{"id":706,"date":"2011-12-28T06:00:55","date_gmt":"2011-12-28T14:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/?p=706"},"modified":"2011-12-24T18:09:15","modified_gmt":"2011-12-25T02:09:15","slug":"mark-reads-the-fellowship-of-the-ring-chapter-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2011\/12\/mark-reads-the-fellowship-of-the-ring-chapter-7\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Reads ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’: Chapter 7"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the seventh chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring<\/em>, BLESS MY BEARD WHAT DID I JUST READ?<\/strong> Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Lord of the Rings<\/em>.<\/p>\n

CHAPTER SEVEN: IN THE HOUSE OF TOM BOMBADIL<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay, seriously, I did not expect things to get so weird<\/em>. This is some surrealist, freaky shit, y’all. My concerns about the River-daughter and Tom’s bizarre behavior were only minimally acknowledged in the first few pages of chapter seven. What I ultimately love about all of this and this character specifically is that I still have no goddamn clue who he is<\/em>.<\/p>\n

On top of that, the very first woman in all of Middle-earth is finally introduced. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, TOLKIEN. Oh my god, y’all, I understand none of this<\/em>. Which is perfectly fine, by the way! I get the sense that Tolkien is being mysterious entirely on purpose, that I’m not supposed to now exactly what’s happened here in the house of Tom Bambadil.<\/p>\n

