In the fifteenth part of\u00c2\u00a0Hogfather<\/i>, Susan confronts Teatime while Death reveals his motivations. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to read\u00c2\u00a0Discworld<\/i>.<\/p>\n
AHHHHHHH EVERYTHING IS FINALLY HAPPENING!<\/p>\n
Susan and Teatime<\/b><\/p>\n
Gods, I really, really do not like Teatime. There is no redeeming feature in this character\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s make-up, and at this point, all I want is for Susan to destroy. He is so cruel to Sideney over something that isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really in his control. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 oh god. Teatime is like all those assholes I met through my retail job who would demand impossible things of me and my employees and then get mad we couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fulfill them. (Like the horrible woman who tried to get me to return\u00c2\u00a0clearly used underwear<\/i>. I wish I was lying.) Teatime is also 90% of all people who hire a graphic artist for commission\/contract work, except he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll murder you at the end. OTHERWISE, HE IS THE SAME.<\/p>\n
I feel very good about typing that. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m gonna start calling unreasonable jerks Teatime, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll mispronounce it, too.<\/p>\n
So, anyway! Susan and Teatime\u00c2\u00a0finally<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0meet, and I came to realize that I was looking forward to this more than anything else in the book. Which is weird in hindsight because I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I would have expected them to ever meet, given how the story was unfolding. I had figured early on that Teatime and\u00c2\u00a0Death<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0would have a big confrontation. This, though? Oh, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so much better. Why? Well, I feel like they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re more evenly suited to battle another, first of all. But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m now noticing how many times Pratchett hints at the twist that comes at the end of the section. I missed each of them, and it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t until he spelled it out that the terrible irony hit me:<\/p>\n She was normal. Here, she was what she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d always wanted to be.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH THE DOOR, REMEMBER? OH MY GOD. THEY\u00c2\u00a0AREN<\/i>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0EVENLY SUITED AT ALL. How??? How is she going to stop him???<\/p>\n Violet and Bilious<\/b><\/p>\n Okay, I kinda love the idea of a temp god. This is my new favorite thing, and I kinda wanna run with it and write a modern version of this. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s perfect. PERFECT. Oh god, and I could make it set in the\u00c2\u00a0American Gods<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0world and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just gonna stop here. This will get out of hand soon. Anyway, I am guessing that Violet will learn who Bilious is very soon, but that discovery can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen here because of the Vanishing Cabinet that sends people to the Room of Requirement \u00e2\u20ac\u201c er, back to the real world, but\u00c2\u00a0dead<\/i>. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something viscerally horrifying about the way the nightmares in this world kill people, y\u00e2\u20ac\u2122all. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not funny at\u00c2\u00a0all<\/i>, but I suspect that Pratchett never intended these moments to be hilarious. This place is more or less fighting back against the intruders as they get closer to their goal. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s kind of ironic, isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it? Their very belief is what fuels these things, despite that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re trying to\u00c2\u00a0steal\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>it from others. The very thing they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re hoarding is causing their demise.<\/p>\n Death<\/b>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Plan<\/b><\/p>\n I felt very comforted by the fact that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d nailed down a great deal of the mystery at work here. The Auditors had \u00e2\u20ac\u0153killed\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the Hogfather through Teatime. Like we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen of them before, the world was too sloppy with the Hogfather in it, especially since he represented a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wistful lying\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in humanity. So, Death set out to correct that disparity in belief, as I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d hypothesized! I felt so proud of myself. I HAD GOT IT RIGHT.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Anyway, why\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re\u00c2\u00a0you<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0doing the job?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n SOMEONE MUST. IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT. THEY MUST BE SEEN, AND BELIEVED. BEFORE DAWN, THERE MUST BE ENOUGH BELIEF IN THE HOGFATHER.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Ridcully.<\/p>\n SO THAT THE SUN WILL COME UP.<\/p>\n The two wizards gawped at him.<\/p>\n I SELDOM JOKE, said Death.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n WHAT THE FUCK, Y<\/i>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ALL.\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get it! How are those two things even\u00c2\u00a0remotely<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0related??? I figured that Hex would have helped me understand this, but instead, Pratchett takes this plot in an adorable direction. Death orders Hex to believe in the Hogfather \u00e2\u20ac\u201c which is a brilliant strategy, I might add \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and Hex then immediately makes a Hogswatch list. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S ON IT, FRIENDS. Please let that happen. PLEASE.<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=f1LAVbXSOkE<\/p>\n Mark Links Stuff<\/b><\/p>\n – I am now on Patreon<\/a>! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards.<\/b> In the fifteenth part of\u00c2\u00a0Hogfather, Susan confronts Teatime while Death reveals his motivations. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to read\u00c2\u00a0Discworld.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[451],"tags":[519,463,248],"class_list":["post-3947","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-discworld","tag-hogfather","tag-mark-reads-discworld","tag-terry-pratchett"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3947","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3947"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3947\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3947"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n– I\u00c2\u00a0will be at numerous conventions in 2016! Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates \/ Appearances page.<\/a>
\n– My Master Schedule<\/a> is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often.\u00c2\u00a0My next Double Features for Mark Watches have been announced here.<\/a>
\n<\/b>-\u00c2\u00a0Mark Does Stuff is on Facebook!<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0I’ve got a community page up that I’m running. Guaranteed shenanigans!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"