Mark Reads ‘John Dies At The End’: Chapter 9, Part 2

In the second half of the ninth chapter of John Dies at the End, John, David, and Krissy have an absolutely mind-boggling experience inside the Mall of the Dead. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read John Dies at the End.

Chapter Nine: The Bratwurst Prophecy, Part 2

(This review covers pages 233-249 in the book.)

Oh my god!!!! There are a couple huge things that happen in the remainder of this chapter.

Video Games!

I don’t even care if this is just John’s idea of a joke. The entire mall sequence in this chapter is eerily reminiscent of video games. It really is! So, does that mean that this alternate reality can be affected by any biases a person brings to it? There’s quite a bit of talk here about belief and the way it can have ramifications for how these creatures manifest. Does that mean if John believes this to operate like a video game, then it will?

The Doors

Let’s just assume that this is how John perceives events happening. Sometimes, John and David share visions or experiences, and sometimes they don’t. That doesn’t negate the importance of all these doors, something that Danny Wexler later refers to with frantic urgency. There are doors within the Mall of the Dead, and they might be spread all over town. Was he referring to the numbered doors that unlock with the numbered keys? Or was he talking about metaphorical doors to another world? Or both at the same time?

Patient/Ground Zero

So, the fake Jamaican lived in the Mall of the Dead, and very well could have gotten high off soy sauce for the first time in this place. But why here?

Possession Can Be Fought Off

I honestly did not think this was possible. When David felt a sudden burst of adrenaline and clarity, I suspected he had somehow gotten a dose of soy sauce within him. It wasn’t until he shot John in the head that I realized how horribly wrong this all was. David was possessed. Holy shit, I didn’t expect this, certainly not halfway through the novel! Even more frightening, though, was when the thing jumped from David’s body to Krissy’s. She was dead. As far as I knew, she was dead, and that thing would be inside her until that point, and then it would move to another body. AND THEN SHE FIGHTS IT OFF. Not before giving David the most bone-chilling look ever, but she fucking does it. Holy shit, how??? How is that even possible? What did she do???


It was hard for me not to think of the infamous Doctor Who episode “Blink” when I read the time-traveling video sequence. Obviously, it’s used in an entirely different context here, one that suggests the ease with which one can dislodge themselves from time while on soy sauce. It’s still entertaining as hell, you know? And why does Danny say that David is “under the eye”? Under Korrok’s eye, maybe? So Korrok is watching him? Because y’all, I don’t understand what’s at stake here.

Arnie Doesn’t Believe Anything

And I sincerely don’t blame him for it. This is a convoluted, ridiculous story, one that’s highly engaging, but lacks all proof, at least from Arnie’s perspective. I appreciate Arnie as a narrative foil to David anyway. It’s refreshing to step out of the story, and Arnie acts as the perfect audience surrogate. As we’re quickly realizing how nonsensical this all seems, he pipes up to confirm our suspicious. What are we supposed to believe anymore?


What happened to her? Why is she so important?

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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