Does that mean I’m not going to try? YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MARK’S ATTEMPT AT DECIPHERING TOM BOMBADIL AND THE RIVER-DAUGHTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
I just need to say this first: it is going to be the funniest thing in the world if there’s actually no mystery here at all and my reading comprehension skills are completely useless and I didn’t understand what’s already on the page. SO THIS MIGHT BE A DISASTER.<\/li>\n
Is there some significance to the fact that the River-daughter has vessels filled with water and topped with water-lillies at her feet? Probably. Do I know what that is? Nope.<\/li>\n
What does Goldberry mean? IS THAT A CLUE<\/em>.<\/li>\n
Okay, so if I understand it correctly, Frodo greets this woman with, “Fair lady Goldberry!” and then sings her a lovely song, and all of this is surprising to him because…well, he has no idea why he said this. So…is she like Old Man Willow and can cast some sort of “spell” over others?<\/li>\n
Who is Tom Bombadil? “He is, as you have seen him. He is the Master of wood, water, and hill.” WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?<\/strong> Master of this<\/em> part of the wood? Of all woods?<\/li>\n
“No one has ever caught old Tom walking in the forest, wading in the water, leaping on the hilltops under light and shadow. he has no fear. Tom Bambadil is master.” Yeah, this makes absolutely no sense. I kind of love that fact, honestly, but it’s true. What the hell<\/em> is going on?<\/li>\n
I’m sorry, I know that it’s nice and kind and I won’t ignore that, but if I showed up at a stranger’s house, and he had four bathtubs perfectly set up for me and my three friends<\/em>, I would leave immediately. Okay, granted, he could have set this up in the few minutes they spoke to Goldberry, but given later comments, Tom makes it clear he has been waiting for them to arrive<\/em>.<\/li>\n
I understand that eating and hobbits go hand-in-hand. I understand that Tom might also know this and want to treat his hobbit friends politely, respecting their culture in the process. That’s awesome! However, it feels like he’s doing this to trap<\/em> them in some way, or, at the very least, to distract them from something else.<\/li>\n
Frodo finally asks Tom a question. Wait, first of all, no one could “muster the courage to ask one of the many questions” they had throughout dinner. Seriously, THIS FEELS WEIRD TO ME.<\/li>\n
Anyway, Frodo asks if Tom heard him calling for help, or if it was by chance that he came upon Old Man Willow. He replies, “It was no plan of mine, though I was waiting for you.” HOW IS THIS NOT A CLEAR SIGN THAT YOU SHOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT HOUSE<\/em>. <\/strong>Well, to be fair, they all seem to be enchanted by Goldberry and Tom, so I’m not criticizing the characters. BUT STILL. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.<\/li>\n
Why does Tom need to go fetch water-lillies for Goldberry? Is it part of some ritual? You know, I’m doing terribly at trying to decipher this all, which makes me laugh and then makes me think that perhaps I’ve made a huge deal out of nothing.<\/li>\n
THE DREAMS. Okay, perhaps this is the only sign that Tom brought them here specifically<\/em> to trigger these dreams. Frodo vision of the dark tower with a man on top of it reminds me of the one he had earlier, so I’m going to assume it’s important to the story. Pippin has a dream that the house he’s in is<\/em> the Old Man Willow itself. Merry dreams of the house filling with water and drowning him. What do these mean? Why would Tolkien spend time describing them? THEY’RE IMPORTANT, OKAY?<\/li>\n
Sam didn’t dream of anything LOL FOREVER.<\/li>\n
So after this, I thought that this was all a good<\/em> thing. But the next morning, it turns out a storm has rolled in, so Tom gleefully exclaims that they all get to stay at his house some more! Which…he is too happy about this. I DON’T GET HIM.<\/li>\n
However, he does sit down for a question and answer session of sorts with the hobbits, who all have a lot of questions for him about…well, everything<\/em>. He’s surprisingly open about the Old Forest and its history, talking mostly about the Great Willow that tried to…kill them? I suppose that’s what its ultimate goal was, right? Either way, I actually really liked this bit of info-dumping because it gives me a bigger sense for the enormity and complexity of Middle-earth. What ends up being fascinating about fantasy is that these sort of things can just exist<\/em> and they don’t have to necessarily be explained in our terms.<\/li>\n
THERE ARE WIGHTS IN MIDDLE-EARTH? Oh my god I AM SO EXCITED.<\/li>\n
Okay, this is the weirdest part: Tom starts talking of times long<\/em> before anyone can remember or is even aware of in Middle-earth history and he basically falls asleep. What’s important is that he stops talking.<\/em> As soon as he does: “…it seemed as if, under the spell of his words, the wind had gone, and the clouds had dried up, and the day had been withdrawn, and darkness had come from East and West, and all the sky was filled with the light of white stars.” OKAY I’M SORRY HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE AND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.<\/li>\n
When Frodo asks Tom, “Who are you, Master?”….I just broke. My brain broke and I threw my hands up in the air and just accepted the weirdness for what it was. All of a sudden, he starts referring to “Tom” in the third person, as if some other<\/em> entity is living inside that human body, and that other thing<\/em> assures Frodo that the Master was here SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. What is this??? Is this Middle-earth’s version of God? I AM SO TERRIBLY LOST AND I AM ENJOYING EVERY SECOND OF IT.<\/li>\n
This is not an attempt at deciphering this, but I lol’d quite heartily when Goldberry bursts in and is all, “LET’S ALL EAT LOL.” Oh my god.<\/li>\n
How does Tom know about their lives? How does he know Farmer Maggot????<\/em><\/li>\n
WHY CAN’T TOM DISAPPEAR WHEN HE PUTS THE RING ON???? !!!!!!!!! THIS IS A BIG DEAL !!!!!!!!!!<\/li>\n
what the hell just happened<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
So Tom is some sort of god and Goldberry is a daughter of the River and very little of this made any sense and somehow…well, it didn’t really ruin or affect how much I’m enjoying this. That<\/em> is no small feat, my friends.<\/p>\n
No, but seriously, what’s going on? I FEEL SO UNPREPARED IT HURTS<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In the seventh chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring, BLESS MY BEARD WHAT DID I JUST READ? Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Lord of the Rings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[137,136],"tags":[143,118,23,138,148,145,144],"class_list":["post-706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-fellowship-of-the-ring","category-the-lord-of-the-rings","tag-frodo-baggins","tag-jrr-tolkien","tag-mark-reads","tag-mark-reads-the-lord-of-the-rings","tag-merry-brandybuck","tag-pippin","tag-sam-gamgee"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=706"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/706\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}