{"id":753,"date":"2012-01-20T06:00:53","date_gmt":"2012-01-20T14:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/?p=753"},"modified":"2012-01-14T18:09:16","modified_gmt":"2012-01-15T02:09:16","slug":"mark-reads-the-two-towers-predictions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/01\/mark-reads-the-two-towers-predictions\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Reads &#8216;The Two Towers&#8217;: Predictions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In <em>The Two Towers, <\/em>I don&#8217;t know what happens and I am certain I am going to embarrass myself. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to make predictions about <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->You know, this list took much longer than I anticipated, and that&#8217;s all Tolkien&#8217;s fault. Nearly everything I thought <em>might<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0have happened has occurred. I genuinely do not understand how there are hundreds upon hundreds of pages left. What&#8217;s left to be resolved? That&#8217;s not a criticism, for the record. For once, I don&#8217;t even have a grasp on the scope of this story, and now I&#8217;m supposed to <em>predict<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0it? I AM ONLY MADE OF BAD DECISIONS. So let&#8217;s get down to this. I know it may seem obvious to you, but I always have to remind folks of this: <strong>Do not answer any of my questions and do not hint at the validity of any of my predictions<\/strong>. This is just to publicly show y&#8217;all how unprepared I am.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mark&#8217;s Prediction for The Two Towers<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Okay, this isn&#8217;t really a prediction, but I need you to know that I&#8217;m positive I&#8217;ve referred to this book as <em>The Dark Tower<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0at least ten times in the last month, and no one corrected me. Either they were so concerned about spoiling me that they didn&#8217;t want to tell me the correct title, or they think I&#8217;m a goddamned fool.<\/li>\n<li>All right, let&#8217;s get to it. Sam and Frodo will get sidetracked and won&#8217;t make it to Mordor in this book at all.<\/li>\n<li>The Company will be reunited by the end of the book.<\/li>\n<li>This book will end on a cliffhanger.<\/li>\n<li>Arwen will make an appearance.<\/li>\n<li>We will learn that someone in the Shire has died since the hobbits left.<\/li>\n<li>Boromir will have a change of heart regarding the Ring, but not until <em>after<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0the other part of the Company gets to Minas Tirith.<\/li>\n<li>We will find out exactly <em>what<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0that Eye thing is.<\/li>\n<li>Gollum will speak to one of the characters.<\/li>\n<li>We will see at least <em>two<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0new creatures\/beasts\/monsters.<\/li>\n<li>We will find out what these two towers are? Is it the tower in Mordor and the one in Minas Tirith? GOD WHY AM I EVEN ASKING QUESTIONS.<\/li>\n<li>One talking pony. JUST ONE, PLEASE.<\/li>\n<li>Ugh, I hate even typing this. I think one of the hobbits will die. Probably Pippin. ASD;KLFJSALKF;JSDFJK<\/li>\n<li>I am unprepared.<\/li>\n<li>Poems?<\/li>\n<li>Songs?<\/li>\n<li>I have no idea what I&#8217;m doing anymore.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So, Monday! I&#8217;ll see y&#8217;all then. OH GOD.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In The Two Towers, I don&#8217;t know what happens and I am certain I am going to embarrass myself. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to make predictions about The Lord of the Rings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[136,146],"tags":[118,23,138,93],"class_list":["post-753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-lord-of-the-rings","category-the-two-towers","tag-jrr-tolkien","tag-mark-reads","tag-mark-reads-the-lord-of-the-rings","tag-predictions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=753"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. 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