{"id":846,"date":"2012-02-21T06:00:42","date_gmt":"2012-02-21T14:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/?p=846"},"modified":"2012-02-13T11:24:18","modified_gmt":"2012-02-13T19:24:18","slug":"mark-reads-the-return-of-the-king-predictions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/02\/mark-reads-the-return-of-the-king-predictions\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Reads ‘The Return of the King’: Predictions"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know, despite how much information I have going into The Return of the King<\/em>, I don’t feel as if I’m going to do well at this at all. I do have a better sense of why this book was so long, but SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN at this point. So, allow me to continue making a fool of myself on the Internet for your entertainment. It is what I do<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Just to remind you of this, since EVERY time someone feels the need to be edgy and clever and do it anyway, DO NOT HINT, ASSUME, IMPLY, WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE, OR OTHERWISE CONFIRM OR DENY ANY OF MY PREDICTIONS<\/em>. Let me have my fun.<\/p>\n

All right, let’s get to it.<\/p>\n

Mark’s Horrific Predictions for The Return of the King<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. There will be two battles in this book: One at Minas Tirith, and one in Mordor.<\/li>\n
  2. Someone will walk into Mordor.<\/li>\n
  3. Arwen will show up.<\/li>\n
  4. Galadriel will show up.<\/li>\n
  5. Elrond will show up.<\/li>\n
  6. Sam will be reunited with Frodo.<\/li>\n
  7. Pippin will be reunited with Merry.<\/li>\n
  8. Gimli will get to return to Lothl\u00c3\u00b3rien.<\/li>\n
  9. Aragorn will kill one of the Nine Riders.<\/li>\n
  10. Gimli will kill more Orcs than Legolas.<\/li>\n
  11. Gandalf will be the one to battle Sauron, not Frodo.<\/li>\n
  12. Sam will sacrifice himself in order to destroy the Ring.<\/li>\n
  13. The Ring will pass into someone else’s possession before it gets back to Frodo.<\/li>\n
  14. Ugh, I hate typing this, but I think Merry will die.<\/li>\n
  15. Actually, I think Gandalf will as well. And for real.<\/li>\n
  16. Aragorn will get to end up with Arwen.<\/li>\n
  17. Frodo will return to the Shire and begin to write down his tale, like Bilbo did.<\/li>\n
  18. We will find out by the book’s end that Bilbo Baggins has died.<\/li>\n
  19. Oh, and if it’s not clear, the Ring will get thrown into Mount Doom.<\/li>\n
  20. So will Gollum. UGH GOLLUM WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.<\/li>\n
  21. Treebeard will die. \ud83d\ude41 \ud83d\ude41 \ud83d\ude41<\/li>\n
  22. There will be zombies? Look, I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws here.<\/li>\n
  23. We will see another Balrog or a demon like it.<\/li>\n
  24. Faramir will die.<\/li>\n
  25. Okay, I have no idea what I’m doing at all.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    OH WELL. Here’s to further embarrassing myself!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    You know, despite how much information I have going into The Return of the King, I don’t feel as if I’m going to do well at this at all. I do have a better sense of why this book was … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[136,147],"tags":[118,23,138,93],"class_list":["post-846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-lord-of-the-rings","category-the-return-of-the-king","tag-jrr-tolkien","tag-mark-reads","tag-mark-reads-the-lord-of-the-rings","tag-predictions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=846"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}