In the thirteenth part of\u00c2\u00a0Hogfather<\/i>, Susan travels to a strange place, Teatime\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s henchman have an unnerving encounter, and Death is confronted. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to read\u00c2\u00a0Discworld.<\/i><\/p>\n
Another World<\/b><\/p>\n
So why is it that so many kids all over the world draw things so similarly? Is it became the development of our understanding of the world progresses much the same anywhere you are? Like, why did I draw houses the same way? Why did I understand colors\u00c2\u00a0exactly<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0as Pratchett describes here? My house looked nothing like the one I drew, and yet I totally had four square windows, a triangular roof, a chimney, and the same goddamn tree sitting outside of it.<\/p>\n
I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have an answer. But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s clear that enough children on the Disc do the same thing because THERE\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S AN ENTIRE WORLD BASED SOLELY ON THIS UNIVERSAL DESIGN. Of\u00c2\u00a0course<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0there is! Context clues from later in this chapter suggest that this is where Teatime and his henchmen are, but exactly\u00c2\u00a0how<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0do you access it? Is that what they used the wizard for? Bah, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m jumping ahead of myself. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help it! I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m excited for Susan and Bilious because they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re so close to the truth, which means\u00c2\u00a0I<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0am, too. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m selfish, okay?<\/p>\n
Hogfather Gifts<\/b><\/p>\n
I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even realize it until I got to this section, but Death, as the Hogfather, had given me a gift. Me, the reader! See, I do generally love people making fun of overly expensive food. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll pay a lot of money every so often to have a really good sushi dinner, but otherwise, I am utterly uninterested in the whole Tiny Portion Food That Costs A Third of My Rent thing. Even if I someday have a ton of money, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll never partake in it. It seems so absurd to me! So yes, I was endlessly pleased with the whole Boots as Gourmet Cuisine scene. And then it happened.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even find the coffee\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Still, they probably won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t last till the coffee\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mud.\u00c2\u00a0Caf\u00c3\u00a9 de Terre,<\/i>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said the manager firmly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Genuine ground coffee.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll spot that, sir!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153They haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t up till now,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said the manager darkly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I will never recover from this. NEVER.<\/p>\n
Teatime<\/b><\/p>\n
Is it weird that I just feel\u00c2\u00a0bad<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0for all the men that Teatime scooped up and got to work for him? Yes, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re criminals, and no, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I need to condone what they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done to people. At the same time, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re stuck working with one of the most frightening characters in this whole series of books. Teatime\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s attack on Medium Dave is just\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 good lord. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not gonna repeat the thing he does to him because I HAVE A THING ABOUT EYES, but yet again, Teatime switches between a horrific violence and that camaraderie that he\u00c2\u00a0thinks<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0works but actually makes him scarier.<\/p>\n
And I still don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s doing. Why the deeds? What did they do with all the teeth they stole? Why does Banjo suddenly seem to care more about supporting Teatime than his brother, despite that Teatime most certainly did not treat him better? Is it because of fear? A twisted sense of respect?<\/p>\n
I DON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T GET IT.<\/p>\n
Death<\/b><\/p>\n
Of\u00c2\u00a0course,\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>right as Death arrives in the Library at Unseen University, this section ends. THE WORLD HAS CONSPIRED AGAINST ME. Since the wizards are the only humans who can reliably recognize Death on sight, I was excited to see if Death would explain\u00c2\u00a0why<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0he had taken up the mantle of the Hogfather. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT. It better be at the start of the next section. What I know thus far is that Death\u00c2\u00a0wants<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0people to believe in the Hogfather, given that Teatime and the Auditors did something to make people STOP believing in him. Is it working, though? Have Death and Albert succeeded? I NEED TO KNOW.<\/p>\n
https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=4UEJRFj3s70<\/p>\n
Mark Links Stuff<\/b><\/p>\n
– I am now on Patreon<\/a>! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards.<\/b>
\n– I\u00c2\u00a0will be at numerous conventions in 2016! Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates \/ Appearances page.<\/a>
\n– My Master Schedule<\/a> is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often.\u00c2\u00a0My next Double Features for Mark Watches have been announced here.<\/a>
\n<\/b>-\u00c2\u00a0Mark Does Stuff is on Facebook!<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0I’ve got a community page up that I’m running. Guaranteed shenanigans!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"In the thirteenth part of\u00c2\u00a0Hogfather, Susan travels to a strange place, Teatime\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s henchman have an unnerving encounter, and Death is confronted. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to read\u00c2\u00a0Discworld.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[451],"tags":[519,463,248],"class_list":["post-3943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-discworld","tag-hogfather","tag-mark-reads-discworld","tag-terry-pratchett"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3943"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3943\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}