{"id":1128,"date":"2012-07-31T05:00:45","date_gmt":"2012-07-31T12:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/?p=1128"},"modified":"2012-07-23T12:48:08","modified_gmt":"2012-07-23T19:48:08","slug":"mark-reads-the-sandman-9x09-part-nine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/07\/mark-reads-the-sandman-9x09-part-nine\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Reads ‘The Sandman’: 9×09 – Part Nine"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the sixty-fifth issue of The Sandman<\/em>, I have reached unheard of levels of NOT PREPARED. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Sandman<\/em>.<\/p>\n

“Part Nine”<\/strong><\/p>\n

NO NO NO NO NO NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???<\/p>\n

\n
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT STRING THING IN THE FIRST CHAPTER? Once I finished this issue, I thought it might have been a visual reference to Daniel’s string, but no, that makes about as much sense as Rush Limbaugh’s existence. No. WHAT IS IT? WHO IS HOLDING THE PAIR OF SCISSORS???<\/li>\n
Okay, THIS LIBRARY HAS A LOT OF SIMILARITIES TO DREAM’S LIBRARY. Where is Lucien? I half expected him to show up. It looks so similar!<\/li>\n
NO, I JUST CANNOT DEAL WITH THE FUCKING PANEL WHERE IT’S A CLOSE-UP OF ROSE WITH A ROSE IN FRONT OF HER MOUTH. WHY. WHY AM I SO HEARTBROKEN BY IT.<\/li>\n
I SHIP MR. MCGUIRE AND ALEX. THERE. DEAL WITH IT.<\/li>\n
NO, WHAT THE FUCK, WHY IS DESIRE HERE??? WHY IS SHE TEASING ROSE? OH MY GOD, I DON’T WANT TO FIND OUT WHY SHE’S IN THIS ISSUE ANYMORE. IT TERRIFIES ME. Oh god, we already know that Desire isn’t too fond of Dream, so is there another<\/em> plot to destroy him in the works? I AM SO FULL OF DREAD.<\/li>\n
Someone just make me lord of the Dread realm. I’ve basically paid my dues at this point.<\/li>\n
Rose’s monologue about the pain of being in love is just so perfect that every story about love I read after this will just pale in comparison.<\/li>\n
Why did Desire leave behind that lighter??? Is it a sigil so that Rose can call upon her???<\/li>\n
WAIT WHY IS DREAM IN THE HOUSE WHERE DANIEL WAS BURNED ALIVE? A TEST? I DON’T FUCKING GET THIS.<\/li>\n
OH GOD, WILL WE SEE WHAT A DEATH-CURSE DOES TO A PERSON? You can’t introduce that idea and then<\/em> just never tell me what it entails! THIS IS A GREAT INJUSTICE.<\/li>\n
The art and coloring in this issue is just perfection. I’m so into this cartoonish, dark style, and I think it’s really helping me to enjoy this volume quite a bit.<\/li>\n
“Have you never wondered, little bird, what it must be like to see the world through the eyes of a god?” LAKJSDF A;LKSFD AK;L A;SKDLFJ OH MY GOD THE CORINTHIAN IS GOING TO EAT LOKI’S EYES. <\/em><\/strong>h e l p<\/em><\/li>\n
Wait, those dialogue bubbles are red. That means the Kindly Ones are speaking. I PAY ATTENTION, SEE???<\/li>\n
what<\/li>\n
what are they looking for<\/li>\n
no<\/li>\n
NO<\/li>\n
NO THAT IS FIDDLER’S GREEN<\/li>\n
NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY DID YOU KILL A BEAR<\/li>\n
AND A BALD EAGLE<\/li>\n
YOU TERRORISTS<\/em><\/li>\n
NO YOU BETTER LEAVE HIM ALO\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/li>\n
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!! OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE????<\/strong><\/li>\n
(I legitimately screamed at the pages of this issue when Fiddler’s Green was stabbed. I am STILL very upset.)<\/li>\n
I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this. This is the opposite of what I wanted. \ud83d\ude41<\/li>\n
Dream’s conversation with Matthew is just so fucked up. Matthew is too upset for me to cope with. Ugh.<\/li>\n
Why is Dream visiting Thessaly<\/em>? Has he known that she’s taken Lyta under her wing?<\/li>\n
oh.<\/li>\n
oh fuck<\/li>\n
oh my god<\/li>\n
THIS IS THE WOMAN WHO DREAM HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH AND WHO LEFT HIM ISN’T IT<\/li>\n
IT TOTALLY IS. THAT EXPLAINS THE UNCOMFORTABLE DYNAMIC.<\/li>\n
MY BRAIN. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS ISSUE. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS?<\/li>\n
Wait, what the fuck<\/em>? There are other speaking ravens around that don’t belong to Dream?<\/li>\n
Wait, I knew that. Why was I still surprised by this? Plus, I knew from a past issue that ravens were all leaving their posts for mysterious reasons. So, they’re in the Dreaming???<\/li>\n
I’m kind of touched by the fact that Matthew won’t feast on Fiddler’s Green.<\/li>\n
“There’s going to be a lot of corpses, aren’t there? There’s going to be a battle. There’s going to be a war.” no no no no no no no<\/li>\n
“Oh, I think the war’s already begun.” nope nope nope nope nope nope.<\/li>\n
“So there you are, Daniel. I’ve been looking all over for you.”<\/li>\n
NO, FUCK YOU, LOKI! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU OH MY GOD DANIEL ISN’T EVEN DEAD THIS IS THE WORST PLOT TWIST EVER, I AM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW BECAUSE EVERYTHING HAS GONE TO SHIT AND THERE’S NO REASON FOR THIS TO HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n
OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO UNPREPARED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
help me.<\/p>\n
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In the sixty-fifth issue of The Sandman, I have reached unheard of levels of NOT PREPARED. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Sandman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[204],"tags":[235,216,104],"class_list":["post-1128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sandman","tag-emotionally-destructive-fiction","tag-mark-reads-the-sandman","tag-neil-gaiman"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1128\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}