagined relationships/people) than about real ones, not due to their fault, they don't know, but the implication – stated earlier, when it was discussed whether Katniss could be in an open relationship with Gale – was the same: that people wouldn't forgive Katniss if she told the truth after telling the 'lie' of her love for Peeta, even if the reasons – her survival, Peeta's survival, their families' survival – was compelling.
is this supposed to be a criticism of people, or is it more of an observation of the inherent problems with society and relationships, that humans can't ever know what's going on with someone else and so we have to believe in what we think is true about other people, from what we see and what we hear, but that may not be the whole story
aaaaand I'm going to bed now, wowza. Mark, liliaeth, everyone, it's been lovely, good night!
just wondering…
if the rebels win, and they have a republic/democracy, do you think they'd change "president" to a different address? originally the address "mr. president" was chosen cause they didn't want it to sound too official, cause it was a democracy (ie different than "your majesty" for a king). but president snow is basically a dictator. so do you think they'd start calling the leader "comrade" or "temporary leader" or something like that? or do you think they'd keep it?
At first I thought you had resurrected Hedwig for this review, until I realized that Buttercup was Katniss's cat. LOL
Yeah — because Haymitch didn't want to use the hovercraft he's in to help — so it was nice of the enemy dropping bombs to fly low enough that the percussion from their own bombs could knock them out of the sky. No no- The arrows were just so much more explosive than the big bombs. Hope no stray bullets hit that quiver or you guys will be picking Mockingjay out of your teeth.
The enemy didn't see the rebel hovercraft — because it is invisible right? Like a klingon ship? Why not make the mockingjay suit out of that magic Klingon ship stuff?